Lena got into an accident and lost her memory. She becomes cold and callous. Kara watches from afar but says a phrase Lena used to Always say once in a while. Later Lena remembers everything and says the phrase to her on her own?
Thereās something about the way Lenaās bruised and bleary eyes slide off of her that sends a jolt of alarm down Karaās spine.Ā
Lena searches the faces surrounding her hospital bed, but none of them is the one sheās looking for.Ā
āMy brother, Lex⦠why isnāt he here?ā She asks the doctor whose speech she interrupts. āWas he in the car with me? Is he okay?ā
Kara and Alex lock eyes, as Karaās stomach drops to her knees and Lenaās tone sharpens.
āWhere is my brother?!ā
The doctor explains that amnesia isnāt an uncommon side effect of a brain injury like Lenaās. Through a series of carefully crafted questions, they learn that Lenaās lost almost five years. Sheās lost L-Corp and Kara and Supergirl and her brotherās conviction and her motherās arrest and her motherās escape from prison.
When Lena closes her ears to the doctor, Kara volunteers to explain why Lex hasnāt visited. Itās the worst decision sheās ever made.
Thereās no denial, no outrage. Just the complete and utter rejection of her presence. From that point onwards, Lena doesnāt look at her, doesnāt say a single word. Kara finally does leave, accepting she wonāt make any further progress that night.Ā
Sheāll try again in the morning.
She finds out the next morning that she learns Lena has rejected any and all visitors.
āExcept for a Mr., ahā¦.ā the doctor pauses, flipping through his notes, āJack Spheer? If you have a way to contact him, please let us know. The number she was able to provide is out of service.ā
Kara shuts her eyes. āJack Spheer died two years ago.ā
The doctor sighs. āThis woman just canāt catch a break.ā He closes his file. āIām sorry. Until Miss Luthor changes her mind, my hands are tied. And due to HIPAA policy, I wonāt be able to share anything further about her condition.ā
āButā Iām her next of kin! And her emergency contact!ā
The doctor shakes his head. āNot anymore. Her family lawyers have already communicated her change in permissions.ā
Kara freezes. āSheā she canāt do that!ā
āShe can. Sheās fully cognizant, and capable of giving and rescinding consent. Thereās nothing the hospital can do until notified otherwise.ā
āPlease, just let me see her, I have to talk to herā!ā
The doctor leaves. Kara stays for days, stubbornly hoping her persistence would levy a response from somebody. All she earns are a few sympathetic glances, and nothing more.
Kara honors the letter of Lenaās new rules, but not the spirit. As Supergirl, she hovers high above the hospital, hearing focused entirely on a single room below.Ā
āGood morning, Miss Luthor,ā as nurse greets, following the same script as all the others come before. āHow are we feeling?ā
āFine. When can I leave?ā
āThe doctor wants to keep you a few more nights. Head traumas are tricky things. Though, if you had someone who could stay with you, he might agree to let you go sooner.ā
Lena snorts. āAnd what part of the past week suggests to you that I have anyone?ā
āWell, what about Kara? Iām sure sheād love to spend a few nights with you.ā
Kara could kiss that nurse, if not for the blow that quickly follows.
āKara Danvers? Iām told she was here when you woke up.ā
Kara will never in her life forget the sound of Lenaās voice in that moment.Ā
āShe seemed very worried about you. Iām sure her contact information is still on file: we would be happy to give her a callāā
āJesus christ, will you just shut up? I donāt know her! Why would I want her in my house?ā
The nurse leaves. So does Kara. She doesnāt listen again.
Lena returns to L-Corp almost as soon as sheās released from the hospital, and hits the ground running. By lunch, sheās agreed to a meeting with James so long as he comes to her. Kara insists on going with him, and does so under the guise of being an extra pair of hands lugging a stack of board meeting minutes and profit projections and Rao knows what else James deemed necessary.
She practically leads the way to L-Corp, only dropping back when they reach Jessā desk. The assistant gives them an uneasy glanceā Lenaās condition doesnāt sit well with anyone, it would seem.Ā
James is the first to step into Lenaās office. Lena greets him before even bothering to glance up at him.
āHi, Lena,ā he returns, undeterred by the curtness of her tone. āThanks for agreeing to meet with me. I just wanted to stop in and see if you had any questions about CatCo. I know itās been a weird couple of weeks so I brought minutes and annual reportsāā
āI already know everything I need toā that for some inconceivable reason, Iāve purchased a useless company that I neither want nor need. So you and your assistā oh.ā
Kara fidgets behind James, adjusting her glasses and shifting the stack of papers in her arms.
