Mischief Managed

when I was a kid my mom had to intervene and make me stop saying “farewell” instead of “goodbye” because elderly relatives complained that it sounded like I expected them to die before I could see them again

I once described myself as “very queer indeed” on a school assignment, long before I ever figured that I am, indeed, very queer, in every sense of the word.

You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

This one wins.

IT GOT BETTER

I’m about to make a terrible decision.

Turns out the flavors cancel each other out, and the whole thing tastes like nothing.

hey man what the fuck

that was God shielding you

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

Please don’t hesitate

1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS… I see what you did there

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $13,999.99

THE SWIVEL OF THAT BUTT THO

Not all heroes wear capes

My favorite thing on Tumblr are translated Russian cats.

can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything

PLEASE TURN YOUR SOUND ON

MOTHER LET ME FIGHT

I am fucking crying

THIS is the best post ever. 

THIS.

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD ITEM ACTUALLY

I am going to gift this to one of my players as a legendary item. No joke. This will make his year.

my computer is black and blue…. not black and red….. it’s a Fake Gamers

This black and red shit has to stop. The true gamer colors have been and always will be black and green. Black representing the exile and pain a gamer goes through, and green representing the mountain dew all true gamers pump directly into their bloodstream.

the red represents mountain dew code red, you fool

The blue represents mountain dew voltage, you are all true gamers

im valid???

you are valid