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#and thus #my final duolingo #duolingo #i should mention that my next message after this was ‘ARE YOU KIDDING ME?’#just so you can invision the beautiful moment

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(Trying to be normal at the office party):

What doesn’t jork me makes me freakier 👅 am I right Daniel?

cherryhatter-deactivated2015072

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

#*kick*#kicking the can!!!

girlmuppet

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

batmanisagatewaydrug

yeah hang on

batmanisagatewaydrug

ignore the title of this google doc because it's a long story but it's a really solid recipe for southwest chicken alfredo

this is a vegetarian potato curry recipe that's about 75% spices; once you get the potatoes in there you can really do whatever you want with it

this is literally just pasta, broccoli, and cheese babey and you can live off that shit for DAYS it makes such a big portion

bro this spinach/pesto/3 cheese flatbread is so fucking tasty bro

also you can make the flatbread yourself it's super quick!!

oh hey I'm eating this white chickpea chili right now, much like the curry it's mostly spices and you can do p much do whatever you want with it

don't let the name fool you these potatoes are delicious any time. not just breakfast.

this is slightly more than five ingredient when you add them together but if you have time and really wanna fuckin treat yourself I recommend these chicken strips + this cornbread + either these potatoes or these buttered veggies on the side.

dragonforsale

These are my two favorite comfort foods. They're very easy to make and dont take long to cook.

Garlic butter rice

Orzo mac and cheese (comes out a little bit soupy)

shadowblinder

this recipe for gogumabap (sweet potato and rice) saved my life when i couldn't eat hardly anything for a long time. the recipe itself calls for a heavy bottomed pot but you can absolutely use a rice cooker and put the rice and diced sweet potato in together and just let the machine do its thing

butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway

If you have a crockpot, I do a really good pulled pork carnitas that is:

Pork - any cut boneless

Onions- chopped anyway you like

Orange juice - about one cup (you can use about 2 tablespoons of the condensed frozen stuff if you have it)

Root beer, pepsi, or other cola soda - about one cup

Preferred chili mix seasoning - 1-2 packets depending on how intense you like your flavoring and how much pork you put in

Garlic - as much as you wanna, specifically smashed not cut

Canned or frozen corn - to your preference

Dump all that into your crockpot in the morning (or the night before) and let it run on low until dinner. Cook some rice if you feel like it, or just serve over tortillas.

anarchblr

bro WTF, I wanna try this just for the sheer shit of it

#food #how not to die when I live alone: the food saga

ZUTARA is OUT. ZUKKA is also OUT. ZUKO getting ADOPTED by HAKODA so they become FAMILY is IN

#ignore the clickbait youtube phrasing I just needed to make my point clear #only ship wars here is about the firenations naval fleet #prince zuko #zuko atla #atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #found family #<- I love that trope so much

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tea-toot

My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay

boot-tea

I’ll hit you with my cane

tea-toot

Stop fucking liking this post it’s been almost a year and suddenly i’ve been getting at least one notification every day about it I don’t even remember making the og post

tea-toot

Stop

#the saga returns #fav

charlataninred

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

meraarts

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

eater-of-hopes-and-dreams

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

blitzlowin

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

charlataninred

I am in love with you /p

inkvoices

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

inkvoices

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

lightningladybug

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

inkvoices

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

dannnnnnnnnnnnex

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

crackheadgremlin-deactivated202

its not a book nor banned but honestly? unknown stories or those cherished by few are also important so here.