āKara Danvers is one of our best up and coming reporters,ā James covers quickly. āBut sheās just here for the heavy lifting today.ā
Lenaās lips curl in a mirthless smile. āReporter. Funny. You told the hospital something different, Miss Danvers.ā
āIāā Kara takes a breath to explain, but barely manages to edge a word in before Lenaās hand snaps up, dismissing her entirely.
āDonāt bother. Iām just glad I made the right choice. As for you, Mr. Olsen, rest assured that I have no interest in a media conglomerate. Itās my understanding you were running CatCo in Miss Grants absence, and youāre welcome to do so again until I find a way to cut the company loose.ā
Lena leans back in her seat, eyebrow lifting when neither of them make a move to leave.
āJust give it time,ā Alex tells her over ice cream later that week. āThe doctor said thereās still a chance of her memory returning.ā
Kara shakes head. āHe said with familiarity. If Iām there helping remind her. Which Iām not. She wonāt even let me get close.ā
āIf you let her find her own normal, maybe sheāll be in a better position to talk. Thereās no reason to lose hope this early.ā
Sure. Whatever Alex says.
After three weeks, thereās no change. Lena doesnāt reach out, to any of them. Kara doesnāt know if Lena reaches that new normal Alex described. The only new normal she knows is the constant ache of missing Lena, and the chill of her empty apartment.Ā
She uses Supergirl as a distraction. Only problem is, the city is sleepy with wintertime, and when Thanksgiving rolls around, thereās nothing that requires Supergirlās attention.Ā
Nothing but a lone figure on the L-Corp balcony, gazing forlorn across the city.
Kara should just go home. Elizaās in town, and even though a party doesnāt feel right without Lena, there are some family traditions she just canāt ignore. Even so, Kara finds herself drifting closer, and then hovering just off the far end of Lenaās balcony.Ā
Lenaās head snaps towards her. Kara tries not to notice the instinctive recoil of Lena drawing back, eyes wide and wary at the sight of her.
Despite her racing heartbeat, Lenaās voice is strong and biting. Kara offers a smile. āI heard about what happened. Iām sorry.ā
Bracing herself for the inevitable snap back, Karaās left reeling when Lena looks away, shoulders hunching in a rare moment of vulnerability.Ā
āSo youāve finally come by to see what Lex Luthorās sister is up to?ā
āNo. Not at all.ā Kara doesnāt move any closer, and Lena slowly relaxes. Amazed that Lena hasnāt already banished her, Kara rests her arms against the outer edge of the railing, the reflection of Lenaās own lean that she resumes as her alarm abates.
They standā and float, respectivelyā in the quiet evening for several minutes.
āThey wonāt let me see him,ā Lena confesses softly to the shadows. āIāve requested visitation three times since I woke up, and every time Iāve been denied.ā
Kara doesnāt respond. Sheās well aware of Lenaās struggles. One of the perks of being Supergirl is that when she requests Lex Luthor receive no visitors whatsoever, he receives no visitors. It might be overreach, but sheāll feel guilty later, once sheās certain Lenaās emotional walls are fully fortified. Lex Luthor wonāt be getting the chance to sink a single claw in his sister.
āI can only imagine what you must think of that. Baby sister trying to takes notesā¦ā Lenaās voice turns bitter, then trails to nothing. āBut I justā I need to ask him⦠why.ā
Kara doesnāt pretend to have an answer. She simply stays, until Lena finally turns and goes back into her office without another word. Even then, she lingers, rising to hover above L-Corp and listen as Lena sips at a bottle of wine before falling asleep on her office couch.
When she finally returns home, she sobs in her sisterās arms. For herself, and the loneliness of Thanksgiving without Lena. She cries for Lena too, and the loss of Lex made new again.
The next morning, she reaches for her phone, fingers itching to text Lena. She does so, against every instinct warning her against it. It doesnāt matter.
Her number is no longer in service.
Two weeks before Christmas, Kara is run so ragged she almost forgets to miss Lena. Almost.Ā
But on this morning in particular, sheās trying plot a course through six scheduled interviews plus her looming deadline for a separate article when she waits to pick up her coffee order. She hates impatience, but this time sheās that person tapping their foot and checking their watch repeatedly.
āGingerbread latte for Kiera!ā
Kara lunges for the counter and snatches the cup away before it makes contact with the ledge.Ā
āThank you!ā She chirps before stuffing an extra couple of bills in the tip jar. She makes a mess at the condiment bar before hastily jamming a lid on and pushing towards the door.
She smacks into a body entering. Her lid flies off, latte sloshing up and over her hand and drenching the blouse of her unwitting victim, who gasps first in surprise then cursing in pain as the hot liquid soaks through her shirt.
āOw, fuck!ā A familiar voice sears Karaās consciousness. āWatch where youāre going!ā
Kara blinks at Lena, cheeks heating when recognition doesnāt hit Lena for another three heartbeats. When it does, it comes with its own curse.
