noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
d e v o n

Kiana Khansmith
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
Mike Driver

"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER

oozey mess
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
NASA

blake kathryn
styofa doing anything
Claire Keane

@theartofmadeline
seen from Russia
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@billiam-watterson

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(Trying to be normal at the office party):
What doesn’t jork me makes me freakier 👅 am I right Daniel?
KICK THE CAN!
Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner
yeah hang on
ignore the title of this google doc because it's a long story but it's a really solid recipe for southwest chicken alfredo
this is a vegetarian potato curry recipe that's about 75% spices; once you get the potatoes in there you can really do whatever you want with it
this is literally just pasta, broccoli, and cheese babey and you can live off that shit for DAYS it makes such a big portion
bro this spinach/pesto/3 cheese flatbread is so fucking tasty bro
also you can make the flatbread yourself it's super quick!!
oh hey I'm eating this white chickpea chili right now, much like the curry it's mostly spices and you can do p much do whatever you want with it
don't let the name fool you these potatoes are delicious any time. not just breakfast.
this is slightly more than five ingredient when you add them together but if you have time and really wanna fuckin treat yourself I recommend these chicken strips + this cornbread + either these potatoes or these buttered veggies on the side.
These are my two favorite comfort foods. They're very easy to make and dont take long to cook.
Garlic butter rice
Orzo mac and cheese (comes out a little bit soupy)
this recipe for gogumabap (sweet potato and rice) saved my life when i couldn't eat hardly anything for a long time. the recipe itself calls for a heavy bottomed pot but you can absolutely use a rice cooker and put the rice and diced sweet potato in together and just let the machine do its thing
If you have a crockpot, I do a really good pulled pork carnitas that is:
Pork - any cut boneless
Onions- chopped anyway you like
Orange juice - about one cup (you can use about 2 tablespoons of the condensed frozen stuff if you have it)
Root beer, pepsi, or other cola soda - about one cup
Preferred chili mix seasoning - 1-2 packets depending on how intense you like your flavoring and how much pork you put in
Garlic - as much as you wanna, specifically smashed not cut
Canned or frozen corn - to your preference
Dump all that into your crockpot in the morning (or the night before) and let it run on low until dinner. Cook some rice if you feel like it, or just serve over tortillas.
bro WTF, I wanna try this just for the sheer shit of it
ZUTARA is OUT. ZUKKA is also OUT. ZUKO getting ADOPTED by HAKODA so they become FAMILY is IN

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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My new goal is to jail @boot-tea and @teaboot for being gay
I’ll hit you with my cane
Stop fucking liking this post it’s been almost a year and suddenly i’ve been getting at least one notification every day about it I don’t even remember making the og post
Stop
Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
Might I add:
The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child
The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
The adventures of a space roomba
Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)
I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head
hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):
The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
The Monster of Sentan
The Witch’s Cat
Raise Both Children
Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
Pirates and Mermaid
Eindred and the Witch
The Demon King
The Cornerwitch
Grandmother Beetroot
Apocalypse Daycare Worker
Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
New Year Saga
A Story About Changelings
Ranger in the King’s Forest
The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
Goblin Men (Canines)
I am in love with you /p
Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella
21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
adding the Doctors Without Borders one
I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!
24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children
25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard
26. Haunted house
27. Shark hero was about to go rogue
28. Grandma lives in the woods comic
29. A Different Aftermath comic
30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)
31. It’s A Date comic
32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay
33. Narrative Town
34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic
35. Robot Apocalypse
36. The Statues That Do Not Weather
37. Kushiel
38. Tooth Fairy
39. Alien abduction
40. Felonious wish-granting
41. When humans met actual space orcs
42. Space cousins
WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD
its not a book nor banned but honestly? unknown stories or those cherished by few are also important so here.
Also adding a couple of my favorites! Long Forgotten God and the kindergarten class
Angels and Demons accidental sandwich
May I add:
45. Intergalactic Red Cross
46. Being Villagers
47. The monster under the fridge
48. Humans are the only species with a concept of vengeance
49. The Blue Key
50. Different stories resonate with different people comic
51. Whalefall horror comic
52. The Fox God comic
53. The Stone of Possibility
54. Worthless War
Wait I have more: (including many from the notes)
55. A Pool in the Heart of the Forest (comic)
56. I am asking you to endure it (+notes)
57. You Help Kill Heroes
58. The witch who raised herself
59. My pilot is good
60. Hsthete (comic)
61. Variations on the Frog and the Scorpion
62. The monster under the bed
63. Cleric slamming healing spells (microstory)
64. The Priest of Arepo
65. The Villain Wrangler
66. Old Gods vs Aliens
67. Last Contact
68. Dragon on a farm
69. Antler Guy
70. Bakery with mythical customers
71. ‘Port
72. The king prophesied to defeat evil
73. The Night Gentlemen
74. In love with a sphynx
75. A fae asks for your name
76. Once their home
77. When you die in the ocean (comic)
78. Toad Words
79. Kisses and Curses (comic)
80. And the Heavens Wept
81. Healer kicked out of the party
Also “tumblr storytime” is such a cute thing to call it
So here's what I've been working on for the past month
This doesn't have NEARLY ENOUGH views GUYS. GIYS!!!!!! GUUUUUYS
I don’t care if your neurons are diverging I still can’t remember the scientific definitions of half life
The Gimli Glider is one of those stories where every aspect sounds more fake than the last and yet it all actually happened.
-A passenger plane was underloaded with fuel because Canada had just converted to the metric system and everyone supposed to double check their numbers got it wrong. -When the plane ran out of fuel they were too far away to make it to an in-service airport and had to head towards the Gimli military base. Which was shuttered. -They were coming in to fast due to a lack of flaps control and had to perform a series of slips (as shown in the video above) to slow down, basically drifting a giant passenger plane. -As they come down they realized that just because Gimli’s been decommissioned doesn’t mean it’s abandoned because a bunch of people are having drag races on the runway they’re about to need. -Despite everything they managed to land safely and no one was killed or even hurt which is why it’s one of the best air disasters to meme on.
The Wikipedia page on this is fantastic and my favorite line from it is “Flying with all engines out was never expected to occur, so it had never been covered in training.”
Nice

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I hate Britain because the weather is so consistently abysmal that anytime it gets above 20°C my entire nervous system shuts down fully
Nvm the UKs back on its bullshit. My house flooded.
attention to all dashcon attendees
someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag
stay out of the ballpit
there are people who think this is a joke
this is not a joke
please stay out of the ballpit for the safety of your health
Ancient scribes detailing horrible events
just found this lovely lady i forgot about sitting in my drafts. I think it was based on an old-ish DTIYS but i can't find the original image :|
windows defender..... you told me it would only take an hour....
I hate Britain because the weather is so consistently abysmal that anytime it gets above 20°C my entire nervous system shuts down fully

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Goncharov vs Lord of Light/Argo is great because it proves the human urge to create fake films in both high and low stress environments
Love going to get an eye test because all the staff are wearing glasses. All. of them. I’m in safe hands