Lazy misanthropic porn tart.

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Same Adorable round creature, a couple years later:

And when he decides to engage in a Romantic Duel:

Some fun facts about the Elephant Seal:

Roughly the same shape and size as Jabba The Hutt and Five Times as Horny

can move at 30ft per second on land which is way faster than you think and a lot faster than most of you can sprint

known to attack and kill great white sharks

Dives over a mile under water and stays down there for an hour and a half, presumably because the frozen darkness resembels whatever hell dimension it came out of

Male and Femal elephant Seal skulls, compared with a Grizzly bear Skull:

There are many picturees of people standing irrespeonsibly close to Elephant seals, presumably before being mauled and mashed to death, so we’re going to use this image of an average-sized woman and an educational statue:

Fuck That.

Don’t approach wildlife kids, but SUPER don’t approach any kind of marine mammal because they are HUGE and FURIOUS and FULL OF TEETH AND MALICE.

there’s only one possible outcome

jar jar binks is dumb, respects women, and is considered hot enough to land the queen of bardotta

Nothing quite like watching a dog having a good time 

Witcher dads have strong hearts and strong arms