Phil: So you know what Madlips are, we’ve both written a story that we need you to fill the blanks in with. We’re going to fill in some of our own blanks with each other, but you guys, we need you to submit objects, so anything you touch.
Dan: Imagine we’re in the middle of telling a story, we go: and then the *blank* what object would you like us to interact with in these stories? Any object you can think of, just send us that message. Do it now. Don’t be shy. Whatever pops into your head. Oh God.
Phil: Yeah, so that’s what’s going to happen. And Dan, while we are waiting for those, I need to get something from you, okay?
Dan: Okay, right. Hit me with your list of things.
Phil: I need an animal from you.
Dan: A… em, okay, I’m going to say a sausage dog, which according to one irate German follower of mine on Twitter is pronounced dAchshUNd, not a dashhund which is what I said.
Dan: They were like it’s spread out CH, beCaUsE it’s GERMAN! Sorry, it’s a dachhhhhhshund. Corrected. Sorry.
Phil: So I’m saying sausage dog. Dan, I also need an adjective.
Dan: No! Adjective. Dripping.
Dan: Yeah, sorry. *laughing*
Phil: I think gayly is an adverb.
Dan: Ehmm… Scarlett Johansson *laughing*
Phil: Scarlett Johansson.
Dan: What’s she done now? Right, go on.
Dan: A job? Ehmm… fisherman.
Phil: Fisherman. Nice. And I also need an exclamation. Like “wow!” or something. Something you say with an exclamation mark at the end.
Phil: TINGLY! Okay. Cool.
Dan: Did you need an adverb? Or did I just say gayly for no reason?
Phil: You just said gayly for no reason.
Dan: *hyena laughter* Okay.
Phil: So we’re not having gayly that not there.
—- Dan asks Phil for words, which will be in the Dan’s Madlips story post —-
Dan: We’ve got four objects so far, whose story should we start populating with whatever chaotic horror that you guys just submitted? I’m scared.
Phil: I think, should we do my story?
Dan: Okay, were we go. Play them, Phil.
Phil: Here we go. Right. I’m going to play them as I tell the story. My story.
Dan: Ah, okay! *nervous laugh*
Phil: My story is about Dan.
Phil: I’ve written a story about Dan.
Dan: Oh, have you? That’s so much worse.
Phil: Yeah. In his spare, I don’t know what these are going to be. In his spare time, Dan likes playing with his…
Audio submission: BUTT… plug! Butt plug, did you hear that ? Butt plugs.
*manic laughter from Dan*
Dan: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? As if that was the FIRST THING. Oh, hell.
Dan *hiding his face in his hands*: Fucking hell.
Phil: I’m not- I’m going to move on! His hair-
Phil *undeterred*: His hair looks like a…
Audio submission: Phil’s Tops Only bar.
Dan: Oh…. woah, what happens in the Tops Only bar and why does my hair look like it?
Phil: Covered in sausage dogs.
Phil: A word to describe Dan’s fashion sense is dripping.
Dan: Pppft, with SWAG. Thank you. Ah, thank you. Yeah?
Phil: He has a massive crush on Scarlett Johansson.
Dan: Eh… okay? I guess she’s flexible?
Phil: Yeah. Dan’s plan is spending his weekend sitting on a…
Audio submission: A sticky Nintendo Switch.
Dan: I hate this. I mean, really, just the first object set this whole thing up to be a horror movie. Yeah, okay.
Phil: He’s also going to spend his weekend eating…
Audio submission: A half empty bottle of tequila.
Dan: *laughing* Suing that bottle of tequila.
Phil: This is really painting a picture.
Dan: I’m glad that I wasn’t sitting on it. Yeah.
Phil: Yeah. Dan is secretly a…
Audio submission: Phil’s right hand.
Phil: Collector. You collect my right hands.
Dan: *hysterical laughter* I don’t want to know.
Dan: Oh God, anyway. Yeah. Yeah.
Phil: Yeah. To escape from the law, he’s going to get a job as a fisherman. And if you could describe him in one word, it would be tingly!
Dan: Well, what can I say. I hated that. That was awful. I’m extremely sad. And I hate everybody involved, including Phil. Wow.
Phil: *giggling* That started on a very disturbing note. And generally…
Dan: And it got WORSE, and the context just got worse from there. But hey I’m not-
Phil: I was just going to say that I’m glad this was not a YouTube video ‘cause I think that would have gotten demonetized immediately.
Dan: So I would- we’re going to get arrested. That’s that-
Dan: We can blame them completely.
Dan: But you know if I had half a bottle of tequila, that explains a lot.
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