𝚂𝚄𝙱𝙹𝙴𝙲𝚃 𝚉𝙴𝚁𝙾.

💥 💥 💥  𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙾, 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 !   indie JACK of bioware’s mass effect franchise.   canon compliant + mature themes.   est JULY 2021.   as LOVED BY tee:   twenty-three, she/her, aest.    #𝙱𝙸𝟶𝚃𝙸𝙲.   discord available to mutuals upon request.   quick links:   𝙳𝙾𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙴𝚁.   𝙶𝚄𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂.   𝙿𝙸𝙽𝙱𝙾𝙰𝚁𝙳.

   She shrugged as she picked up her water bottle from the ground, taking a sip from it before replying with a simple “ I’m so nice I’m sure they’ll hear me out. ” If there was one thing she knew it was that Cerberus was a bunch of merciless ASSHOLES who would probably tear her apart without hesitation. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to make jokes about them regardless of how serious she took them when it mattered. Right now, she knew she should use the chance to improve her skills as much as possible and despite the jokes she did what she could. She had relied on her old skills for too long, gotten comfortable when she SHOULDN’T have. Now was the time to try and correct that.

    “ Aw, you do care after all. ” She wouldn’t be surprised if she earned herself a shockwave right to the face for her comments one day but if anything, her willingness to bicker like this only showed she TRUSTED Jack. She had been so quiet for so long … Grissom had been a welcomed change in her life. She was grateful for that. “ But fine I’ll get on it. Would be kinda embarrassing if the kids just knock me on my ass during training. Imagine how my reputation would suffer! ” As if her reputation could suffer any more than it already had over the last few years. Being a Ryder kid already marked her as the black sheep everywhere, a failed barrier wouldn’t change THAT much anymore. But it would hurt the last remaining pieces of her pride enough for her to put more effort into it and maybe she had just enough common sense to agree Jack was right, this was important. But only maybe.

❛  𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚃, 𝚆𝙷𝚈 𝙳𝙸𝙳𝙽'𝚃 𝙸 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙺 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃?  ❜   she deadpans.   jack has been considerably less tense at the mention of cerberus, since getting her ass off their ship.   it was easier to joke when you weren’t laying in bed beside them.   plus, now she could gloat:  another daring escape under her belt, and one exploded facility later.   she still had the illusive man’s head to mount on a spike, but she’ll journal about that later.   jack rolls her eyes at ryder’s cooing, hurling one of the kids’ energy bars directly at her head.   ❛  𝙳𝙸𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃, 𝚁𝚈𝙳𝙴𝚁. 𝙸 𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝙰𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙺.  ❜   she sneers, unhappy her concern had been noted.

     𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑫 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑲𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 to keep the disdain from reaching too deeply into her features, but it briefly reveals itself in the faintest curl of a lip. jack’s right, however uncomfortable or bitter it may make her feel. to anyone looking, she’s now a part of cerberus, the illusive man’s most expensive and most loyal investment. (horizon had confirmed that, shepard remembers with a guilty churn of her stomach.) “look, i can’t promise you that we all make it out by the end of this, but you strike me as the sort of person that’s never been too worried about odds.” it’s good thing too, because the odds? outrageously stacked against them, laughably stacked against them, but if odds were truly determinative she knows that neither she nor the woman before her would have been dead long ago. “who knows,” a brief hint of a smile, “maybe by the end we’ll all be such good friends we can go out and get matching tats to celebrate surviving.” 

     a pause, scarred fingers gracefully gesturing towards jack’s limbs. “those all mean something, all of your tattoos?” scars and tattoos both tell stories, but only one comes by choice. her own body is testament to that, unmarked by ink or art but laced with scars like constellations.

the biotic notes shepard’s displeasure.   good, she thinks.   let her sit in it, a little longer.   jack wasn’t the bearer of bad news, but truth.   no matter how unpleasant it might be, she will be a dog with a bone.   she cocks her brow, slicing the silence with a sharp and humourless laugh.   ❛  𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙶𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙸𝚃 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚈?  ❜   she’ll agree with shepard, on that ---  odds didn’t mean shit.   and jack had the misfortune of arriving alive, time and time again.   she eyes the commander cynically.   ❛  𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙼𝙴?  ❜   becoming friends?   she almost laughs again.   ❛  𝙸'𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃, 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙿𝙰𝚁𝙳: 𝙿𝚄𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙵𝙵, 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸'𝙻𝙻 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴 𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙾𝙾𝙴𝙳 𝙾𝙽 𝙼𝚈 𝙰𝚂𝚂.  ❜   whether or not kira returns that particular gesture, is up for debate.   survival will be the least of her concerns.

