Lost in the Deepspace

✏️ BLOG'S MASTERLIST

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This post collects all my writings so they're easier to find. 💌

WRITING FOR...

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“Like Blood in the Water” [crowfish series];

🔗 RELATED TO THIS AU... “The Sixth of March” →[Rafayel's bday special]; “Welcome to the dragon's den” →[domestic fluff - oneshot]; “Three crows and a fish” →[prelude to Sylus' bday special]; “A Special Day of April” →[Sylus' bday special]; “An Intruder in the Onychinus Base” →[crack fluff - oneshot];

“I'll tenderly love even the parts of you that you learned to hide” [Rafayel x MC oneshot];

“Loving all of you” [Rafayel x MC ↑ follow-up];

“Let it bloom like a garden of peonies” [Sylus x MC - (inspired) Mortality's Tenderness AU];

“When properly qualified” [Sylus x MC - (Dark Academia) University AU];

[...]

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TALKING ABOUT...

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Caleb's relationship with MC → pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3;

“Vesperine Glimmer” review;

funny headcanon about Sylus' “Kitten Included” outfit;

[...]

[ASKS & SUBMISSIONS are open❣️]

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♟️Masterlist

☑︎ I CHAPTER: Quality Check ➢ first observation, first attention; ◻︎ II CHAPTER: Magpie Library ➢ curiosity & intellectual hunger; ◻︎ III CHAPTER: Finished Assignment ➢ recognition & temptation; ◻︎ IV CHAPTER: Spiderweb ➢entanglement & danger; ◻︎ V CHAPTER: Curriculum Vitae ➢ identity, distance, return.

☕️ I CHAPTER: QUALITY CHECK ➢ first observation, first attention.

Transferring to another university mid-semester might’ve been odd and kind of reckless. Usually, students fought to avoid disrupting their academic rhythm… but Rei needed a drastic change. Things didn’t go as she had expected, and the disappointment mixed with a sense of failure encouraged her to make such a decision.

The surroundings were stranger to her but the winter season offered some familiarity with its black, empty tree branches aiming at the grey sky and its cold wind that seeped through the thick clothes. Just like the paths towards the lectures were different but the classrooms where they were taken were lookalike -a small podium for a heavy desk before the wall-projector and bleachers of seats all around.

In her new study program, there was Criminal Behaviour Psychology and she attended her first lecture, despite the course being halfway through its program. She sat in the third row, among her peers, and curiously she witnessed the lecture unfolding.

Dr. Qin was renowned in the field to be a prodigy, but there were a lot of conflicting rumours about his life. Some people said that he had been actually a ruthless mobster who became a collaborator of justice and was now redeeming himself through his teaching career. Others still doubted the cleanliness of his record due to the lack of confirmed information about his past. Nevertheless, everybody agreed to the fact that his syllabus was brutal, his exams were demanding, and his lectures were the kind that left students equal parts fascinated and unnerved.

In fact, not even twenty minutes past the beginning of his lecture, Rei had already filled three pages of her notebook. Her wrist hurt slightly as she wrote nonstop but her mind was too busy absorbing the new material to really care.

This was what she had been longing for: stepping out of the class with a headache and a myriad of questions, curiosity lingering long after the lecture had ended.

However, she got caught by surprise when Professor Qin directly asked her to join the debate about the day’s topic. The pen stilled in her hand as her mind went through the observations her peers had already made, and after a moment, she shared her opinion on the matter. But Professor Qin interrupted her with a short gesture of his hand, leaving her reasoning unfinished, and wrapped things up with a monologue.

Her jaw clenched shut and she took a deep breath to ignore the burning feeling inside her. Of course, he must be an arrogant person who just likes hearing himself talk… she thought as she rolled her eyes and went back to write notes, even if her enthusiasm got severely dimmed.

Maybe due to the stress of being a week in and realising that she had to catch up with so many things, maybe due to the newness of everything around her… One afternoon she forgot her notebook behind. 

