come on up to the house

advice for people that are actually doomed for real

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

hold up why is the beatles’ music actually fire

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

its nothing some ibuprofen and a blunt and 5 beers and a head injury and jacking off and killing myself cant fix

Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to treat them.

shlock brain hurt

not his name.

shamrock going proper mental innit

not even his name.

burt's bees has geared a rebrand around the slogan "burt til it hurts"

dont worry everyone i will save us all at some point

getting my little goblin minions to punch and stab me in the middle of the grocery store to try and whittle me down to half health so i can assume my final boss form and reach the top shelf