winging life

I haven't been on here in so long. I hope you're all well.

cw: brief mention of self-injurious behaviour from a child, no details. First day back at school for A tomorrow and I’m dreading it. Her new teacher is super quiet and seems timid, I hope she proves me wrong. When I mentioned Al’s self-injurious behaviours she seemed to shrink, how the fuck is she going to cope when I mention Al’s recent thing of randomly shouting things about p*nis*s?  🙈  

I know they ~say~ people viewing your profile doesn’t influence your suggested friends, but my best friend is suddenly getting Nath’s mum and his sister’s partner popping up on her suggested friends/messenger suggestions. I’ve had them blocked for a few years, they’ve never contacted each other, and she doesn’t even have Nath as a fb friend (and he doesn’t have them on fb but does message his mum on there every now and then). Seems iffy.

I feel awful for complaining about things my kids can’t help but fucking hell I don’t know how I’m not cry-screaming most of the time each day lately. Not knowing what to do to help is the worst. Nath’s lucky I’m not booking myself on a cruise. We tried an extra curricular club today, at attendee kid’s request, and the shitstorm I witnessed after made me want to snog the face off of ten-days-ago-me for not paying out for a term at the more expensive club a few miles away. And the other kid is refusing to use the loo. Fabulousness all round.

You know freebie lists, the lists of 5 people you'd sleep with if it was possible while you're in a relationship? Turns out N's is all celebrities and mine (minus one) are all people I see almost every day. No wonder I'm so awkward around people, probably subconsciously stopping myself getting the hots for them. 🙄

Had a friend from the school round, sprayed furniture polish like air freshener so it was less noticeable that I'd just wiped everything over with a sock five minutes before her arrival. Winning at adulting, clearly.

I'm popping back to London in a few days for 5 days and I'm already dreading the week after. Going to try to enjoy myself and not phone to ask how things are going hourly. 😭

When the school receptionist makes a joke about saying your daughter's name so often she'll never forget it. As if it's going to stop me going there when I need to. As if namecalling combined with an already ongoing issue (3 months) isn't reason to go to the school to tell them/get them to do their job. I'm beyond furious right now, a school mum thought I was going to angry cry when I was telling her about it.

The place feels bare without our Halloween stuff up. Too soon to get the Christmas stuff out?