āOf fucking course. Are you following me now?ā
āNnn-no?ā Kara responds, hesitantly. āI was here first, technically? So, no. Definitely no.ā
āWhatever,ā Lena mutters, plucking at her shirt. āDid you manage to grab any napkins before jumping to lightspeed?ā
āOh!ā Kara starts pulling her horde of napkins from her pockets. āGod, Iām so sorry. Yes, here!ā
She gives Lena one handful before using the other to start cleaning up the mess, starting with the floor before wiping the tops of Lenaās shoes dry. She very nearly moves on to the splotches of damp hose, but catches herself just as Lena curses again.
āGod damn it,ā she huffs, slopping the soiled napkins into the trash. Her shirt is hopelessly ruined, and they both know it.
āI really am sorry,ā Kara says again. āIs there anything I could doā?ā
āStaying the fuck away from me would have been a start, but apparently youāre physically incapable,ā Lena snaps. āSo unless you have a magical stain remover in that messenger bag, no, thereās nothing that will salvage the meeting Iāve been prepping for the past two weeks. So. Thanks for that.ā
Kara knows the importance of keeping appointments for L-Corp. Sometimes, sheās learned, investors only give you one chance.Ā
She eyes the stain on Lenaās blouse, then starts pulling off her bag. āWait a second!āĀ
She strips off her blazer, and holds it out to Lena. The fit will be off, but it should hide the damage just enough to get Lena through her meeting.Ā
"Itās not a remover, but does a magic stain HIDER count?ā
Kara weathers Lenaās skeptical glare. Weighing her options, Lena must land on the side of not having any, and a moment later the proffered jacket is plucked from her fingers.Ā
It fits well enough once Lena cuffs the sleeves. The result is some exposed lining, which actually looks deliberate with its pretty spotted satin. Most importantly, it hides the stain entirely.
āPerfect. You look great.ā
Lenaās cheeks flush, but this time Kara isnāt certain itās from anger. āItās passable.ā She meets Karaās gaze. āThank you.ā
āOh, please,ā Kara waves off. āThatās what friends are for!ā
Lena blinks, then jolts as the words register. Before Kara can frantically backtrack to salvage what little conversation they were having, her phone starts to ring. Jamesā name is on the caller ID.Ā
āOh shoot! Iām so sorry, I have to go, I am so late.ā Kara shoves the rest of her napkins into Lenaās hands. āJust send me your dry cleaning bill, okay? Sorry, again!ā
She escapes into bustle of foot traffic, and lets the day sweep her away.
Two days later, she returns to CatCo to find James bustling towards her.
āWhere have you been?ā He asks. āI tried calling youāā
āI was talking to a source, and then I was coming here anyway, soā¦ā she blinks at Jamesā agitation. āWhatās wrong?ā
āShe was looking for you. I tried to call youā¦ā
Kara presses her hand to her head. Lena, here. Looking for her. And Kara missed it.
āShe left something at your desk.ā
Nearly tripping in her haste, Kara scurries to her desk. There in a neat cardboard garment box is her blazer, crisply pressed and devoid of any coffee transfer.Ā
She doesnāt find a note.
Sheās Supergirl again when she next sees Lena. Itās on the L-Corp balcony again, and this time Lena somehow looks even more troubled than she did at Thanksgiving.Ā
āGood evening, Miss Luthor.ā
Green eyes blink up at her, too despondent to be surprised. āSupergirl. Did you need something?ā
āNo. Nothing, justā you seemed troubled, and I wanted see if you were okay.ā
āMy family is either dead or in prison, and I havenāt left my office in over a week. Iām just peachy.ā
Instead of getting discouraged, Kara offers a sympathetic smile as she sits on the edge of the balcony rail. Her feet dangle, perilous for anyone who isnāt her.Ā
āIt must be really lonely, to wake up the way you did. Iām sorry you had to go through that.ā
āWhy are you speaking with me?ā Lena asks. āYou should hate me.ā
She regards Kara carefully. āLet me guess. You were my friend too.ā
Kara grins. āYes, I was. And I hope I still can be.ā Lena looks away, and Kara tries to ignore the way her heart drops. āMaybe I should have mentioned it sooner. But I didnāt want you to feel pressured to resume a life you donāt remember.ā
For several long moments, neither of them say anything. Winter doesnāt get cold in National City, not like it does in Metropolis, but thereās still a significant chill, this high up and this late at night. Kara knows from the way Lena tugs her sweater closer around her that the chill is present tonight, even if she herself canāt feel it.
āDo you know Kara Danvers?ā Lena asks quietly.
Kara straightens, surprised by the question. Lena correctly assumes her response regardless.
