cats have to be very small but they are allowed to do as many crimes as they want. that's the deal they made with god

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@bigeeltrap
cats have to be very small but they are allowed to do as many crimes as they want. that's the deal they made with god

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pandemic:
poor people: maybe rich people will open their purses
rich people: alwexa plway imwawgine bwy jwohn lwenon š„ŗ
Reblog to support them

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āweirdā is just a setting on my dryer
whats it do?
makes the clothes wetter
That is weird
so i was talking to my grandmother about old-school video games and she was all āy'know there was one game i used to play, and it had like a maze, and it was underground, and there was a guy in first person and he had a weaponā so knowing her penchant for puzzle games, i started guessing like myst, or legend of grimrock so we start hunting through these 90ās-era games featuring dungeon crawls. turns out. it was not a puzzle game. it was nothing close to a puzzle game. apparently, in the mid-90s, my grandmother would sit down and play fucking Wolfenstein 3D and listen to AC/DC for like hours on end.
Au contraire, the puzzle was āhow to kill Nazisā and the answer was āuse gunā

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THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.
i thought it was just me
sir, thatās my emotional support titty
So last night was my first welding class and the second i walked through the door the teacher saidĀ āhey youāre zoe rightā and I started to panic because how does the teacher immediately know who I am fuck did I have this teacher before how come i donāt recognize him fuck fuck iām a terrible person
turns out iām just the youngest person in the class by about 30 years so the deduction wasnāt that hard
anyways, apparently people keep taking the welding class over and over again and the wait list is like 100 people long and so it was by some act of providence of pure dumb luck that I managed to get a spot. This also means I was the only person there who hadnāt welded before.
Iām stationed at a big center table where the teacher can keep an eye on me, and everyone else is in booths on the surrounding walls each making their own projects. And these are impressive looking projects. One guy is making a side table, a woman is making a giant metal rocking chair, and another guy was making a wind chime out of old compressed air canisters.Ā
The elderly gentlemen in the booth right behind me introduces himself to me as Jim and asks me if this is my first time and I say yeah and he smiles at me and tells me Iām gonna love it and how this class is so fun.
Immediately Jim becomes my new best friend. He comes over whenever I stop to take a break and asks how Iām doing and even helps me take the welding mask off when I couldnāt figure out how to do it myself.Ā
at one point i see Jim and another old guy talking to the teacher and i catch the old guy pointing at me. now being pointed at is usually never a good thing. the teacher has had me welding edges of scrap metal together so I can get a feel for the equipment. The teacher comes to check on me and I jokingly as him if those seasoned guys were making fun of me.Ā
Turns out Iām super good at welding and the old guy didnāt believe it was my first time welding ever and Jim was trying to convince him I was a newbie. :D
So for the entire 3 hour long class, like 15 middle aged and elderly people would periodically come by my table and check in with me, making sure Iām having fun and asking me questions about my life, and things like, do you know where the drinking fountain is, making sure Iām taking breaks, looking out for me and that kind of thing,Ā all while being completely kind and supporting and complimenting me on my welding skills.Ā
and thatās how a community center welding class gave me 15 new grandparents. i love them all and this class is going to be amazing
this is so pure
i donāt want to see anyone be sexy anymore. tired of it. bored. have sex or wahtevr i donāt care just stop being sexy ⦠itās been done to death.. at least like spill some juice on ur jeans or somethin so i can relate 2 u⦠make that face that is like āthis baby carrot that iām eating isnāt like sweet it is instead that weird boring carrot flavorā it looks like this :\ but with bigger cheeks because u are eating the carrot anyways because you donāt want to waste it. UGH . hello ? i am typing on my keyboard to you. can you hear me ?Ā

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turning feminism from a radical social movement with the capacity to create real change into a fun quirky fandom that you can buy merch for at urban outfitters is one of the worst crimes of late stage capitalism/21st century western individualism. the current state of feminism is damning evidence that thereās no way to kill an activist movement more effectively than commodifying it.