   “ sounds  fun. ”    far  be  it  for  shepard  to  deny  a  crewmate  their  chance  for  catharsis,  especially  one  so  wound  up  as  jack.  she’d  probably  have  to  wheedle  the  illusive  man  for  the  appropriate  explosives,  dodging  questions  as  to  where  and  why.  she  doubts  he’ll  be  willing  to  assist  in  the  total  annihilation  of  something  he  likely  put  some  good  money  into            experimental  hellscape  or  not.

     “ as  long  as  there  aren’t  any  people  there,  i  don’t  see  why  not. ”

❛  𝙸... 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃?  ❜   now that hadn’t been the resounding ‘no’ she expected.   she studied the commander, gaze narrowed:  attempting to discern if she was serious.   shepard had already done her a favour, but this?   a few files were one thing, nuclear fire was another.   she waited for the catch, but none presented itself -----  not yet, anyway.   jack would be ready, when it came.   until then ... 

   “ Yeah, yeah, got it. ” Any other colleague and she would have straightened up and simply nodded, but she knew the forced politeness didn’t WORK on Jack. She was more than okay with that. Honesty was more important to her anyway. Besides, the woman was right. She had to work on her barriers, something she had known for a while but so far more or less NEGLECTED because she hadn’t found much use for it in a fight. With the kids however she finally had a good reason to sit her ass down and work on it properly. 

     “ Hey I know my barriers are shit but they’re not THAT bad, are they? ”, she asked, hands raised in a questioning gesture. “ At least they’re definitely getting better. A year ago I could barely keep one up at all. ” One of the many things caused by her need to hide certain things from others. Her biotics might have been better if only she hadn’t spent YEARS hiding them before. Insecurities over insecurities … but at least it was Jack who made note of them. Jack, in Sara’s eyes, was alright. With her it was always clear she didn’t pick on her because of petty reasons like her family name but because she believed she should or even could do better. Sara appreciated it … mostly anyway. 

shepard’s little war attracted all sorts.   and there was a war, the only problem is most people didn’t realise it had already begun;  neither had jack, before she was dragged aboard the normandy and forced to see the bug-monster, apocalyptic-death-robot light.   better that way, she supposed, that people didn’t know.   panic did no-one any good, not when they should be sharpening their swords.   which is exactly what jack planned to do.   she makes no mention of her old commander, at grissom;  she wasn’t interested in the fanfare, nor the criticism (whichever it may be, depending on who you asked).   but anyone with their ear to the ground could tell:  upticks in alliance recruitment campaigns, arms deals being brokered, emergency hires (herself and present company included) --- there was something brewing. and they’d all be burned, when it finally bubbled over.   best get in barrier practice, while they could.   

❛  𝚃𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝙴𝙽 𝚄𝙿 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚂𝙴 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚁𝚂, 𝙽𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴.  ❜   jack warns, doing her the kindness of waiting for the room to empty of students, first.   she had already been reprimanded for calling her coworkers dumbasses in front of the kids.   apparently, that sort of thing was frowned upon, at grissom.   but ryder, jack has already decided, wasn’t an idiot ---  which is why she helps her now;  even if the other instructors exchanged whispers about her family name.   jack was no stranger their stares, herself.   but she had proved herself, since arriving.   with any luck and a little practice, she bet sara would too.   ❛  ... 𝚄𝙽𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙶𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝙲𝙺𝙴𝙳 𝙾𝙽 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙰𝚂𝚂 𝙱𝚈 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽𝚂.  ❜   she jabs, but jack wagers ryder can take it.   sugarcoating it would do her no favours, after all.

      that’s  a  relief  .  .  .  shepard  has  never  second  -  guessed  jack’s  aptitude  for  destruction.  but  that’s  not  the  question  at  hand  :  it’s  the  commitment  to  the  cause  she’s  worried  about.  

      shepard  casts  around  for  somewhere  to  sit  but  finds  no  such  comfort  ,  so  she  remains  standing  ,  one  boot  propped  up  against  the  wall.  she  listens  ,  carding  through  what  she  knows  about  cerberus  silently  in  her  head.  she  knows  first  hand  the  lengths  the  group  will  go  to  test  their  hypotheses.  whatever  they  find  there  will  likely  be  another  strike  against  them.

