Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Product Placement
izzy's playlists!
trying on a metaphor
Kiana Khansmith
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Show & Tell
Andulka
Sade Olutola
ojovivo
One Nice Bug Per Day
YOU ARE THE REASON
will byers stan first human second
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
KIROKAZE
pixel skylines
todays bird
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@blurplejeep
for @blurplejeep! the idea is that omegas get gifted all kinds of jewelry from friends, family, partners.
this is the cropped version for safety's sake. uncropped on my @hyceate-nsfw blog or ao3. ✌️
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
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A drunk Ilya who posts "the cutest" picture of his husband. Shane in ilyas centaurs jersey, it's big on him and it would maybe be fine if Shane weren't looking up at the camera hair mussed, hickeys littering his neck, visibly sex drunk and gazing up at Ilya with the most profound set of bottom eyes ever witnessed on a human being.
Ilya spent the following week on the couch.
His stay was extended because he couldn't stop crowing about the fact that this incredibly hot man, Shane Hollander, was his and that no one else got to touch.
headcanon that like his son, david hollander too can also stare at his partner with big doe eyes and get what he wants. it’s rare for ilya to see it but the first time he does he points aggressively and goes “YOU!!! is your fault i never win an argument!!!!” david just blinks while yuna nods solemnly and tells ilya that unfortunately shane learned from the best
just drawing chains that no one will ever get to see in detail in final because I'm resizing 4k to 1080p for uploads.
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.
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Just a cute little ficlet series about Alpha Ilya buying Omega Shane jewelry and never giving it to him.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
i think i've posted this before, but ilya truly does deserve an award for his patience after getting woken up at fuck o'clock at the cottage for a five year plan strategy session when he was in the middle of a rem cycle.
like the way he asked "what is nur-ate-iv?" makes me think man TRULY was not catching all of the words getting tossed at him so fast the second his eyes were even a LITTLE open. like he wasn't asking "what story did you come up with?" he's asking "what word are you even saying to me right now?" man got like 0.2 seconds to be like "oh i'm awake now?" before he was getting PELTED with english because shane had a forty step plan that couldn't wait like. three more hours.
i would have hit him with a pillow and said let's circle back, so kudos to ilya.
this does make me think that if they have kids, ilya is going to be the default parent getting woken up for "i frew up"
in my heart, shane sleeps like a ROCK and is also non-functional if his sleep schedule is disrupted
so papa is the one getting little hands patting at his face at 3 am because his sleep isn't safe from daddy OR the kids
this also does mean that shane rarely wakes up in a bed with the same number of people it had when he fell asleep
either ilya is completely mia because he went to lay down with whatever kiddo came to get him and then fell asleep in their bed without meaning to, or shane wakes up to little feet pushing into his kidney or a little fist tucked under his arm or a kiddo sprawled sideways over him AND ilya in a way that canNOT be comfortable
shane always handles getting everyone put together and fed breakfast, but the first step of every morning routine is just a headcount to find out where everyone ended up overnight
okay another thing about my dinner with hayden is that ilya is being good and hayden is immediately like “this guy is evil” and then ilya makes a sex joke about shane (his boyfriend of a year and a half) and hayden is like visibly disgusted and then ilya’s supposed to be the bigger guy? just because shane’s best friend is homophobic?? yeah. okay.
i believe that one of the penalties shane gets a lot is unsportsmanlike conduct. in the nhl, this penalty can be issued for players who argue or challenge the refs calls. now, captains are allowed to discuss a call and rule interpretations with a ref, but you gotta be cordial.
shane “hockeytism” hollander HATES when a ref makes a bad call. this is literally your job and youre fucking it up?? that was not slashing are you blind?? he gets heated about this, even when he’s just watching a random game. he’s shouting and cursing and making a well-informed case for why the ref is wrong.
hockey refs are notoriously bad so i guarantee shane gets into it a lot. i do think he knows when to quit so he doesnt get an unnecessary penalty but sometimes the call is so bad he cant help but be furious. his teammates have had to physically restrain him on the bench multiple times so he didnt hop the boards and scream at them.
unreasonably amused by the idea of itty bitty shane not wanting to get off the ice after practice to the point that david gets ON the ice to get him, so itty bitty does the "my bones are gone now" resistance move kids are so good at.
but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.
like stage your protest all you want, buddy, but you have literally never been more move-able.
Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"
It doesn't help David and Yuna that everyone and their mother thinks this is the funniest, cutest thing ever and laughs, just spurring Shane to do it more and more.
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I like to imagine Rose’s brothers gave her shit for not sticking it out with Shane Hollander long enough for him to meet the family then when they find out it’s because Shane is gay they give her shit for not passing him along to one of them and she’s like??? you’re not gay??? to which they’re like !!!! everyone’s gay for Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov ain’t special
HR scenes as a pride flag
shane always getting spoken to growing up about how he needs to be making sure he wears clothes around the house bc hes always got just a pair of underwear on and he doesnt fuckingggg want to wear those shorts mom they feel GROSS against his thighs!!!!!!! him always giving annoyed looks to grown ups that dare speak to him about this. shane rolling his eyes after years of hearing the same thing over and over and then one day hes so sick of hearing about how he doesnt even dress normally in his own home that he starts wearing "normal" clothes and hes so fucking overstimulated but whatever if hes home alone he can dress how he wants but he will dress more accordingly to when others are around.
anyways cut to shane being so ufcking comfortable around ilya that he stops wearing clothes around him other than like maybe a pair of his fav underwear at MOST and ilya is broken brained staring at shane like holy fucking shit you just are hiding this all for years and now we live together and you love being naked other than underwear???? HOW DOES HE SURVIVEEEE
INSANE actually!!!
thinking about shane and ilya at some nhl alumni event years in the future….their relationship is old news and literally no one bats an eyelash at them anymore plus they’re staying in some penthouse suite where nobody can hear them but anyway ilya is fucking shane through the mattress and covers his mouth with one hand like “shush hollander you’re going to get us caught” and shane comes so hard he blacks out
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ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal
ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in the mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