Also adding a couple of my favorites! Long Forgotten God and the kindergarten class

Angels and Demons accidental sandwich

snakebites-and-ink

May I add:

45. Intergalactic Red Cross

46. Being Villagers

47. The monster under the fridge

48. Humans are the only species with a concept of vengeance

49. The Blue Key

50. Different stories resonate with different people comic

51. Whalefall horror comic

52. The Fox God comic

53. The Stone of Possibility

54. Worthless War

snakebites-and-ink

Wait I have more: (including many from the notes)

55. A Pool in the Heart of the Forest (comic)

56. I am asking you to endure it (+notes)

57. You Help Kill Heroes

58. The witch who raised herself

59. My pilot is good

60. Hsthete (comic)

61. Variations on the Frog and the Scorpion

62. The monster under the bed

63. Cleric slamming healing spells (microstory)

64. The Priest of Arepo

65. The Villain Wrangler

66. Old Gods vs Aliens

67. Last Contact

68. Dragon on a farm

69. Antler Guy

70. Bakery with mythical customers

71. ‘Port

72. The king prophesied to defeat evil

73. The Night Gentlemen

74. In love with a sphynx

75. A fae asks for your name

76. Once their home

77. When you die in the ocean (comic)

78. Toad Words

79. Kisses and Curses (comic)

80. And the Heavens Wept

81. Healer kicked out of the party

Also “tumblr storytime” is such a cute thing to call it

#tumblr stories #fav #master post

daysneezes

So here's what I've been working on for the past month

alphajn

This doesn't have NEARLY ENOUGH views GUYS. GIYS!!!!!! GUUUUUYS

#HOLY MOLY THATS SO GOOD #sfawtde #dawtde #awtde #searching for a world that doesn't exist #destroying a world that doesn't exist #averythemayo #d3rlord3 #derek hutchins

I don’t care if your neurons are diverging I still can’t remember the scientific definitions of half life

#science #i hate science #it’s so simple but I’m still 3 grades behind

ovadrive

castellankurze

The Gimli Glider is one of those stories where every aspect sounds more fake than the last and yet it all actually happened.

-A passenger plane was underloaded with fuel because Canada had just converted to the metric system and everyone supposed to double check their numbers got it wrong. -When the plane ran out of fuel they were too far away to make it to an in-service airport and had to head towards the Gimli military base. Which was shuttered. -They were coming in to fast due to a lack of flaps control and had to perform a series of slips (as shown in the video above) to slow down, basically drifting a giant passenger plane. -As they come down they realized that just because Gimli’s been decommissioned doesn’t mean it’s abandoned because a bunch of people are having drag races on the runway they’re about to need. -Despite everything they managed to land safely and no one was killed or even hurt which is why it’s one of the best air disasters to meme on.

zanmor

The Wikipedia page on this is fantastic and my favorite line from it is “Flying with all engines out was never expected to occur, so it had never been covered in training.”

lesferatu

Nice

#holy fucking shit #godspeed you crazy bastard #yay yippeee the plane and people survived!!!!

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billiam-watterson

I hate Britain because the weather is so consistently abysmal that anytime it gets above 20°C my entire nervous system shuts down fully

billiam-watterson

Nvm the UKs back on its bullshit. My house flooded.

#british weather

wingdingle

attention to all dashcon attendees

someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag

stay out of the ballpit

wingdingle

there are people who think this is a joke

this is not a joke

please stay out of the ballpit for the safety of your health

defunctblog1

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

thetyrannosaur

#tumblr hall of fame #dashcon #dashcon ballpit

just found this lovely lady i forgot about sitting in my drafts. I think it was based on an old-ish DTIYS but i can't find the original image :|

#my art #aliens #DTIYS

windows defender..... you told me it would only take an hour....

#thought i had malware from downloading too much stuff online #turns out my computer's just shit #windows defender

I hate Britain because the weather is so consistently abysmal that anytime it gets above 20°C my entire nervous system shuts down fully

#might also be the seasonal depression but I’m not missing any opportunity to shit on england #it’s so fucking hot #I’ve wasted a solid 6 hours today lying next to a fan on full power that doesn’t really do anything. it’s only 30 degrees.#I’m not used to this and I Am Miserable.#britain

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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Goncharov vs Lord of Light/Argo is great because it proves the human urge to create fake films in both high and low stress environments

#the people yearn to lie #i feel like I’ve been reincarnated just to fall in love with my spouse again #goncharov #goncharov 1973 #lord of light #Argo film #Argo 2012

Love going to get an eye test because all the staff are wearing glasses. All. of them. I’m in safe hands

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