Shane autistically lacks a mouth filter x100 times more than in canon-AU. Everybody thinks he's joking. He's not.
Shane: (talks about his hookup with Ilya in front of the team in extensive detail)
Voyageurs/Metros: (hysterically) Dude you should do stand-up comedy gods this is hilarious
Shane: (small smile) Aw that's nice 🙂
Voyageurs/Metros: Hey let's go drink beers, pick up some girls.
Shane: I'd rather go home and fuck my dildo.
Voyageurs/Metros: looooool
Scott: What did Rozanov want?
Shane: Told me his room number. Apparently he liked my blowjob skills.
Hayden: Hey who are you texting? Hell of a girl if she makes you smile like that!
Shane: Oh it's Ilya Rozanov. Begs for sex, sends nudes. You know, the usual.
Hayden: Lol ok keep your secrets.
JJ: If Rozanov fucks you, I fuck him right back
Shane: I am not sure I am ready for a threesome.
JJ: LOL bro you are so funny
Shane: (face-off) Why do you think it's ok to sext me before the game? Do you want to see me play with a hard-on or something?
Ilya: (literally drops the stick)
Everybody: Damn Hollzy that's wild
Shane: (wins the face-off)
Reporters: Could you say your rivalry with Rozanov got a new spin this season?
Shane: (caught off guard) I don't think "rivals" is a correct term actually.
Reporters: Oh, and how would you call it?
Ilya: (facepalming himself into the void, dying inside)
Entries: Rozanov trolls all the NHL active players, but Hollander one-ups him like a champ
Shane: Ok, clear this up for me: are we like really dating?
Ilya: That's a downgrade, what happened to hockey husbands?
Shane: Well I guess you're right, that's on me. Do you want a ring?
Shane: I think it's time to add Ilya to the WAG's chat.
Jackie: Gods this is the best trolling I've ever witnessed
Sveta: Hollander still trolls you and you haven't come up with any suitable comeback, that's tame, what happened to you?
Ilya: He has zero mouth filter. Lucky nobody seems to believe him.
Sveta: Well then. You can flirt back at him I guess? It could be "your thing".
Reporters: Still no comments about Hollander's hockey husbands joke?
Ilya: He's getting ahead of himself. Where is my ring, Hollander?!
JJ: Your Rozanov trademark trolling inspired rpfers, look at this. (shows AO3 page with Hollanov)
Shane: Interesting. (registers on AO3, starts commenting like "ooc, actually I like to suck dick" and "this seems cool, gotta try, thanks!")
Yuna: Son. You need to go to media training again.
Yuna: Some of your jokes are a bit... too much for your personal brand.
Yuna: Well ongoing joke about your relationship with Rozanov is topping it, you even got him a ring!
Shane: ??? It's not a joke?