dms always welcome

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

blew a .15 blood mana on the breathalyzer at a necromancy checkpoint and the guardsman demanded to search my carriage trunk for skeletons. needless to say i went for his crossbow

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

thank god some sumerian editor wasn't all "gay shit doesn't sell"

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

i think we should stop having "kink at pride" discourse and START having "kink at the 4th of july" discourse. for no reason other than that it would be very funny

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

A grill worth fighting for

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life