soft same

I saw a tweet that asked “has there even been a baby who sat in the Stanley cup, then proceeded to join the nhl/win a Stanley cup?” and my dumb ass confindently went “JACK ZIMMERMANN”

I really wish we had a check, please! tv adaptation cuz I think it would be really funny seeing edits going “I think I’m gonna die in this HAUS” and it’s just shitty or smth

[said with increasing amount of distress] i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this

if you like gay hockey (books) or gay hockey (tv show) you'll love gay hockey (comics)

Jack Zimmermann watching Heated Rivalry: “When are they going to play hockey?”

my friends r sending me heated rivalry clips of a player kissing his bf (?) on national tv after winning the cup and all i can think of was wow that also happened to my close personal friends jack and bitty

Once they come out, Jack starts wearing a tshirt that reads “My boyfriend is a hockey player”

Okay but just imagine with me…Jack comes out but doesn’t introduce Bitty to the public at large. And when he wears the t-shirt…like oh my god, the gossip and speculation! People are throwing out all kinds of names! Crosby, Seguin, Mashkov, and even Parson! Every day it’s some one new! (The Falconers, who are very familiar with Bitty, take great delight in informing Jack as to who the media thinks his boyfriend is that day).

Tater gets “I am Zimmermann’s boyfriend” t-shirts made and raises a LOT of money for charity, because a bunch of very famous NHL players all wear them at once in an I am Spartacus situation that brings Instagram to a grinding halt for three days.

Kent Parson goes out in public wearing a sparkly I AM KENT PARSON’S BOYFRIEND shirt and no one knows what to do with that.

for the rest of their lives any person who has been a member of SMH has gotten the same confusion squinting thrown in their direction: "Wait. Justin. You baked these cookies?" "Who made this pie—Anthony?" "Will, these are the most perfect pancakes I've ever—" "Larissa, you could enter these into a contest. Holy shit." "Okay, Alexei, where did you buy these?" And everyone is like: "Oh, yeah, I had this friend in college—" "Yeah, I got really good at baking in college—" "A friend taught me how to make two dozen pancakes while hungover—" "Yeah. It's an award-winning recipe. I learned it from a friend—" "Not store bought; I made them!!"

congrats to tater for officially being promoted to “member of SMH”