It had never happened to her before, because she cared way too much about her notes. But that day she had to do an exam for Foreign Literature -and while it was expected for her peers, it had been a challenge to her- so she practically sprinted out of Criminal Behaviour Psychology lecture to not be late. She realised the forgetfulness when she packed her stuff at the end of the exam.

The spacious hallways were almost completely desolated since everyone was leaving to have dinner, and the yellow lights were on because outside the sky was already dark. Her footsteps echoed in the quietness as she headed in the classroom to retrieve her notebook, hoping that the janitor hadn’t closed it yet.

Luckily, she found the doors open and she stepped inside only to pause at the entrance. Beside the wooden desk, Professor Qin stood with a dark coat draped over one arm and his glasses still perched on his nose. He looked like he was just getting ready to leave, but then she noticed her notebook on his desk.

His crimson eyes found hers instantly, carrying the usual stoic and unreadable expression that seemed prone to assess everything with sharp precision.

“First week, and already forgetting things?” He said, his voice low and smooth like mist curling in the air with deliberate and inescapable slowness. 

His words scratched her ego, and Rei cursed herself internally for having forgotten her notebook right in his classroom. Still, she bowed her head to apologise both for the intrusion and the accident.

“I’m sorry. It doesn't happen to me usually,” she replied, her tone calm and polite, before stepping forward to retrieve her notebook.

Professor Qin didn’t even acknowledge her apology and watched her approach with unnerving stillness. The room felt different now that it was emptied of its usual crowd, and his presence was impossibly more authoritative to face.

“Stress-” he broke the silence, lifting his hand to take off his glasses and slip them into his breast pocket carefully. “-is not an excuse in my class, Miss. It’s a variable. One you’ll need to learn to control, if you intend to survive here.”

Rei picked up her notebook from the desk with slow movements and held it between her hands, picking up an edge into his tone that asked for her full attention. When he pointed out her stressed condition, her pride bristled at his subtle accusation masked behind an offered “lesson of life”.

“Tell me. What made you transfer here mid-semester, sacrificing consistency in your academic rhythm?”

Instead of retorting his previous observations and risking sounding like a sensitive little girl -who she definitely wasn’t-, she preferred answering his question. It was legitimate curiosity for a professor to question a student’s scholarly decision, after all.

“The university I came from didn’t offer the quality I expected in both courses and professors. I decided to transfer here, hoping the high reputation matches the expectations.”

Something flickered in those crimson eyes and the corner of his mouth twitched, barely perceptible. Not quite amusement, but she was sure to have stirred his interest with her answer.

“Quality…” the word rolled off his tongue with a deliberate slowness that suggested Professor Qin was dissecting it. “Careful, Miss. Expectation is the fastest way to disappointment.”

But that was nothing new to Rei.

He shifted his weight, leaning against the desk beside him, and his head tilted slightly to the side as he looked at her with quiet intensity. The casual movement made him seem larger somehow -filling the space between them with subtle authority that could’ve spurred anyone to step back. But not her.

With stubborn defiance, she didn’t divert her eyes from his and remained still in place, the notebook weighing between her hands. 

“I’ll give you credit for honesty. Most transfers feed me some rehearsed lines about academic opportunity or pursuing their passion…” His tone took on a mocking lilt at those last words before returning to its usual controlled cadence.

“You came here because you were bored. That’s refreshing, at least.”

Behind him, the desk lamp cast shadows across the room and made his features sharper as he studied her. The scrutiny in his gaze sharpened, as though he were mentally filing away every reaction she gave him.

“Since you’re so concerned with quality… what did you think of today’s lecture?” He challenged her with a trap wrapped in velvet.

“You were quiet. Observing, perhaps. Or simply… unimpressed?”

However, Rei understood that he was purposely putting her in a difficult position and she refused to let him have his way this time. 

