hayden 🦝

randy- I Can't Stand Him, I hate him, I cant leave him, I want to kill him, i want to kill both of us, he is everything to me, I want him to kill me, he is evil and sick, I want him to take care of me, I need him to need me, I never want him to look away from me, I can never let him touch me, touch me touch me please please god please touch me - bradley

when you're at the humiliation ritual competition and then niall kennedy shows up and invites the guy he frequented chemsex parties with, the girl he went to college with who he kept asking for money to pay off his fuck ups in adulthood, the ex who he got pregnant and cheated on a bunch of times, to his wedding with the guy his brother beat half to death and put in coma in college, and then said brother shows up at said wedding so they can kill each other

tyler impatiently waits for narrator to finish putting sunscreen all over him so he can go play in the water

I know for a fact that Niall stayed on his bullshit. Butch was the best man at his wedding. They went to that spa LAST NIGHT and did coke in the bridal suite before Lori got there. Credit to Alby for trying, but that man is broken beyond repair. Absolute failure. One of the greatest characters of the last decade.

actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

benson running late one morning and coming into work with damp hair and wafts of old spice from his morning shower. fresh, pink skin, the ends of his hair curling around his neck and forehead, fluffy everywhere it has already dried . randys never seen him look so .. Fresh . gets caught staring when benson grumbles out a "learn to fuckin blink bradley"