creatures keep on creaching

can you put that thing on a leash?

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.

if you see hardware on yhe ground like a washer or a hex nut you have to pick it up because it’s lonely and scared. if you see any metal on the ground you have to pick it up because it’s alone and scared and lonely.

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

We need to start sexualizing the janitor's jumpsuit as the butch equivalent of the maid's uniform

That thing where the coveralls are unzipped and the arms are tied around their waist like a belt...

would you still love me if i was a small iridescent freshwater fish

GRAAAGH! I'm so hungry and I can't catch anything! If only I had ampullae of Lorenzini to help me sense where my prey is. Hey... You wouldn't happen to have some, would you?