Universe full of brains.

ABUSIVE POLY PEOPLE ARE REAL

ABUSIVE POLY IS NOT “NOT REAL POLY” IT IS STILL REAL AND NEEDS TO BE CALLED OUT AND ACKNOWLEDGED RATHER THAN PULLING THIS “NO TRUE SCOTSMAN” SHIT DOESN’T HELP ANYONE

POLYAMORY IS NOT “MORE EVOLVED OR ADVANCED” THAN MONOGAMY

YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN MONOGAMOUS PEOPLE

JEALOUSY DOES NOT MAKE SOME ONE “BAD AT POLY”, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE ALLOWED, IT’S WHAT WE DO WITH THOSE EMOTIONS THAT NEEDS TO BE WORKED ON

IT’S OKAY TO BE POLY AND NOT BE CONSTANTLY LOOKING TO EXPAND YOUR DATING POOL, IT’S OKAY TO BE HAPPY WITH ONE OR TWO PARTNERS AT ANY GIVEN TIME

IT IS NOT OKAY TO IGNORE PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU ASSUME POLYAMORY IS THE ANSWER, POLY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS AS MONOGAMOUS ONES, WE JUST NEED TO WORK EVEN HARDER AT THEM, NOT BLOW THEM OFF AND ACT LIKE WE’RE “ABOVE” MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN MONOGAMOUS PEOPLE

POLYAMORY DOESN’T MAKE YOU AUTOMATICALLY EMOTIONALLY EVOLVED, NON-ABUSIVE, OPEN-MINDED, OR PROGRESSIVE

POLYAMORY IS WONDERFUL

BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU WONDERFUL 

EXAMINE YOURSELF

EXAMINE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

EXAMINE YOUR POLYAMORY

suddenly the opening chorus of “carry on my wayward son” plays. for one moment i am thrown back into a black pit of plaid hell and cheap one-liners. for one terrible second i look into the middle distance and think to myself, “the road so far.”

Obama: once out of office, I’m gonna stop being polite and start getting real

Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin has a great new interview with President Obama in Vanity Fair. In the wide-ranging interview, they discuss Abraham Lincoln, Obama’s biggest regrets from his time in office, and how a visit to the pyramids reminded Obama that cable news doesn’t really matter.

But perhaps the most intriguing bit was when, in a brief discussion of Obama’s plans for his post-presidency, Obama hinted that he planned to start speaking out more like an activist than a president.

There are “things,” he told Goodwin, “that in some ways I suspect I’m able to do better out of this office.” He elaborated that because of the “institutional constraints” of the presidency, “there are things I cannot say.”

He went on to essentially say he wanted to use his post-presidential bully pulpit more like an activist than a venerable elder statesman. “There are institutional obligations I have to carry out that are important for a president of the United States to carry out, but may not always align with what I think would move the ball down the field on the issues that I care most deeply about,” he said.