Untitled Goose Blog

My two favorite ships in the whole wide world, Rebelcaptain and Byler, are loathed by the general audience. And I wear it as a badge of honor.

"I haven’t been Mike the Brave for a long time. But of course I haven't, because you're not here. You make me brave. That's how the whole thing works."

So one common criticism of Stranger Things S5 is that no major characters died or were even really hinted to be in danger, and thus there were no emotional stakes. I'm not really keen on seeing characters I like suffer, but: Will’s connection to Henry means they both must die for the world to be saved. Will prepares to sacrifice himself. At the last minute, Mike takes him by the hand. "You're not going alone. I would rather die with you than live without you." They embrace and disappear. "Heroes" starts playing. Everybody claps. Is this anything?

So Mike and Eleven can make out sloppy style at age 13 but legal adult Will Byers can't get a lil smoocherino from his legal adult epilogue boyfriend ooooooookaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy

I hate to say it because I am not a fan of this writing choice but I'm pretty sure you win the ship war by default if both members of the couple are alive at the end

The general audience/haters/bitches keep making fun of Bylers and other fans for "still" discussing the show ("It's almost March bro let it go!!1!1), but that's such a braindead take. Worthwhile media is still talked about long after it ends; that's how we know it's worth our while. Hell, critics are still fighting about whether or not "Ode to a Grecian Urn" is actually about an urn. That's because it's a good-ass poem.

You know what, I think Vecna won. Fuck it.

Something I've learned the hard way is that there is a certain segment of every fandom that will gobble up the main heterosexual couple like they're starving dogs. They will never, ever question it. It is exempt from all analysis or criticism. It doesn't matter if the characters have the same effect on each other as toxic mold spores. They are The Canon Couple and dissent will simply not be tolerated. I know there's nothing I can do about this but as a fellow straight I want to take a firm stance against hetslop.