A pleasure doing bismuth with you

pros: you get to feel clean. you get non greasy hair, non oily feeling skin, it just in general makes you feel better, more energised, refreshed.

"THIS MOLOTOV COCKTAIL IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY COMMUNISM"

"... He's like an artist... And his canvas is misery"

"my dear, I have given up"

"you are SO handy!" "I. KNOW."

"I'm immortal, he's 173 years old, we have time"

"you're the only scientist I've met to say things like "eh... well""

"dear, are our friends attempting to... Inebriate a tree?" "Yes dear. And lord forgive me but I have to see what happens"

"is that a huge bone" "Iforgottodropit"

"so why aren't we telling ava" "because ava is a crazy science wizard who would use a dooms day device just to see what would happen"

"so you decided to come in here all guns blazing?" "Yes" "... You're heart wasn't in it, Ted" "... I know"

*in various bad country accents* "say when" "say when" "say when" "say when"

"he killed you daddy, and your mule!" "I loved that mule" "and your dad" "yeah him too"

"I feel like we just slipped an unknowable banana peel into a ball pit of ambiguity"

"Gloria bit John Wilkes Booth"

What a lot of people don’t know is that the reason  why there’s dirt cheap noodles at any store, is because one day, a long time ago, two nuclear bombs  were detonated on an island called Japan. Thousands of people died in an instant, and in the aftermath thousands more were going to die of sickness and starvation. But one man had an idea to send bricks of dried noodles with a packet of flavoring to anyone who was hungry. They knew they weren’t going to starve. On the island of Jamaica they cook chicken in a way that doesn’t make any smoke. They do that because a long time ago, they were slaves, and the smoke would’ve alerted slavers and they  would then be running for their lives. Zebulon, why do Jewish people eat unleavened bread?

ZEBULON: Because they too were slaves. When word came from Moses that it was time to flee captivity in the night, they had no time to wait for their bread to rise. So to this day, the flat bread is a reminder of that flight from their oppressor.

GLORIA: For me, when I cook with corn, beans, and squash, it’s called the tres hermanas. The same way my ancestors cooked thousands of years ago. My ancestors who were nearly wiped out by foreign invaders… Show me your plate, and I’ll tell you a sad, sad story. Your sad story begins today. The day you had to turn to the spirits of your ancestors to keep you alive while you were just trying to do the right thing, and leave a better life for your children. I can’t make you eat this food. It’s your story, not mine. So Zebulon’s going to say a prayer, and then you’re all going to make a choice. It’s up to you.

i put them on my front door and anytime it opens they ring. that way if i think someone has broken in or i see someone who isn’t there i can think back to if the bells have rung, and if they haven’t i can assure myself it’s not real. obviously it’s not fool proof, like if you are prone to auditory hallucinations, but it has really helped me calm down in time to avoid major psychotic breaks. it’s a real lifesaver

Nothing brings me more joy than people learning from history and then modernizing it up a bit.

Like you wanna grow your hair long? Stop washing it so often and brush it more to keep it clean. Your hair will be way healthier too. And stop cutting it (and use a boar bristle brush, it’ll work better as it’ll actually absorb the oils, distribute them better, and work a hell of a lot better than non-absorbent plastic would) Edit: Early on, some well meaning person kindly asked me to inform you that the boar bristle brush technique does not work on curly hair, however I have since been informed by multiple parties that it does! My hair is as straight as a pin so use your own judgment!

You want to keep cool in the summer? Out with the polyester and in with the linen and cotton. Natural fibers are going to keep you cooler because they’re literally made to breathe

You want to preemptively stop the underwire in your bra from poking through? There’s a very simple embroidery stitch you can do that the Edwardians used to do to stop their corset boning from coming through.

Crows are kinda bad at this kind of thing..