˖᯽ ݁˖· ─ why so sexy if so dumb? a collection of lyric - based prompts from sabrina carpenter's album, man's best friend. change pronouns & adjust as needed.
you said your phone was broken, just forgot to charge it.
there's a cuter word for it, i know.
if i'm not there, it won't get done.
i choose to blame your mom.
a little initiative can go a very long, long way.
a little respect for women can get you very, very far.
what in the fucked up romantic dark comedy is this nightmare lately?
he's busy, he's working, he doesn't have time for me.
my slutty pajamas aren't tempting him in the least.
the joke can be over now.
i'm right here, i'm waving.
my man's in touch with his emotions.
my man won't touch me with a twenty foot pole.
put your loving where your mouth is.
your sugar talking isn't working tonight.
your paragraphs mean shit to me.
get your sorry ass to mine.
big word for a real small mind.
aren't you tired of saying a whole lot of nothing?
you filled my whole apartment with flowers that die.
it's your seventh last chance.
is that how the saying goes?
been here a thousand times.
all the "i'm sorry"s and "i love you"s were said.
we had our sex and then we made amends.
we almost broke up again last night.
at least we'll give 'em something to talk about.
you say we're drifting apart again.
big deal, we've been here before.
i think it's time we took a break.
probably should've guessed he's like the rest.
so fine and so deceiving.
yes i'm talking 'bout your baby.
i just wish you didn't have a mind.
just the other night, you said you need me.
i love you just the same.
wish you a lifetime full of happiness.
i think this schedule could be very light.
us girls are fun but stressful.
you've got a right hand anyway.
i hope you find a good whole lot of nothing.
abstinence is just a state of mind.
'bout time i get back on the horse.
i think i would remember if you had that face.
take me to naked twister back at your place.
it's thickening the plot.
congratulations on your new improvements.
i bet your rod's, like, bigger than zeus'.
can you lift my car with your hand?
you were an ugly kid but you're a sexy man.
sorry i didn't see the vision.
love when happy hour comes at ten o'clock am on a tuesday.
guess a broken heart doesn't care that i just woke up.
got a soft spot for a bev and a boy that's fruity.
can't lie, whole week's been tough.
no party invitations, not going to the club.
i'm just drinking to call someone.
ain't nobody safe when i'm a little bit drunk.
a girl who knows her liquor is a girl who's been dumped.
some good old - fashioned fun sure numbs the pain.
yeah, it's super important.
how many shots in an ounce?
i might have double vision.
that's irrelevant right now.
i miss you and i think about you every minute.
just trying different numbers, didn't think that you'd pick up.
how's you been? what's up?
you think i'm gonna fuck with your head.
your perfect timing couldn't be worse.
it's impressive how you don't read signs.
i'll never call you right back.
i'll bitch you out when i please.
don't worry, i'll make you worry.
i'll never let you know where you stand.
that's some of my best work.
thought sleeping with you might help me decide.
you're internalizing my jokes.
i'll leave you feeling like a shell of a man.
thank you for the dinner, baby.
i had a really great time.
i really loved the conversation.
the pineapple air freshener is my favorite kind.
do you want the house tour?
i promise none of this is a metaphor.
i just want you to come inside.
what's mine is now yours.
the couch is really comfy.
got some chips ahoy if you're hungry.
you don't need to love me.
never enter through the back door.
i spent a little fortune on the waxed floors.
we can be a little reckless, 'cause it's insured.
i'm pleasured to be your hot tour guide.
my house is on pretty girl avenue.
my house was especially built for you.
some say it's a place where dreams come true.
my house can be your house too.
are you coming in or what?
broke my heart on saturday.
guess overnight your feelings changed.
i have cried so much i've almost fainted.
i wish i had a gun or words.
you're not bilingual, but you should know.
you're losing me for life.
can't call it love then call it quits.
can't shoot me down then shoot the shit.
did you forget it was you who said goodbye?
you don't get to be the one who cries.
can't have your cake and eat it too.
by walking out, that means you choose.
the feeling's so specific.
wanna punch you every minute.
just give it three weeks.
forgive my french, but fuck you.
shit, when did you get here?