harold, they're shapeshifters

the thing about mothers in fiction is that a lot of fandoms seem to be under the impression that the worst thing a woman can possibly do is be a bad mother. like they can forgive deadbeat dads easily but the moment a woman is a bad or even mediocre mother she's the devil incarnate to them. and then you're like "i like her and i think she's interesting" and they immediately go "oh so you think it's okay to be a bad mother (which is the most evil thing a woman can be)". and don't even get me started on how they react to female characters who are bad stepmothers

there's an old anne rice interview circulating on twitter rn that i remember reading ages ago where she makes a pretty salient point about how submissive men who have bdsm fantasies etc will go to a sex worker and basically order the ala carte version of their fantasy to be performed in real life but women don't really have that same option and certainly not at the same point of availability so they read her horny books instead. and honestly that argument has been in the back of my mind every time people get on their high horses about the popularity of booktok romantasy novels or heated rivalry or whatever the "women are horny and we're upset about that" cultural property du jour is ever since. women, especially straight women, have so few outlets for their sexual desires, especially if they have a partner who doesn't share them, and i will never understand why "someone ELSE'S private sexual fantasy makes me uncomfortable and therefore they should not be allowed to engage with it, even if i am in no way being affected by it or even aware of it at all" is such a popular party line among allegedly progressive young people.

“women, especially straight women have so few outlets” so what exactly do you think lesbians have? like why does it always come back to straight women???

literally where are all these outlets for lesbian sexuality the op lives around

i'm literally a lesbian and while i've explained this several times, my point in this framing is that i do not have the same fears for my safety when engaging in NSA sex and hookup culture that straight women en masse have to contend with. if i want to meet a woman off an app and hook up after some basic vetting, i can be reasonably certain that if we're not vibing or the chemistry is off, i can leave safely and nothing bad will happen to me. i don't have to tell 6 people where i'm going and set up a bunch of check-ins and code words for my personal safety. straight women do. i have a reasonable spread of outlets for my sexuality as a dyke in a major east coast city but more importantly, i *do* feel luckier and better-off in this regard when compared to straight women who have to take far greater measures to ensure their personal safety and it takes away nothing from me to admit this. i'm a gay woman who has empathy for women who don't have the option to just withdraw from interacting with men while still getting their sexual and romantic needs met, cope and seethe about it i guess

Tiffany problem: “cardboard” is not anachronistic for a Dickensian setting but it feels like it would be

They got cardboard in Wuthering Heights

“If you watched her bounce on my strap you would think twice about calling pillow princesses lazy” okay but do you still want the pillow princess if they’re too unable to move? Or do you only want pillow princesses if they’re able bodied?

zaf just finished the epilogue, so it's far too soon for me to start talking about why i like* the deaths of [redacted] in FoF

It’s not too soon. Hurt me.