“Today’s lecture offered different points for reflection, so I chose to listen carefully and take some notes instead of interrupting.” Her voice didn’t waver as she remained composed and polite in front of his scrutiny. And instead of playing his game, she left him hanging: 

“I’d like to do some research about behavioural patterns in high stress decision making situations… but of course, if I have questions, I’ll let you know, Professor Qin.”

She had to hold back a satisfied grin when she saw him straightening his posture, as if he hadn’t expected her to challenge him right back. 

He let a weighted silence stretch between them, testing how she handled the space -whether she’d rush to fill it with unnecessary words or understand that sometimes silence was its own form of communication. And he realised that yes, she knew how poignant a pause could be.

“Office hours are Tuesdays and Thursdays, four to six.” He informed her, finally pushing himself off from the desk and grabbing his briefcase, his movements economical and controlled as if he couldn’t allow himself to waste more energy than strictly necessary.

“If you’re going to research behavioural patterns, you’ll need access to the restricted section of Magpie Library. I can arrange that. But I don’t hand out favours for free, Miss.” Glancing over his shoulder, his crimson eyes found hers with unnerving accuracy.

“You’ll present your findings to me first, before you incorporate them into any assignments. Consider it-” a pause, then he turned to face her fully again. “-quality control. You wanted standards. I’m offering them.”

Professor Qin spoke like the offer was going to scare her away, when Rei was actually jumping from excitement inside. She had visited Magpie Library and the restricted section had made her wonder how she could ever be granted the access. This was her chance, both to prove herself to him and to discover what kind of books were kept there.

“Can you handle that, or should I save us both the trouble?”

“I can handle that,” she answered without hesitation, confident in her ability to do a great job with her research and pass his quality control check.

He hummed lowly and reached into the front pocket of his briefcase to pick a small, cream coloured card embossed with the university seal.

“Then we have an understanding. This grants you after-hours access to the restricted section,” he held the card between two fingers and extended it towards her. But before she could take it, he cared to add:

“Valid for two weeks. Show it to the night attendant, Mr. Shen. A word of advice, Miss...” his voice dropped lower, taking on a conspiratorial quality that ensured she was paying attention. “The restricted section contains case studies -real ones. The kind of material that requires a certain constitution and most importantly, discretion.”

Nodding in understanding, Rei took the card and held it carefully between her fingers, considering it a precious treasure. She was aware that having access to the restricted section of Magpie Library meant being responsible about the sensitive materials that were kept there.

“I’ll be mindful of your advice, Professor.”

“When you return with your findings, don’t waste my time with surface-level observations. I want to know what you think, not what you’ve memorised from someone else’s conclusion.”

Rei tucked the library pass safely inside her notebook and took it as her cue to leave. After a quick, polite bow as her farewell, she headed for the door and left Professor Qin behind -the click of the desk lamp being turned off echoing in the distance.

As she walked through the maze of hallways toward the dormitory, a satisfied smile curled her lips.

Maybe I made the right choice after all… she thought, looking forward to tomorrow.

Magpie Library suddenly didn't seem large enough to contain all the questions she wanted answered.

[If you're interested in reading more of my works, you can go check my masterlist!]

“Once she had a clearer mind, she thought about everything that had happened and made a decision. Sometimes, making the right choice was the most difficult thing... but she was confident in her strength and morality to take her own responsibilities.”

[Dark Academia] University AU ☕️

Strangers to Lovers [minor] Age Gap Slow Burn Angst Right Person, Wrong Time

♟️Masterlist

☑︎ I CHAPTER: Quality Check ➢ first observation, first attention; ◻︎ II CHAPTER: Magpie Library ➢ curiosity & intellectual hunger; ◻︎ III CHAPTER: Finished Assignment ➢ recognition & temptation; ◻︎ IV CHAPTER: Spiderweb ➢entanglement & danger; ◻︎ V CHAPTER: Curriculum Vitae ➢ identity, distance, return.

[If you're interested in reading more of my works, you can go check my masterlist!]

