All is well. In Skyhold now and the inkuister has allowed me to stay. Ambassadur Motilyet has been seeing to me most. She's a kind lady. Proper angel, her. Mutt keeps asking about you. It's wintur now. Stay warm, and I will visit soon as I can. I miss you.

P.S. I keep kraving your kolaczki. I'm hoping you can bake a few next time. Been taking to them wallnuts more. Better to pare with your compuny. I'll be thinking of you.

The room tick, tick, ticks. Henry hands the lady Montilyet the parchment he'd pored over for the better part of half an hour, the scrawl intrinsic to a peasant's hand, and feels in his chest a terrible burst of affection. He misses her — as he misses everyone, really. By the Maker. He feels a little bit naked. When the silence grows, he shuffles in his boots, his ears burned hot and ruddy.

"Is that not something I should know?" The boy's tone curls in equal inquiry at the Warden-Commander's question, pale eyes searching the elf's expression for any sort of disapproval. "Imari; trembling on the lips of a friend, blood ushered from his veins. He does not deny what he has done, not now...not with eyes blazing into him like the cold, steel sun's beam etched into the knights' plates...but he searches me for...help? an escape? I cannot know, but I want the same. The name. Imari, it is plead more than it is spoken. Help us. Fix this. All of us, lost...the weight...it is choking..."

Cole trails, shoulders rolling themself as if to relieve his body from a sudden chill. His gaze averts the Warden's; not entirely intimidated by them, but know his first impressions hadn't always landed with others, even with mages.

Well, especially with mages, really.

" What in the Maker's name are you on about, boy? " If he was here to try and mock them, he would have to do more than recite a few unsettling words. Whatever this was — it both felt like a massive WASTE of time and yet also something they could not simply cast aside. Maker, why did this kind of insanity always fall into their hands out of all people? " Shout it even louder across the whole damn place, will you? If this is your idea of flattery I'd like you to stop please and if this is some weird intimidation tactic it isn't working. You know I don't usually go around ANNOUNCING my arrival to everyone. It tends to not go well. " And maybe that was the idea, though the boy hardly seemed overly hostile or antagonistic in his actions and words. Just ... odd in a way they couldn't place.

~Taking a little break while one of them keep watch~

I'll always have a soft spot for Astrid and Eadwulf/the Blumentrio so there is a quick sketch !

(also below little sketches of how the cuddle pile worked before)

The way in which Anders can flounder around his emotions is entertaining to the elf, but not entirely a surprise. His conversation wasn't entirely unfamiliar to Behni, as he'd watched Anders charm his way into many a mage's heart (and garments besides) during their years in the Circle. He wondered if that was what he was trying at now, being his superior aside, perhaps their shared history had given the man some sort of leverage.

When he inquires into their book issue however, it forces a chuckle from Behni's lips, though he quickly brings up a balled fist to stifle himself. "So you propose we spend our hard earned sovereigns for my pleasure? That sounds a tad irresponsible, doesn't it?" He inquired, a gentle playfulness in his tone, before his gaze slowly sweeps across the keep; to those reinforcing the walls, to the smiths from Denerim and the remaining soldiers alike who patrolled the grounds. No, as nice as it sounded, this was his now...and the most important thing was to keep the people in his Keep safe from the attacks that were sure to come. His companions now had only been the start of what the Wardens could be...and if he began them on such weak foundations...

But of course Behni crushed any hopes he had in that department. He supposed it was kind of his job, in a way. Be the serious one, be the one to keep them all responsible and ensure they stuck to their DUTY — yeah he certainly knew why he was trying to get in their commander's good graces. Getting some leeway would be good for him, especially because Behni more than most knew of his reputation as a trouble maker. Perhaps his odds weren't so bad in that department after all and the moment the other did not entirely dismiss his idea he knew he had a CHANCE to get his way.

Just the thought of going their separate ways is enough to bring back the familiar twinge of wistful sorrow in his heart, felt every time they were forced to part. Now that there is a possibility of something else, a concrete possibility, the feeling had only grown more intense; if they both wish to stay together, if he is wanted as much as he wants... no amount of danger would be enough to dissuade him from this choice. And he thinks he is, watching Essek watch him; he thinks the longing in his friend's eyes is not a byproduct of his wishful thinking, as once feared, but a real reflection of his own. They no longer need to hold back from it; they do not need to stay away. There is little discussion to be had, Caleb thinks, on whether or not they should share a home. Why go back to his loneliness and condemn Essek to wander without a home, when they could share this?

