From the darkness I arise

Familiar faces surround me

But it still feels so damn lonely

Words can't reach me

Wish my thoughts would let me be

Nothing said nor the things you do

Ever hold consequences to you

The smell of perfume still lingers

As you always point fingers

Whose to lose whose to blame

Who cares it all ends up the same

Never right never wrong

Though this love lingers on

Its time for me to let you go

When's it end? We never know

Till then I'll just ride the flow

Sweet surrender

Love unrendered

Nothingness has brought me peace

And absence sweet release

For so long ive lost my way

Living off the things you'd say

For once I now see the light

And im ready to win this fight

The love from you ive wanted

Has now become a hindrance

As our garden burns to cinders

I soak in the ashes of the past

Of things that were never meant to last

I let the ashes consume me

As I bloom beautiful and free

You threw our life away

And only regret the day

Now that no one is left to hold you

The bridges fell through

And all you have now is you.

You rose from the crowd

And left without a sound

I never knew your name

But I'll never be the same

The band played the song

And we danced along

You gave me a drink

And my nerves start to sink

One look in your eye

I shot my arms to the sky

The song kept going

I kept dancing never knowing

When or if it would end

Before I knew it

The night was over

A glance over my shoulder

She disappeared into the crowd

Saddened shame

That I never got her name

That beautiful Pennsylvanian girl

I'm grateful for the moment

Though we wanted something

I was to happy to be in your grace

The look in your face

When you asked me to dance

Got me up like rockets to the moon

In my opinion the show ended to soon

It's a shame

That I never knew your name

Beautiful Pennsylvania girl

While the parting was sad

I must thank you

I do not believe for a second that God punishes people for suicide. I do not believe a being as loving and forgiving as he/she is portrayed to be wijld punish someone that the world failed and made feel like they didn't matter. The punishment falls onto the world.

Someone lost a son or a daughter. A mother or a father. A friend a lover someone very dear and important to them. The world loses a beautiful soul. The world loses someone who could of made a difference to the world or even someone else in need of a friend.

Far to often do we as self appointed judges pass judgement onto others and assume we know everything when really we know so very little. We should be talking about it. We should be a port in the storm. A place of wisdom and comfort. Kindness is worth it's own weight in gold. We all fight battles and face things we don't talk about. Be someone's source of comfort and wisdom not the rock and the hard place.

And for those who need a boost today you are perfect just the way you are. And whatever your accomplishments no matter how big or small I am proud of you. You are important and you do matter. Don't waste away a chance to talk to make a change to give a chance for things to get better. I know i speak for many when I say I would rather stay up with someone all night talking go them then for someone to die.

Love of my life

Won't you give me your hand

You're the reason I'm breathing

Let me show you where I stand

Love of my life

Won't you please be my wife

You're the only one for me

I hope you understand

You're the only star i see

In this sky of diamonds above

It's only you i love

Love of my life

For you I can only pray

That I'll find you in some way

But for now I'm only dreaming

Love of my life

Your highness your grace

As our eyes come face to face

You launch me into space

I hang on your words

And melt in your smile

Snow and ice against a summers gaze

Let me count the ways

Your love is infectious

And your heart is precious

Tender and sweet

You were meant for me

Even a blind man can see

This heavenly gift to be

Factual and true

I worship and adore you

When I awake it cuts like a knife

Remembering i haven't found

The love of my life

Mr sandman keep me asleep

So my loneliness won't creep

Youre a Heartless betrayer

A mindless deceiver

I was foolishly eager

a boredom reliever

It's better to be free

Then be what you are to me

She's a dwelling place for demons

And changes with the seasons

Heart as cold as winter

And can make your bones splinter

She's burning bright like summer

As she leads you to a lake of fire

With her graces comes desires

As youre raked across the embers

You don't have a prayer

If your caught in her glare

Heartless betrayer

Careless deceiver

Blinded by the light

As youre consumed

by the apple bite

She's always the schemer

And doesn't care if you leave her

She's on the proll

Waiting for her next victim to fall

If your caught in her stare

You'd better beware

Of the heartless betrayer

I can't be held responsible

It was her choice not mine

I played the hand she dealt to me

Irony her soul is free

While im caught in the gravity

Always running from something

I've always let you do your thing

Roaming the streets like a cat on the proll

The snow kisses your nose and you drift away.

No one was ever there

Just another someone's prayer

Lately I've been feeling the guilt

As I learn of your passing

The choice was mine I guess

To love you without asking

Never thought wed leave us such a mess

Should I have left well enough alone

And let you be on your own

You cover us in guilt and pain

Like black roses on a grave

Another life that Jesus couldn't save

The world judged you cruel

And the church says you'll burn in hell

But Does God really punish those that fell

I see the light and know the truth

But it's not my story to tell

They call you a sinner but never knew

That you were a daughter and mother too

Sometimes it's not enough to pray

And you just waste another day

To find the words to make them stay

May your god forgive me now

I fell in love and lead you astray

And derailed your life line anyway

Not knowing consequence at hand

So this is now where I stand

Between the light and the dark

And you were my only spark

As you fade into the sky

I am imprisoned by the gravity.

Thought I could be spared the lie

And I believed so blissfully

It was never my intention

To cause your fall

I did love you after all.

Although this guilt lingers on

You were part of this dance and song

You left me in the dark

And now I'm sinking slowly

Cause my brain has sprung a leak

And I can't control my feelings

It's raining in my head

And I don't have any ceilings

Monsters are so well read

And they come in suits and ties

To sell us pretty lies

I'm so tired I can't sleep

As the dawn begins to creep

Guess I'm just a freak

Cause I can't buy no sleep

And money's not so cheap

Nothing's ever free

Especially my speech

My mouth has sprung a leak

And it's not okay to speak

But I'm spilling words like water

The dams about to give

I know it's not the way to live

But it's all the cards Ive laid

All my sins are paid

By monetizing prayers

Jesus is a banker

Loaning out to sinners

Forgiveness for a prayer

Gamble if you dare

But there's never any winners