This post is going to be very long so I apologize in advance but it is going to be worth the read. I got this 8 page handout from my psychiatrist so I figured I would share it with you guys. Credit goes to whoever originally came up with this.

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines 

Viciously stab an orange 

Throw a pair of socks against the wall 

Have a pillow fight with the wall 

Scream very loudly 

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines 

Go to the gym, dance, exercise 

Listen to music and sing along loudly 

Draw a picture of what is making you angry 

Beat up a stuffed bear

Pop bubble rap 

Pop balloons 

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black 

Throwing darts at a dartboard 

Go for a run 

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up 

Use stress relievers 

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it 

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc 

Brush the fur of a stuffed animal or real animal 

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock 

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself 

Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go 

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture. 

Break sticks 

Cut up fruits 

Make yourself as comfortable as possible 

Stomp around in heavy shoes 

Play handball or tennis 

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, whatever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you are done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water 

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist 

Clap your hands until it stings 

Wax your legs 

Drink freezing cold water 

Splash your face with cold water

Put glue on your hands and then peel it off 

Massage where you want to hurt yourself 

Take a hot shower/bath 

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet 

Write or paint on yourself 

Arm wrestle with a friend or family member 

Take a cold bath 

Bite into a hot pepper 

Alternatives that will distract you or take up your time:

Say “I will self-harm in fifteen minutes if I want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Color your hair 

Count to ten getting louder until you are screaming 

Sing on the karaoke machine 

Complete something you’ve been putting off 

Take up a new hobby 

Make a cup of tea 

Tell and laugh at jokes 

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 

Surf the net 

Make as many words out of your full name as possible 

Count ceiling tiles or lights 

Search ridiculous things on the web

Color coordinate your wardrobe 

Play with toys, such as a slinky 

Go to the park and play on the swings 

Call up an old friend

Do school work 

Play a music instrument 

 Watch TV or a movie 

Paint your nails 

Alphabetize your CDs or books 

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands 

Dress up and try on old clothes 

Doodle on sheets of paper 

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop.

Write out lyrics to your favorite song 

Play a sport 

Read a book/magazine 

Do a crossword 

Draw a comic strip 

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self-harm free using pretty colored paper 

Knit, sew, or make a necklace 

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon 

Go shopping 

Memorize a poem with meaning 

Learn to swear in another language 

Look up words in a dictionary 

Play hide-and-seek with your siblings 

Go outside and watch the clouds roll by 

Plan a party 

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine 

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your mot difficult time of day 

Finish homework before it’s due

Take break from mental processing 

Notice black and white thinking 

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube

Make a scrapbook 

Color in a picture or coloring book 

Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.

Pay attention to your breathing. (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Choose a random object and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can 

Take a small step towards a goal you have

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming 

Laugh for no reason whatsoever 

Make funny faces in a mirror 

Without turning orange, self-tan 

Pluck your eyebrows 

Put faces on apples, oranges, other sorts of food 

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals 

Color on the walls 

Blow bubbles 

Pull weeds in the garden 

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self-harming

Draw or paint 

Look at the sky 

Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming

Call a friend and ask for company 

Buy a cuddly toy 

Give someone a hug with a smile 

Put a face mask on 

Watch a favorite TV show or movie 

Eat something ridiculously sweet 

Remember a happy moment and relive it for awhile in your heard 

Treat yourself to some chocolate 

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do 

Look at things that are special to you 

Compliment someone else 

Make sculptures 

Watch fish 

Let yourself cry 

Play with a pet 

Have or give a massage 

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind 

If you’re religious, read the bible or pray 

Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)

Go chat in a chat room 

Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotions 

Accept a gift from a friend 

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people 

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles 

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and good book 

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with and watch TV or read

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:

“See, hear and feel” - 5 things, then 4, then 3, and count down to one which make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down 

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to 

Meditate or do yoga 

Name all your soft toys 

Do a “reality check list” - write down all the things you can list about where you are now

With permission, give someone a hug 

Drink herbal tea 

Crunch ice 

Hug a tree 

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so 

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive 

Go outside attempt to catch butterflies 

Put your feet firmly on the floor 

Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself u p, only makes it worse 

Touch something familiar/ safe. Leave the room. 

Lay on your back comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest.

