blitzkrieged

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

"subtext" and "buttsex" being anagrams of each other is an example of order and harmony in the universe

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

i be like “it is what it is” then be pissed off for like 4 years

you are my mutual and to some extent my wife

"i miss him" says girl about the fictional guy she thinks about every hour of every day

who thinks 👍 is passive aggressive i read it as an old timey mobster going "on it boss"

Whenever I use thumbs up I'm sticking my hand out from under a pile of rubble, too exhausted to speak, but signalling I'm okay

I’m tapping the feed to acknowledge the message like Murderbot

I use 👍in text exactly how I use it in meatspace: I concur in a way I am too autistic to put into words worth you consuming. "This response could have been an emoji" ass conversations you know. Say less 👍