Honestly? That's so sweet!!

He looks genuinely happy, and it's a heartwarming sight after all the angst and the complications his character usually brings to the table! 😂🧡

OH

THANK GOD!!

FINALLY!!

THIS FLOWER

THIS MONSTER OF HYBRIDISATION

GAVE ME NIGHTMARES!!

It's been like... almost a month? 😭 I managed to get all the hybridisations except this peach-pink cosmos that -damn! At least the other flowers have different colours and not merely shades!!

🎎 Masterlist

⚈ Prologue; ⚈ Chapter I; ⚈ Chapter II; ⚆ Chapter III; ⚆ Chapter IV; ⚆ ...

🎏CHAPTER I

Letting Pei Zhi step into the Onychinus estate was an act of pure convenience. No generosity moved his heart nor lust to own a young princess by his side. Qin Che had always been a lone wolf, and with a sword weighing in his hand, harbouring tender feelings was only a weakness the enemy could exploit.

The truth was that he had enough of the mistresses trying to slip into his bed, of his subordinate advisors lecturing him about the importance of producing an heir. So when he heard about a noble family that had fallen in disgrace indebted themselves with his loan sharks but their insatiable greed had brought them to offer even their daughter in exchange for settling their debts, only to ask if they could still trust him to lend them his money… Well, the case stirred his attention.

He considered the benefits and the risks that came with an arranged marriage, and he came up with a final decision. Her figure could finally put an end to all the annoyances he was suffering lately and since there wasn’t any feeling between them, he could keep going with his life like always -fighting in battlefields and defending the large territories he possessed. 

But Pei Zhi turned out to be a different kind of princess than he had expected. There was a stubborn defiance shining in her eyes, even when the ring he slid onto her finger felt no different from a shackle around her ankle. She reminded him of the toughest war prisoners who didn’t lower their heads despite having been defeated.

Though, she didn’t try to lure him with her looks the first night as a married couple. She took off her wedding dress immediately, as if the fabric had stung her pale skin, and wearing the most modest nightgown, she lay down in the farthest corner of the bed giving him her back.

Not even once she complained about her new surroundings and simply adjusted to his estate’s habits. He didn’t hear a bad word about her behaviour from the head maid he had instructed to serve her either.

She was polite, silent and respectful.

But not pliant or submissive, he noticed and accepted it.

After all, her presence was doing a good job to keep away bothersome mistresses from aiming at him and when his subordinate advisors attempted to talk her about an heir, she cut them off with a simple sentence:

“I cannot bear children.” 

He didn’t know if it was true or not, but he didn’t care. He declined his subordinate advisors suggesting him to disavow her, making clear that he wouldn’t ever renounce anything of his possession.

Pei Zhi almost came as an unexpected blessing to him.

But Qin Che wasn’t the type who could be easily fooled, and he kept maids and servants around her to understand her real reasons.

Nobody could report him anything significant, though. His servitude called her “Lady Pei” and fawned at her gentleness, happy that their Master’s wife wasn’t difficult or cruel towards them. 

Qin Che found it irritating. 

One day, the chance he was waiting to prove her “innocence” finally arrived when Pei Zhi knocked at the door of his office. She confessed that she was bored with spending her days lounging around the estate without doing anything, so she asked him if he needed help with his duties.

He assigned her to sort through his letters and order them according to priority, and she did.

He articulated letter after letter to send back, and her fingers typed on the writing machines with the same effortless confidence she held a fountain pen. 

He tempted her curiosity by leaving sensitive documents on his desk unattended, but she had never reached for them.

He tested her further by bringing her to business meetings with him, but she was mindful to speak when asked and defend his interests during the deals.

Against all the expectations, Pei Zhi was intelligent, capable and loyal.

Qin Che couldn’t find fault with her character.

