bit by bit

DARREN CRISS | Live at the Emerson Colonial Theater (Boston, MA) | May 29, 2026

This unnamed player - let's call him Fred, just because - is devastated. He used to be so close to his brother when they were young and now he's finding out this is what's been driving a wedge between them for all these years and he can't even be angry about it because his brother was right to be careful.

Fred brings this up to the other Metros and most of them give a halfhearted "that sucks dude" but he digs his heels in and says no, this needs to change, some of you probably also have gay relatives or friends who do not trust you. "In fact," Fred says, "I looked it up and something like 1 in 10 people are gay so there's probably a gay guy or two on this team and he or they don't feel safe to come out!"

And the others immediately protest, like gay guys don't play hockey don't be stupid!! And if they did, what the fuck, why wouldn't he tell us, he's probably watching us in the showers!! And Fred goes this is why he wouldn't tell us.

(Shane's listening to all of this quietly disassociating, wishing he were anywhere else.)

Anyway there's a lot of arguing and stupid comments, but eventually most of them concede that yeah if there's a gay guy on the team, he's got good reasons not to come out and maybe we should make this a more comfortable space because that kind of stress can't be good for our hypothetically gay teammate's playing.

(Shane's playing is fine, thank you very fucking much.)

It takes a few weeks but with Fred pushing and a few more open-minded and well meaning Metros joining in, the team culture starts to slowly change. One of them tells his majoring-in-gender-studies girlfriend about the effort and she super excitedly puts together a beginner friendly power point presentation to introduce them to some queer history and lingo.

Then someone has the bright idea to do "gay activities" once a month together, like watching Brokeback Mountain and going to drag brunch and of course, eventually, inevitably, a gay bar.

Shane gets himself out of every single event because sitting around with his straight teammates doing gay shit sounds like a fucking nightmare like he just wants to play hockey and suck cock, not have to learn about whatever the hell tucking is.

His teammates notice Shane's reluctance to join and it comes to a head while they're in Boston and want to hit a gay bar after a game for their monthly mandatory gay outing because of fucking course they do. Shane refuses to join and one of the Metros goes "Well maybe our gay teammate hasn't come out yet because he knows his Captain won't support him??" So now Shane has to go or he is officially labeled a homophobe.

He lets Ilya know he can't come over to fuck because he has to go to a gay bar with his team. And Ilya, who has heard about the Metros' gay initiative and thinks it's hilarious how annoyed Shane is with the whole thing, suggests to the Raiders that they join the Metros to show that they're gay friendly too and his teammates are a little weirded out but ultimately surprisingly cool with it.

Of course Shane is pissed once Ilya shows up with his buddies looking so self-satisfied and smug and gorgeous, and this is Shane's one chance to get fucked for the next two months and instead he has to spend the evening watching Drapeau and Olsson do unicorn shots??

He gets up to leave and his teammates start protesting like "come on man, you promised you'd be cool" and "wow you're actually a homophobe, aren't you? smh we thought you were better". And Ilya and the other Raiders are watching the whole thing go down and Shane fucking snaps.

"You all talk a big game but would you actually be okay with a gay guy in the locker room?"

And his teammates are outraged like yes obviously!!

"A guy who gets fucked other guys? Could you look at him and know he's sucked cock and still respect him the same as your straight teammates?"

And maybe this question would have made the Metros uncomfortable earlier in the year but they are enlightened now and offended that Shane would even ask! Honestly, you're looking more and more homophobic dude (Hayden is on the verge of tears).

"Okay, what if he was hooking up with a player on another team? 'Cause that would never be an issue with a straight player."

And the Metros would have to take a moment to think because yeah, that's a possibility they hadn't considered. But! one of them points out, guys play against their brothers and friends all the time, and no one has an issue with that. If a gay player had to play against his lover (Shane's eye twitches dangerously), he wouldn't let that affect his game any more than straight players do playing against their loved ones.

In fact, there's something kinda romantic about it now that they think about it. Like Romeo and Juliet with hockey!

Now Shane glances at Ilya, who no longer looks amused.

"So you guys really are fine with all of that?"

The Metros agree enthusiastically, fired up and proud at what good allies they're being.

"Okay. Well. I'm gay, and I've been hooking up with a player on another team since rookie year."

The group falls silent. Shane stares them down, silently freaking out, because did he just annoyed into coming out??

"Who?" one of the Metros finally asks. Another elbows him.

"Dude, you can't ask that."

"But you don't like any gay stuff!" another Metro protests.

"I like sucking cock," Shane deadpans. "Is that gay enough for you?"

And fair enough, the Metros have to admit, that is pretty gay.

No one stops Shane when he tries to leave this time, though Hayden does chase him outside to tell him how proud he is of him, and Shane just gives a flat okay and jumps into the nearest taxi.

Analyzing the data gives them zero hints about what team he's on which on the one hand, good, that means it doesn't affect Shane's game, but it also bad, because it makes it so much more difficult for them to speculate.

They make a list of suspects and sure, speculating on a stranger's sexuality isn't very good allyship, but also have you considered that they're curious?? Besides, this info will never leave the locker room.

The info immediately leaves the locker room.

It takes exactly two minutes for his teammates to wreck his good mood.

They're all uncharacteristically careful and subdued, which Shane doesn't pay any particular attention to, until Hayden's coming up to him like, "Hey, buddy, you okay?"

And that's when Shane remembers he muted the group chat in June because they wouldn't stop accusing Scott Hunter of breaking his heart.