blindmanbaldwin

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

we're just normal men

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

i don’t usually find “[x character] has committed war crimes” jokes all that funny because they usually forget that what makes a war crime a war crime instead of a regular offense is that it’s happening during a declared war. i’m rewatching avatar though and nothing brings me more pleasure to be able to say shit like “sokka has canonically broken the geneva convention” and have it actually check out

I fuck wit title-only text posts. this shit is like talkin in an apartment hallway loud as fuck out the window

My alone time is for everyone’s safety

Young Cathy and Heathcliff find a half staved unconscious Jane Eyre on the moors and poked her with a stick to see if she's dead. She isn't roused by their proding and they don't care enough to try and help her so it isn't mentioned in either book.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things ?

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

‘did the journal factory explode’ shut the fuck up. I do actually want to know the mundane little things about my friends’ lives! I want to know that your cat just did a big stretch, and you’re cramming for finals, and you’re getting tacos from your favorite food truck for dinner! I like hearing about your day!!!

Actually, on that note! Tell me something about your day! Tell me you saw an interestingly shaped cloud or ate a particularly good apple for lunch or are looking forward to watching your favorite show after work tonight!

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

think about how shitty a boyfriend yogi bear would be. “hey today let’s steal a picnic basket” hey today let’s do literally anything else, yogi. fuck you

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

assigning Scully to the X-files was the funniest thing the US government ever did because imagine you send this logical, rule-following scientist to spy on the Basement Weirdo but instead they fall in love and soul-bond so intensely that it’s actually a legitimate threat to national security. all the super-important super-evil government conspiracies are at risk because you (the US government) accidentally pulled the best matchmaking job in history and now they’re so in love and oh shit they’re breaking into another top-secret facility, they’re discovering evidence of another war crime, they’re gazing longingly into each other’s eyes next to a crashed ufo and it’s all your fucking fault