      “  it’s  still  there?  what’s  it  called?  ”

❛  ... 𝚃𝙴𝙻𝚃𝙸𝙽 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙸𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈. 𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝚁𝙰𝙶𝙸𝙰.  ❜   said aloud, it sounded like a curse.   like if she whispered it three times in the mirror, a big bad in yellow and black would pop up behind her and drag her back.   they could certainly try.   she dropped shepard’s gaze, suddenly feeling small.   ❛  𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙴𝚁𝚂,  ❜   jack muttered bitterly, glancing around cagily.   and here she was:  right back under their thumb.   no, fuck that.   ❛  𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙶𝙾. 𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙶𝙾, 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙰 𝙱𝙸𝙶 𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙱𝙾𝙼𝙱.  ❜   her vitriol made its mighty return, suddenly venomous and decisive.   jack was sick of being afraid.

❝  MIGHT  NOT  BE  A  GOOD  LOOK  .  punching  her  at  grissom  academy  was  one  thing  ,  but  on  her  own  ship  ?  i  can’t  protect  you  from  the  consequences  ,  jack  .  ❞  it’s  all  lighthearted  teasing  as  garrus  echoes  the  motion  ,  dropping  into  a  chair  across  from  the  biotic  and  draping  an  arm  over  the  back  .  he  tosses  a  leg  over  his  knee  ,  a  comfortable  position  (  even  in  full  armor  )  .  ❝  — —  how  DID  they  find  you  for  grissom  ?  don’t  think  i  heard  that  story  yet  .  and  what  convinced  you  to  say  yes  ?  ❞

     𝑨 𝑩𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑭 𝑮𝑹𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑪𝑬 contours usually placid features, nose scrunching with a quick shake of her head. “yeah, i’d actually love it if you didn’t do that at all, so it looks like we’re on the same page.” as much as shepard loves her position, loves her crew and the entirety of this ship, the idea of becoming one of the people she’d so loathed all those years ago sits uncomfortably in her stomach. power corrupts people; she’d rather have respect. another shadow clouds her face and she’s reminded of the disdain, the disappointment in ashley’s gaze before she’d turned and walked away. it’s reflected in jack’s bright, cunning eyes and, for a brief moment, shepard resists the urge to look away. “not my friend,” she finally replies, a thin sheen of ice to her words, “but cerberus and the illusive man have to wait for now. there’s more going on here, things larger at play than all of us.” 

     unkillable. not quite right, she thinks, she’d died and the vast, dark emptiness had been the only thing she’d known for two years. then there’d been chaos and fire, not warm light or gentle reassurance like in all those stories. monstrous, the word whispers in her mind, perhaps monstrous instead. “well, for right now cerberus seems content to think i’m on their team, and their team has the credits we need for this.” arms fold over her chest and it’s a lazy answer, pathetic but all she can manage right now. “later down the line, maybe then i’ll become a problem.” a pause, a brief hint of a smile. “like you. my favorite people all tend to be problems, i’ve found.” 

she puzzles.   what kind of fuckin’ ship was shepard running?   a circus frigate, if jack’s presence was any indication.   freaks have a way of finding one another, she supposes.  it remained to be seen, if their current ringmaster was up to the task of containing them.   a tall order, where jack was concerned:  their headlining act.   she gauges the commander’s response, dissecting her with a critical gaze ---  old habits die hard.  a wild animal doesn’t forget the cold.   ❛  𝚂𝙴𝙴𝙼𝚂 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚃𝚈 𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙻𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙴.  ❜   she challenges, raising her chin and taunting confrontation.   silly little words like ‘reapers’ and ‘collectors’ didn’t mean much to her.   maybe all this bullshit was worth making deals with hades dog, but jack will bite the hand that feeds her rather than shake it ---  every single time.   ❛  𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃! 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚂 𝙳𝙴𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚄𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽, 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙱𝚄𝙻𝙻𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚃. 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙿𝙰𝚈 𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙳𝙴.  ❜   which was precisely dick, by the way.