🌧🌧🌧

y'know what? the stained glass window designers had the right idea, we need more angels with kaleidoscope wings.

“Americans believe in big portions! That’s so crazy.” Look at this European getting scammed into paying for 100 calories worth of food. Fool. Idiot. You wish you could have this 16 ounce Big Gulp and this serving of rice I will eat off for three days but you can’t. Cope and seethe.

I also love watching Italians get mad at Italian American food. You’re cranky because your hungry, aren’t you? Cranky because you don’t get that delicious olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dip your bread in before meals? Cranky because your pizza kinda sucks?

who has that one post that’s like “americans will lightly rib british people for their accents and brits will be like ‘your children will die in a school shooting’“

Wait I have another one sorry

me when im giving birth to my twins

stop posting this kinda shit my vestigial fish brain wanna go home

I fill my pockets with rocks and walk into the sea, but all it does it pull my pants down and I float harmlessly and pantslessly to the surface

AMAZING 🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lets hear it for Malicious Compliance

*filming literal mold* “There is a bit of a damp problem…” The signs saying “DON’T BUY THIS” are a beautiful touch.

ppl are always like oh if i went back in time i would teach them all about electricity. well, i don’t know about electricity. i don’t know how to build a michaelwave. i would be the stupidest motherfucker in the 16th century. i wouldn’t know who the king is. i don’t know how to use a tinderbox. i can’t ride a horse. the only good thing about me is my immunity to super mega smallpox

Yiu to are not smallpox immune a.

can you guys just give me a break. i just found out i’m not immune to smallpox