To be Cringe is to be Free

i love my misandrist mother i asked her one time if she liked lord of the rings and she said “i’m tired of men going on adventures”

i am so obsessed with the way dan and phil perform a whole ass song every tour when it has absolutely nothing to do with their regular content and neither of them are particularly vocally trained. like they really woke up one day when writing tatinof and said fuck it

halo lore is so fucking funny to me. all it really needed to be was 'youre john halo and youre a badass space marine that doesnt afraid of anything' but instead youre a war orphan created by the space CIA to be a robo-pinkerton to put down galactic worker revolts, but luckily whole hordes of you were created right in time for the most evil alien empire to ever exist to make first contact with us by nuking a planet to glass

also, the evil alien empire isnt doing this because theyre evil, their trio of space popes asked an ancient sacred AI what the fuck humans were and the ai was like 'oh those are ants that god loves more than you' and the popes immediately decided the only way to keep their cushy jobs and big dumb hats was to annihilate the human race. it almost worked, too! luckily, one of the robo-pinkertons is so freakishly lucky an AI noticed the statistical anomalies surrounding him and took him in as her favorite little meow meow and now they have a toxic co-dependent relationship and are going to nuke alien new york

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

doomscrolling thru the weather app

The concept of phil putting chappell roan on their Tomodachi life Island but not following her on instagram