Two-Headed Boy

i'm so tired of social media users saying "successful people are abusing stimulants". unsuccessful people are too. #WEMATTER

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

good news. the things that used to upset me no longer upset me. bad news. i'm creating an army of bugs to hurt innocent bystanders

imagine coming home and your mom found your steampunk clothes and shes just there with her arms crossed

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

you guys do realise walking doesn't actually move you anywhere right? it just destroys you entirely and places a perfect copy of you right in front of where you were standing

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can