sabriner??? i hardly know ‘er!!!!

dogmogging your puppygirl by barking louder than her

maybe if you got off that damn radio you'd get some head

i think. not only is the capra demon from dark souls very fuckable, but i feel as if he would be a good romantic partner. he seems to take quite good care of his 2 dogs, has a home, AND has a stable job beating the shit out of people in an alley. i feel like you would wake up next to him when the alarm goes off and he goes to work and you'd hold him and go "come on cappy five more minutes" and he'd grunt out in whatever language demons speak that if he doesn't stop the chosen undead from getting the key to the depths then who would? and so you let him go even though you still really wish he'd stay and cuddle. so you stay home all day, maybe prep some food for dinner later or take the alley dogs on a walk around the undead burg. and then capra demon gets home and bends you over a counter and thrusts into you so hard that you have to respawn at the nearest bonfire. i bet you forgot i opened this post talking about how the capra demon is fuckable huh.

watch out stock traders: onions poised to rapidly fall in value over Q3, but could mushrooms fill the void in the market? subscribe to gnomenomics for more breakdowns on the coming market

hey im so glad you could make it!! ive been looking forward to this date all d-*cums*-ay and… what? huh? no I didn’t cum right now how would I e-*cums*-v-ven do thattttt like I can’t just *cums* cumfggghhh onnn comfghgand like th-*cums* mmgmgmgmmhhhhhh I think we should resch-*cums*ehdhdhdhhh mmgggh fuckkkkk… uh reschedule…

i would like to apologize for my "fajitas are s*zzling" post i made earlier. i will make an effort to educate myself and not make this mistake again.