twice as many stars

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

Y'all ever think of what the person responsible for Rocky's voice bank must've felt when those videos finally got to earth? Imagine doing a voice acting gig for a bank voice on a computer or whatever that you eventually completely forget about, only for it to one day come back to you when the FIRST intellectual alien lifeform that a human being has ever met decides to use it as their chosen voice. The mild horror. The exhilaration. The emotional punch. This is it. This is your magnum opus. You have given a human voice to a sentient rock and it will NEVER get better than this. Also, they picked you over MERYL STREEP?!?!

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

Do you think tumblr will ever learn the difference between “I’m defending this person because I agree with them wholeheartedly and I am also like this person” and “I’m defending this person because your behavior is dangerous and you need to stop”

In ancient Egypt, they hadn’t invented “shitting” yet, so instead people just died if they had to go to the bathroom.

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

sorry man, i just looked that movie up on doestheantdie.com and...let's just watch something else, ok?

it’s very simple. either you respect chihuahuas or i kill you

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too