āOf course you do,ā she drawls with a roll of her eyes. āEveryone in the city seems to know Kara Danvers.ā
A nervous chuckle scrapes out of Karaās throat. āYeah, as a reporter, she really gets around.ā
āShe said something the other day⦠I havenāt been able to get it out of my head.ā
āShe lent me her jacket, and when I tried to thank her, she said āthatās what friends are forā.ā Lena shakes her head. āItās a normal thing to say, but⦠I just keep hearing it over and over in my head. Always in her voice.ā
Kara swallows. āLena, Iām sorry, but I donāt think I should be the one you talk to about this.ā
āOh.ā Lenaās gaze shutters. āOf course. I donāt mean to take you away from your duties.ā
āNo, itās not that, itās just⦠Iām notā¦ā
Itās just that sheās not impartial.
Kara canāt be the sounding board to Lenaās confusion, when all she wants is to take her in her arms and bring Lena home where she belongs.
Kara sighs. āIām Kara Danvers.ā
Lena freezes. āExcuse me?ā
āIām Kara Danvers. Superhero by night, intrepid reporter by day.ā
Whatever Lena expected, it isnāt this. The revelation throws her for a loop, and she pulls away from both Kara and the balcony rail, arms folding tight in front of her. With a knot in her stomach, Kara floats up off the rail, and descends to land on the balcony facing her.
āWhy would you tell me that?ā Lena demands. Her eyes are hard, yet uncertain. āAnd why would I believe it?ā
Kara fishes for a way to prove itās not a lie, and finds herself at a loss. She doesnāt have her glasses, or even an elastic for her hair, and Lena hasnāt spent enough time with Kara Danvers to have any kind of special knowledge.
She laughs at the unexpected absurdity of it.
āItās a lot easier to prove this when I can just pop my buttons open and show off the suit. Iāve never done it this way beforeā¦ā She shrugs.Ā
āI can tell you that it was a gingerbread latte I spilled on you at Noonanās the other day, and that the blazer I loaned you had little blue polka dots on the lining. And I can tell you Iāve been kicking myself ever since I found out you came to CatCo looking for me and I wasnāt there to meet you.ā
Lenaās eyes glisten in the light filtering through the windows of her office. Her throat works silently for long moments until she trusts her voice enough to speak. āHow can you trust me? I may not beā you donāt know me.ā
Kara shrugs. āYou may not have the same memories that I do, but Lena⦠you didnāt become a different person when you came to National City. Supergirl didnāt make you a good person, and neither did Kara Danvers. You were already good.ā
Silence stretches between them. Lena doesnāt look convinced, and clearly doesnāt trust the trust that Kara is offering. Kara sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. āLast time, I waited too long to tell you the truth. It nearly destroyed our friendship. I donāt want to make that mistake again.ā
Lena looks away, finding distraction in the lights starting to turn off in the building across the street. Kara waits, letting Lena be the next to speak.
āI mean something, to people. Ever since I woke up in the hospital, and found out my brotherā that Lex killed people, everyone has been acting like they know me. Like they care.ā
Kara nods, but doesnāt say anything.
āI know Kara is different. Sheā you mean something to me, I just⦠I canāt remember. Iāve puzzled out what we had, but I donāt feel it. I donāt have it inside me.ā
The last tiny shred of hope that Lena might one day recover her memories evaporates in that moment. Kara feels the tears spring to her eyes, but she blinks them back before Lena can see them.
She shakes her head and pastes on a smile. āThatās okay. Your memories may not come back, but that doesnāt have to matter. You have friends here, and not just me. James, and Sam, and Alex⦠you can make new memories, if you want. You donāt have to be alone.ā
āI donāt know if Iām ready for that.ā
Karaās heart trips in her chest, and her breath locks behind her ribs.
āBut I would like to know you better. If youā I know Iāve been awful to you, Iām sorryā¦ā
āAlready forgotten,ā Kara promises swiftly. Itās true, but Rao sheāll say anything she has to if it means Lena will open the door again.
Lena nods, swallowing again. āThen, if youāre agreeable, maybe⦠maybe we could get to know each other again?ā
āI would really, really like that.ā
They go for coffee that night. Supergirl flies off, and meets Lena on the street as Kara Danvers. In the light of the foyer, Lena studies her, as though looking for hints of Supergirl.
āMiss Danvers,ā she greets. Karaās chest constricts painfully at the resumed formality.
āWhat was the question I wanted to ask my brother on Thanksgiving?ā
Kara blinks, then softens into a relieved smile. āWhy,ā she answers. Her grin grows when Lena breaks into a tiny smile of her own. Her eyebrows lift, and her head tilts towards the door.
With that, they strike out into the dark, together.