He wants to make it clear he is as certain of this as he has ever been in his life; he wants Essek to understand how completely he means it, even as he hesitates to voice it plainly. The feeling catches in his throat, even as he hears the other call him special. It is not the first time he is described that way, not truly, but it feels different; being special to Essek feels different. With held breath, he waits for his friend to continue; notices the gentle trembling of his hand, exhales as it presses upon his chest, positioned just right to feel the anxious speed of his heartbeat, fluttering fast amidst the intensity of emotion tinging everything they have shared. His cheeks redden at the gesture, despite the fact that they had shared a kiss moments before. It is all new, still, and for a moment he wonders if he could ever get used to Essek touching him like this. Gods, he would like to.

There is barely a pause to blink, watching intently as he listens to that explanation, voicing of things he knew, to a point, and others he had not considered. The importance of the drow's work — his real work, the work he was devoted to heart and soul — is well known; the lengths Essek had gone for it are proof of his dedication as much as of the resistance he found within his own homeland. The lack of peers who understood him, too, is not altogether new; he knows the Nein had filled a void Essek had not even wanted to acknowledge, even if it was against his best designs (he knows, because they are the same; he knows, because it happened to him first). It does not make it clear to him, the reason why he had succeeded in earning this affection where others failed. Caleb would not describe himself as one of a kind; maybe he would have, before, when arrogance had easily tinged his worldview, when it had been easy to believe he deserved to be above everyone else. He is not devoid of it, he knows, not entirely, but now... now he fears disappointing.

You will meet so many people better than me, is the first response that comes to mind; and as quick as it comes it fades alongside every thought, as he is pulled closer. His lips part as he looks at Essek, half in awe at an intensity he had not often seen brazenly displayed, words all but forgotten. He can believe it then; not that he is that special, perhaps, but that Essek sees it, somehow, that he looks at him and finds something worth cherishing and allowing this close, something desirable, something — deserving of love, he wants to think, presumptuous as assuming it feels when it has not been said. Caleb does not hesitate to kiss him again, more fiercely than before, forgetting slow caution and the newness of it to his partner. He holds Essek as close as their position allows, fiery and overflowing with feeling; wanting Essek to feel all of it as well.

" I know while I am happy to disregard my home country without a second thought you are quite fond of yours, " he said, every word carefully chosen as he tried to ... what? Convince Caleb not to open his home to him? He had once been selfish enough to accept such an offer without hesitation, had been so focused on his own survival he would have paid any price, risk ANYONE, for it but Caleb ... the sheer thought of the price the wizard would pay if he were to be discovered harbouring a dynasty fugitive horrified him. " And you would not only risk your place in the Empire but the Dynasty as well. I am an enemy of both now, traitor to my home. Should the Bright Queen discover you shielding the biggest traitor her kind has ever encountered any allyship between you will me terminated immediately. " And they would put more people than just Caleb at risk. The Nein would all be under suspicion, mistrusted by both sides. Even Nicodranas might not be willing to shelter them then. No one in their right mind would risk angering both the Dynasty AND the Empire at the same time.

" In truth I could not bear seeing you ruined for daring to shelter me. " For daring to love me. He did not dare say it out loud so plainly for everyone to see ( who, Essek? An audience of two? ) for he did not want to make ASSUMPTIONS about where exactly they stood. A kiss ( or several ) could mean many things and he was hardly an expert on matters of the heart, his own beating so loudly in his chest it seemed to drown out any other sound around him. He felt nauseous in a way — overwhelmed. Usually he would simply retreat home, or to whichever corner stood in for his home at this point but the thought of leaving Caleb now, especially in the middle of ... whatever it was they were discussing felt wrong, painful even to consider. And so in spite of the way his hands were shaking and his voice trembled, he remained in place, fighting the urge to seek an escape route out of this MOMENT between them. He owed it to Caleb to try and see this through instead of running from it like a coward.

they're taking you away.

you're not mine to save.

i won't get to see your face.

you're unlike anyone i have ever known.

you're all i've ever known.

for that, i'll say i was wrong.

i am sorry my love's too much for you.

i'm not sorry for loving you.

i spent my whole life here.

i thought for sure that you were my dream come true.

i wish you would chase me.

i love you, but not in the way that you want me to.

i hate that i fell in love with you.

what do i do with this love for you?

why are you here?

consider this your one last chance.

it's a little bit dangerous.

put your whole brain in it.

you won't get another time to try.

i'd like to hurry up and end this.

i'm not dying here.

i already know your tactics.

i don't even have to kill you.

i just have to avoid you.

i am almost there.

there you are, coward.

i've been waiting for this moment.

i've got a reputation.

get in the water.

aren't you tired, _____?

it's been ten years, how long will this go?

why not leave this here and just go home?

i can't afford to die.

you sealed your fate.

you can't kill me.

how does it feel to be helpless?

how does it feel to know pain?

i watched my friends die in horror.

look what you've turned me into.

look what we've become.

haven't i suffered enough?

you didn't stop when i begged you.