Pantastic

I just discovered a band I'd never heard of by finding two of their albums in a mysterious plastic bag in an abandoned school building. Finally, I'm at the start of a fantasy novel

To make things even weirder they're called Vampire Weekend and they appear to be some kind of weird One Direction knock off from 2008? If forced to describe their music I'd say maybe soft rock, but honestly I have no idea. They're kinda good though??

you guys CAN NOT tell me Vampire Weekend was actually popular this is so embarrassing I'm going to take the high dive off a cliff

Please don't let me go down in Tumblr history as the guy who's never heard of Vampire Weekend 😭

Fuck you

#a good way to see if you’re experiencing vision loss

I will forever respect Animorphs for tricking kids who are just really into animals to read a book series by going “Hey you, you daydream about what it’s like to be a dolphin or a bird or a wolf? Have I got a book for you!” and then slowly radicalizing them with 50+ books of “There are no winners in war. Whatever ‘victory’ you perceive comes at the cost of sacrificing your own morals and killing the part of you that is human. In the end you will resort to murder, torture and war crimes and the knowledge of what you have done will haunt you for as long as you live.”

I also respect the author for putting them all online for free

That… that doesn’t happen to y’all?

They bring us the machine...

The… machine… how big is the machine?

You fanfiction people are insane. Y'all will say shit like "I hate writing original fiction, I prefer it when the characters have an established dynamic." And then headcannon the characters to where their dynamic is completely different.

"I like fanfiction because using an established world is a good shorthand for other readers!" And then write shit like "The avengers but they're actually the starving orphaned children of a kindly french barrel maker during the 30 years war."

You've,, you've never read fanfiction???

I read books

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

MAGNIFICENT

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

"my stepdad's wife"

me, your friendly neighborhood villain apologist: zuko was never evil he was just 16

like yeah i know he gets a bonkers good redemption arc but like. he didn’t actually need one because if you give a teenage boy a ship and tell the people on it to listen to him the least you can expect is some attempted murder. that’s not on him at that point

Wait, this originally happened when he was 13 and I’ll tell you that 13 year old me would have committed atrocities.

13yo me would’ve taken the free boat and straight up become a pirate and the fact that Zuko didn’t is really the biggest plot twist in avatar

AU where Zuko just becomes a pirate.

He still sees the light blast and goes to the South Pole but instead of trying to capture aang he rolls up in his free boat like ‘get in losers we’re going to kill my dad’

Yes, this. I like this.

Iroh is just happy he has friends

immediately discussing your past with a new therapist is trauma dumping and is actually toxic because you don’t know if your therapist is mentally ready to receive such heavy information ahahahahhaha no but can you imagine actually arguing this i think it’ll be on tiktok within the year

i too wish i was not the cassandra of my age

For those who aren't aware yet: there was a therapist on TikTok who literally said this. She said she doesn't want her patients to traumadump on the first appointment. A real life therapist.

Thankfully it looks like she’s apparently not a therapist at all, but was using the name of an actual therapist/his workplace, and he has publicly announced that not only does he not /have/ any therapists under his employment (other than himself ofc), but he does not at all condone what she said.

This story just gets wilder. Is there a weirder and more quintessentially TikTok grift than pretending to be an unethical therapist for internet clout?

i see a lot of people saying this or that could kill a medieval peasant or a victorian child, and i feel we need to make an important distinction: medieval peasants watched executions for fun, and had absolutely no spices for their food. victorian children were very sheltered, and had cocaine and opium in every single medicine. a sour skittle could kill a medieval peasant. kin discourse could kill a victorian child.

every time i remember i got to see original cast hadestown live because our city's theatre director tricked everyone into thinking we were a good Broadway practise round, i cackle a little

@queenie-meanie

OP These are genuine works of art and belong on a gallery wall somewhere (I especially like the NOmoji with the O as their mouth and “looking disrespectfully”)

I have absolutely no idea what this is from or any context whatsoever, but I cannot stop laughing