she finds that anger begins to set in,     reactive to the embarrassment of her own obvious mishandling. the excuse she’ll give at face value     —     will not openly admit that she is riddled with a feeling of     worthlessness,     of complete     &     utter emptiness.     that without her father, she is useless.     could never have the strength that he did; the same feeling of     home     that he gave to this place.

she nears the point of breaking; where honesty is pressing at every emotion, making her throat tighten     &     her eyes sting.     she’s thankful then,     for the physical support of the commander’s grasp, grounding her. drawing her back from the depths of her own mind     —     kira shepard,     she who successfully spat in the face of death. maya could only wonder how much it cost her…     ❝     i     —     i   think   you’re   right.   fresh   air’ll   be   good.     ❞     she parrots, wiping greased hands with a rag before tossing it to the ground     a little too     aggressively.     ❝     thanks   commander.     ❞    

     𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑹𝑴 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑳𝒀, 𝑨𝑳𝑴𝑶𝑺𝑻 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑫𝑳𝒀 reaches to wrap around the slender frame of maya’s shoulder as shepard nods, teeth plucking at her lip before she issues a small smile. “everything down here can wait for a bit, you know?” she herself has always been a poor student of taking care of herself and for that, perhaps she recognizes a need in others. this ship has ghosts for her but maya’s ghost? that’s a different sort of haunting, one that pierces deeper and unrelentingly. “no need to thank me,” kira flashes a slip of a grin as she guides her towards the elevator, “just promise me the next time you see me looking like i’m gonna’ punch through my reports, tell me to take five.” 

something  about  her  reply  puts  him  at  ease  .  she’s  not  incensed  by  his  curiosity  ;  instead  ,  shepard  teases  .  she  seems  to  understand  the  question  ,  but  also  defend  herself  in  the  same  breath  — —  and  shawky  respects  that  .  he  respects  her  grin  ,  her  banter  ,  her  kindness  .  she’s  not  angered  ,  nor  off-put  by  the  archaeologist’s  question  .  she  protects  what  she  cares  about  .  shawky  ADMIRES  that  response  .  after  hastily  clearing  his  throat  ,  shawky  ducks  his  head  briefly  and  hastens  a  hand  over  the  back  of  his  neck  .  ❝  i  truly  didn’t  mean  to  pry  ,  ❞  he  promises  ,  ❝  and  i’m  not  — —  𝚒𝚝  𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝  𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍  .  not  in  the  slightest  .  ❞  though  he’s  never  found  love  ,  personally  ,  shawky  thinks  highly  of  those  that  have  .  this  war  is  terrible  ,  vast  ,  and  great  ,  a  swell  of  death  and  burning  .  to  find  love  amid  the  reapers’  ruin  …  it’s  a  feat  .  it  should  be  applauded  ,  not  sneered  at  .

❝  i  realize  i’m  a  newcomer  aboard  ,  and  some  of  this  is  very  new  to  me  .  i  just  …  wanted  to  ask  .  it’s  not  weird  .  it’s  GOOD  .  ❞  after  fixing  his  glasses  ,  shawky  smiles  .  ❝  we  all  need  something  to  fight  for  .  garrus  ,  you  said  ?  he’s  tall  .  ❞  his  eyebrows  bounce  upward  .  ❝  seems  like  a  good  fighter  .  when  did  you  meet  him  ?  ❞  so  many  questions  .  

      𝑨 𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑯 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑰𝑫𝑵'𝑻 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾  she’d been holding eases from her lungs at his response. any hint of disbelief or disapproval from anyone would be swiftly and viciously dismissed, but nonetheless shepard finds herself relieved that she needn’t follow through with that instinct. she does like shawky, finds his observations not only tempered and thoughtful but of genuine value. of all the enemies she’s been accumulating of late, she’s happy not to add another to the growing ledger. “i’m not sure if you’ve worked with military before, but usually they don’t respond well to questions like that.” she lets the statement hover for a long moment, allows it to become just uncomfortable enough, and then flashes an easy grin. “luckily, i’m not like that. i don’t mind questions when i have the time to properly answer them.” 

❝  so  …  i  don’t  mean  to  pry  .  ❞  which  probably  means  he’s  going  to  ,  but  with  caution  .  shawky  chooses  his  words  carefully  here  .  he’s  not  a  long  time  member  of  the  normandy  ,  a  faithful  crewmate  that’s  seen  every  adventure  unfold  ;  he’s  new  ,  a  recent  addition  .  he  doesn’t  have  the  connections  ,  the  familiarity  .  he’s  here  to  uncover  reaper  and  prothean  secrets  ,  anything  that  might  save  the  galaxy  while  earth  burns  back  home  — —  he’s  certain  shepard  doesn’t  trust  him  .  still  …  shawky  is  𝚞𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢  𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜  ,  and  it’s  not  like  him  to  smother  curiosity  down  .  ❝  but  you  …  and  the  turian  ?  ❞  shawky  decides  to  leave  it  at  that  ,  implied  ,  his  brows  raised  humorously  high  on  his  forehead  .  a  vague  gesture  with  his  hands  .  his  lips  ,  pursed  .  shawky  isn’t  judging  her  ,  but  he’s  inquisitive  .  he  saw  @paragonchose​​  holding  the  turian’s  hand  earlier  ,  and  shawky  might  have  …  well  ,  filled  in  some  blanks  .

     "𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻'𝑺 𝑼𝑺𝑼𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑶𝑷𝑳𝑬 𝑺𝑨𝒀 just before they’re about to pry,” shepard muses back in response, but the archaeologist before her is hardly likely to ask the sort of pointed questions the media’s become fond of late, and for that her voice is free of any venom. still, her arms fold over her chest in preparation. 

     she blinks before she can help it, having anticipated questions about her visions after the beacon or the reapers or any multitude of things wholly separate from her private life. the corners of her lips twitch before she can help it and immediately shepard is thinking of the numerous excuses, covers, she’d practiced when the inevitable was nearly discovered. however, kira is tired, and they’ve both given up on hiding what’s too bright to be concealed any longer. “his name’s garrus ,” she replies and the smile on her lips is easy and warm, “but yes, me and the turian.”