Whoa

this has a completely different meaning this year than last year doesn’t it

You’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person

why did it take me so long to realize?

me vague posting on Facebook when my friends and family won’t give me a $1500 cash gift for my wedding

I hate feeling like people are getting bored of me

You’re not here to entertain anybody

wow you’re right

I love that this implies that the only thing keeping souls out of Heaven is an actual physical fence and seems to imply that its possible to break in.

im gonna break into heaven and kill god with my bare hands

this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever seen

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

When the tea is HOT LAVA

This is a real problem, however while we don’t have this museum, we do have The National Museum of American Indian (yeah I hate the name too) that actually describes a lot of the bullshit Native Americans have had to go through. There is a room completely dedicated to every treaty that the US government made with Native Americans and then back out on (honestly it’s the saltiest museum I’ve ever been in) They have stuff from the trail of tears to modern day issues. I would encourage everyone, especially my white friends who don’t know much about Native American culture or history, to go check it out.

Update: I was wrong, we do have this museum! I encourage everyone to check out the American Indian Genocide Museum in Dallas Texas. They participate in a lot of activism and education. 

Or “little Jonathan doesn’t talk but does a good job herding the sheep, contributes to the community in his own way, and is, all around, a decent guy.” That happened a lot, too, especially before the 19th century.

Weirdly enough, that legend is now comforting to me.

“…disability exists in the context of the environment.”

Reblog for disability commentary.

That last paragraph is absolutely important.

“How come nobody ever heard of ‘dyslexia’ until widespread literacy became a thing?”

Shit is crazy out here

I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem has ceased. Smdh

no shame in doing the same thing over and over if it makes you happy! go and read that book again, listen to that song for the 10000th time, watch that movie over and over. it’s your life babey!