Foodie. Reader. FA. Soft Feedist. Casual Gainer.

Grazing is the hottest way someone can gain. Imagine spending all day just casually eating little by little so that you're always fairly full throughout the day, but not so overstuffed that you'll be sick from it later. It's hard to tell how much you can really eat until you actually give your body time to digest what you give it.

Recent events in the feedism community have made me recognise the need for a database compiling all useful resources on practicing this feedism ethically and safely. So I’m making one.

If you are new to feedism or been in the community for a long time, I demand you read this.

Concerning Safety:

- The wonderful @feederwithbighands has some words for you about cybersecurity…

https://feederwithbighands.tumblr.com/post/641980567506845697/oh-and-use-long-passwords-i-dont-give-a-fuck-if

- This guy’s fairly new, but we now have our own superhero! @feedismbatman will help you call out toxic individuals whilst remaining anonymous:

https://feedismbatman.tumblr.com/

Concerning morality:

- As a website, https://fantasyfeeder.com has a lot of problems, and, as probably the first dedicated online feedist community out there, are probably in some small part for fostering the community’s toxic culture. However, their YouTube channel has this really great video on how to be an ethical feedist and not ruin people’s lives. Please watch this, especially if you’re new to feedism:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBRrgBPMAB4

- Is it egotistical of me to cite myself? Probably, but over 200 reblogs can’t be wrong. This post of mine absolutely blew up back in November and is still doing the rounds, and as my most popular post i guess it’s inadvertedly made me kind of an authority on ethical feedism, so check it out:

https://justanotherworthlessweirdo.tumblr.com/post/632513996135776256/why-the-community-is-toxic-this-post-is-gonna-get

- There are a lot of misconceptions about feedism, even within the community itself. This article by Marie Southard Ospina on https://everydayfeminism.com/ helps clarify some of those misconceptions, and shows how you can be a kinder and more ethical feedist. Particularly recommend this one to feeders.

https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/10/assumptions-about-fat-fetishism/

- On similar lines, here’s Ospina again, discussing the relationship of feedism to the fat acceptance movement. A lot of fat activists hate us, in part due to some of the misconceptions Ospina listed above and in part because our community is so full of incels, but if you’re a feedist, you should be for fat acceptance.

https://saltyworld.net/why-i-stand-by-the-fat-fetish-community/

- If you’re into podcasts, Wood’s Weird Wellness is one I highly recommend, featuring engaging discussion of the ethics and politics of feedism with some of the kink’s most well-known creators. Really great stuff.

https://open.spotify.com/show/10RtF0mlNdkEzZTQ7Rq18C

- A generalised discussion on how NOT to be a feedist.

https://justanotherworthlessweirdo.tumblr.com/post/625914600908521472/toxic-people-in-the-feederism-community

Final Thoughts (please read)

Please, please, please, SUGGEST RESOURCES I MAY HAVE MISSED. I’ll keep updating this post with them. In particular, it would be nice to have some useful introduction to fat politics, preferably an article: I remember m-ary had some good links for that but of course those links aren’t still active, which is partly why a post like this needs to exist. More resources on safety in feedism would also be useful, though I’d assume there aren’t too many. Finally, not to beg for likes like some dumb influencer, but for god’s sake if you’re in this community,

REBLOG THIS POST!!!!!

on Instagram:

fatgirlow

comfyfattravels

mynameisjessamyn

themilitantbaker

sonyareneetaylor

thebodyisnotanapology

yrfatfriend

Podcasts and books:

The body is not an apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings

Hunger by Roxanne Gay

The Life Thief by Christy Harrison

Food Psych is an amazing resource, as Christy Harrison interviews so many different people that all have something important to offer to the discussion.

I've been thinking about some of the red flags I've seen in feedist circles over the years, primarily displayed by feeders.

here are some signs to watch out for when you're with a feeder:

🚩 they only say "feederism" (which centers feeders in the community, pushing feedees to the margins) and never "feedism." 🚩 they ask for payment in return for encouragement, but refuse to help you deal with the cost of gaining (e.g. outgrowing your entire wardrobe, eating more food). 🚩they constantly lament their attraction to fat people and/or preference for fat bodies. 🚩 they're unprepared for the realities of having a feedee/fat partner. 🚩 they care more about your size than your happiness. 🚩 their idea of what counts as 'fat' is inherently tied to a certain weight. 🚩they're staunchly anti fat acceptance/liberation/etc. 🚩 they make you talk about your traumatic experiences with fatphobia because it turns them on. 🚩 they try to force you to wear only tight and/or revealing clothes by any means necessary. 🚩 if/when you lose weight, whether intentionally or not, they get angry at or disappointed in you. 🚩 they constantly try to push your limits when you haven't asked them to. 🚩 they pressure you into aspects of feedism that you aren't comfortable engaging in. 🚩 they're unwilling to incorporate broader kink best practices such as aftercare, safewords, RACK checklists, etc. 🚩 they don't support sex workers' rights and/or accuse feedists (especially feedees) in this community who ask for money of being "fakers." 🚩 they play oppression olympics (acting like any marginalized groups they're part of "have it worse" than fat people, therefore they're *always* the victim and you're *always* the one at fault). 🚩 they don't believe fat people are a marginalized group whatsoever, or refuse to say whether or not they do. 🚩 they believe stereotypes about fat people and treat us as a monolith (e.g. "all fat people are greedy" and "the fatter someone is, the lazier they are" etc.) 🚩 they throw a temper tantrum when you retract your consent/change your mind about how big you want to be.

Looking up new places beforehand to check that they are accessible for your partner's size (chairs without sides, tables that aren't booths, aisles wide enough, etc)

Making sure they can safely use the seatbelts in your car (long enough to be buckled while placed as close to the hips as possible). Offer to buy them an extender if your car's seatbelts are too short.

Ensuring your furniture choices have weight limits your partner can safely use and that your towels are big enough

Being prepared to buy some specialty furniture/household items and to buy some items more often, like mattresses, desk chairs, or couches/couch cushions

Are there functional places in your house that are inaccessible? (E.g., I lived in an apartment where, when the dishwasher was open, there was about a foot or two's space between the door and the cabinets, making putting away dishes less straightforward if you couldn't fit in that space.) Ask if your partner wants you to do whatever household tasks are necessary in those spots.

Your partner might have experienced medical trauma due to the severely fatphobic medical system, so listen to and learn about their experiences and needs around medical care (e.g., I ask my partner if they want me to go with them to appointments for moral support and I have when they wanted me to, and I research medical symptoms and conditions and how they're entwined with fatphobia so they're armed with facts at appointments).

Be ready to confront any assumptions and misinformation you have about health conditions that are typically associated with higher weight in the event that your partner has or receives one of these diagnoses. (Spoiler alert: pretty much all of them aren't actually caused by weight gain and pretty much all of them are made worse by intentional weight loss in the long run.)

May I *highly* recommend investing in a king size bed if your partner is or plans to be on the bigger end of the spectrum?

why should you change it?

When you guys pop up in our notifications, most seasoned tumblr users will suspect you’re a bot and block on sight.

why do we block immediately?

tumblr has a history of bots trying to infiltrate and establish a connection to a valid, existing blog in order to populate google searches. Simply liking or reblogging a post, not just adding a scam link to it, establishes this connection. Tumblr users don’t want this to happen, especially if it’s a scammy p*rn bot. So, we often block on sight.

So now I have to reblog stuff AND change my pfp?

Well, of course that’s up to you! I just want to explain why you may have been already blocked by an artist/blogger you may have discovered recently, and how you can avoid it in the future.

Reblogging does help creators more than likes because your reblogs will show up on the dash of those that may follow you. Plus, reblogging puts that post on your own blog, and in case the original gets deleted or edited by the OP, it’ll be on your blog like that–forever (or until you delete your blog). Nice.

Here are some free icons created by catalyststuff on freepik. Highly recommend their art for a simple replacement!

📣📣📣📣📣📣📣📣📣

I dont really block users with default pfps as of now, but if you do have one I’d really appreciate it if you use one of these other pfps so that I know you’re not a bot. Along with reblogging as the above post has said.

When I first started this blog I didnt really look into blogs that much, as I grew in followers I decided to start checking everyone.

I look through almost all of my followers blogs for a brief moment just to make sure you’re not a bot, a minor, or have posted p○rn. (If I have blocked you, you fell into one or more of the category.)

But I am considering looking through everyone again and blocking default pfps. Not now. But somewhere in the future.

I will also be looking for your age in the bio. I’ll be happy with the following:

Age 18 and above, 18+, 20 something, birth date, birth year

I get that you created a blog just to browse and nothing more, but I’m just looking for signs of life.