Give yourself permission to….(Keep it safe)

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

Think about how you don’t want scars

Treat yourself nicely 

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm 

Create a safe place to go 

Acknowledge that self-harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut (or anything else)”

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it 

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do 

Think about how you may feel guilty after self-harming 

Remind yourself that the urge to self-harm is impulsive: you will only feel like self-harming for short bursts of time 

Avoid temptation 

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut 

Be with other people 

Make your own list of thing to do instead of self-harm 

Make a list of your positive character traits 

Put a Band-Aid  on the area where you’d like to self-harm 

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW 

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe

Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”

Lose the “should-could-have-to” words. Try…. “What if”

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you about yourself and that you don’t want this

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns 

The Butterfly project - draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, given a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love

Write the name of a loved one, or anyone else who cares about you where you want to self-harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself 

Make a bracelet out of duct tape, and put lines on it every day you go without self-harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some people may find this triggering, so view with caution)

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to self-harm 

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo

Draw on the areas you want to self-harm using ice

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them 

Make a collage of how you feel 

Negotiate with yourself 

Identify what is hurting so bad you need to express it in this way 

Write your feelings in a diary 

Free write 

Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life 

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you can relate to 

Call a hotline 

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you don’t want to)

Some of us do endure splitting from reality, paranoia, hallucinations, and delusions from time to time.

I know the tags tend to stick to the topic of our emotional instability, but if you need to vent about a psychotic episode, do it.

⭐️ YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH ⭐️

People with BPD are not inherently abusive

People with BPD are not inherently manipulative

People with BPD are not inherently cruel

You are not a bad person for having BPD

You are not hopeless for having BPD

You are not broken for having BPD

People with BPD can and do recover

People with BPD can and do lead happy, fulfilling lives

Dry shampoo can help freshen your hair up.

Buy a cool hat and make it a part of your look and no one’s gonna notice when your hair is a greasy mess.

Baby wipes can save the day. Wiping your armpits and crotch can do wonders.

A big close knit/heavy/isolating shirt can hold in the smell when you need to be around people on really bad days.

Put on a song while brushing your teeth and brush till the song ends.

Mint pastils and gum can keep your breath fresh on days where you can’t brush your teeth.

Buy some mouthwash for days where brushing your teeth is impossible.

Get a portable speaker and listen to music while you’re showering to make the experience less stressful and more manageable.

Skip a shower by wiping your sweaty places down with a wet cloth or towel with some soap on it and applying lots of deodorant.

Hey anon! I’m not sure when you sent this, but I just got it, so I’m sorry if this is late.

I know I sort of feel like this sometimes.I don’t feel it so much anymore as I used to back when I was first looking into getting mental help. I would have bouts of panic because I felt like I’d be losing a part of me, even tho it wasn’t a Great part of me.

But after like. Going to group therapy a lot and being hospitalized, etc. I realized like. I’m not losing anything. I’m improving on myself. I’m a very passionate, emotional, social person. And by getting help and improving myself, I’m not losing any of that. I’m just working on learning to deal with the negative things about having BPD. I’m learning to cope with things and instead of losing part of yourself….you’re becoming a healthier you. You’re not losing anything, you’re just becoming Better, even if it’s slow going.

Remember that with BPD, it is a personality disorder. Your brain is telling you that without your disorder, you wont know who you are. That’s not true. You’ll still always be you. It’s part of the disorder to feel this way, I think. Stay strong anon~

Are you hydrated? 

If not, have a glass of water. Dehydration can mimic or increase feelings associated with anxiety and a well hydrated brain functions optimally. Avoid excess caffeine. 

Have you eaten in the past three hours? 

Don’t be a victim of hanger! Get some food–something with protein, not just simple carbs or high-fat. Nuts, hummus, and veggies are great options to feed your studying brain. Keep healthy snacks within reach to avoid mindlessly chowing down on sweets. 

Have you stretched your legs in the past day? 

If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy or time for a run or a trip to the gym, just walk around the block or building. Even minimal exercise preps the mind for learning so that you can focus better and recall things easier, plus it’s good to get a change of scenery. 

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day? 

Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine! We bet your study partner would appreciate a compliment. 

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?

If not, jog for the length of a song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around your bedroom for the length of an upbeat song (singing along is a bonus) 

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?

If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends of friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing. 

Have you started or changed any medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? 

That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down. 

If daytime: are you dressed? 

If no, put on clean clothes that aren’t PJs. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress. 

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep? 

Put on PJs, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes while focusing on breathing deeper with every breath- no electronic screens allowed! Adequate sleep is a necessity for stress management. 

Do you feel ineffective? 

Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an email, loading the dishwasher, or tidying up your room. Good job!

Do you feel unattractive? 

Take a darn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look. You are always insta-worthy. 

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?

Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial. 

Have you over-exerted yourself lately–physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually? 

That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking some time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment for a little. Time spent refreshing yourself is never time “wasted!” 

Have you waited a week? 

Sometimes or perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.