DNI: Everyone ❤️

pussy so good im standing

like im standing up

i go to the ytp bar and order the usual. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of me. i pick it up, raise it to my lips, and set it back down, repeating all of this while gradually accelerating until i have finished the drink. my favorite way to spend a frirfday evenineve

trans people will literally go “i have a complicated relationship with my history with gender and sometimes see it as a gender i ‘used to be’ and i don’t really look like a cis person of either gender and i don’t think i can fit it into simple categories” and everyone will spontaneously combust

i remember being at some lgbtqia+ group when i was at an all girl’s school and i was one of two trans people, i was the only butch or even vaguely masculine person in the room, and i said something along the lines of “i consider myself a guy who used to be a girl” and five minutes later one of my friends(if you would say that ig) went “yeah so he was always a boy, he just didn’t know it yet” about me. and i had to stand there like What Did I Just Say. Can Anyone Hear Me

now i make posts like “sometimes trans men used to be girls and sometimes trans women used to be boys and it’s ok if we think about it like that” and everyone immediately acts like they want me dead

They should have an oarfish emoji that’s four times as long as any other emoji

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.

btw dating sucks as a concept.

meeting up with someone with the explicit goal of figuring out whether or not you want a relationship with them spoils the dynamic. it sucks. it's terrible. fall in love with your friends like normal people.

as expected this one is a hit with the autism website