She was an incredible woman to have close by…

And unconsciously Qin Che expected her to be there when he studied the future battle maps in his office, sitting at his desk to do resumes about the financial situation of the estate for him. Or standing next to him as they attended high-rank social gatherings for business profits, never latching on his arm like everybody's wife but close enough to make clear who she had come with.

And even if he wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, something inside his chest swelled with pride whenever he caught people glancing in their direction with envious curiosity.

Without mentioning how exhilarating it was having her speak up and stand their ground, after receiving a slight nod of his head as the permission for taking care about it. He recognised the fear and offence in the eyes of those arrogant nobles when he entered into a room, and the way her quiet confidence was able to unsettle them too was entertaining for him.

Pei Zhi presented herself as his equal.

And Qin Che didn't find himself as annoyed as he had expected to be.

Before he realised what was happening, it was too late. Even his servitude caught up with the change of their Master's habits.

He didn’t ask anymore if the “Princess” could meet him in the office after the maids finished helping her get ready for the day.

But he referred to her as “Lady Pei”.

And since they began spending more time together, Pei Zhi started to use his name as well after the honorific, calling him “Master Qin”.

He didn’t hear a word of gossip slip from any of his servants’ lips. Though, he was aware when a maid lingered around a minute longer after bringing them tea or when a sentinel's gaze followed them from a distance as they discussed deals while walking in the courtyard. 

He ignored them secretly rooting for a married couple that didn't act as married at all. It didn't affect the quality of their job, and most of the time they informed him about Pei Zhi's whereabouts before he could ask himself… so it was convenient.

Or so he believed... until one evening, they were invited to a dinner reception in the estate of a noble family that invested in deals with him.

He had to leave Pei Zhi with the other women because the matter he needed to discuss with the host required the maximum discretion. But something he couldn’t exactly figure out kept him on edge since they arrived, and he had felt almost reluctant to have her out of his sight. 

“Wealth is no longer a concern of yours…”

The host’s wife commented sharply -an old woman who still possessed an elegant beauty, despite the silver strands striking among her long, dark hair perfectly styled in an intricate ponytail.

The noble woman knew about Pei Zhi’s background because they had a friendly relationship with her family before their fall of grace. She had been waiting for the whole evening to cut the fleeting gossip of the other guests and have the chance to talk to the former princess.

“I suggest you then buy a title and restore your lost nobility.”

The words were said with deliberate slowness, letting the offence poison the carefree conviviality around them, and they managed to break the always-so-calm expression of Pei Zhi.

It was the lowest insult she had ever received, not only because it portrayed her inappropriately as a social climber but also because the lack of title -in their arrogant eyes- nullified her own character. 

The noblemen were just returning from their private conversation to join the other guests in the main room and they witnessed the scene. For the first time, Qin Che saw her eyebrows furrow in indignation and her posture tense in barely restrained anger.

His body acted before his mind could stop him.

“There’s no more need for titles,” his voice came out as cold and sharp as a blade while in a few, long strides he took his place by Pei Zhi’s side and his hand instinctively rested on the small of her back.

He backed her up both physically and verbally, outrightly challenging the noble woman with a gaze full of spite.

“She is my wife now.”

The sentence was a simple fact but held the power and ruthlessness he was renowned and feared for. Because having his name put next to hers meant that she belonged to him, and he wouldn’t ever allow anyone to mar her and by extension, himself.

He realised only after at the end of the night, when they were returned to Onychinus estate, what he had just done.

Looking at Pei Zhi sitting in front of the mirror and unhurriedly undoing her braid, he felt something heavy on his chest. 

It had been the second time he referred to her as his “wife” -the first time had been during vows exchange.

She hadn’t ever called him “husband” since then, and him noticing this insignificant detail got him thinking.

Did he want to hear her say it and see what kind of effect it had on himself?

Or rather—was he curious to know whether hearing him openly claim her as his wife had affected her... even a little?

[Taglist: @lostinficanya - ... ]

[If you're interested in reading more of my works, you can go check my masterlist!]