The Ultimate Side Blog

Parts of this have been going on for a while unfortunately. Some people are mad that some critics only cover her media takes and not her crimes and that's been a talking point for over a year now.

If you want my take on that side of things, personally I don't think that's a bad thing, her media takes are how she draws her viewers in to begin with, and some people just aren't equipped to talk about heavier subject matter. But her media tastes are a window into her psyche anyway, so there's value in dissecting them, at least in my opinion.

If you're talking about the more recent stuff, basically people were clogging up the "lily orchard critical" tag with personal beefs that really didn't have much relation to Lily at all, mostly people who were mad at Anthony Gramuglia or Sai Scribbles and used the tag because Ant and Sai are "related" to Lily crit. They were told to stop because they were burying the important stuff in the tag that people were documenting, and a few people had shitfits over being told to keep their petty beefs out of the tag.

We celebrated infighting in the crit community. Any time a beef became public or a relationship fractured and it got back to us, we celebrated. Circles of nonstop "Well at least WE all like each other!"

And why wouldn't we? If Lily's critics were fighting amongst themselves, it took the heat off her.

Every public spat is a gift to her. She doesn’t need to defend herself when the people holding her accountable are busy settling personal scores in the main tags. She just has to sit back, pop the champagne, and point at the fire as proof that we are the "unhinged stalkers" she claims we are.

This is why I refuse to engage in secondary drama. The moment the discourse becomes about us instead of her actions, the archive loses its power and the victims lose their voice.

She lets her feelings dictate her 'objective' understanding of the world around her to such a degree that if she DOESN'T like you, if she thinks what you're doing is annoying or tiresome or frustrating or stupid, that's YOUR fault and you should do better. And if you don't...things can start to get ugly.

Yes, exactly!

Lily is not a cartoon villain, nor is she operating some 24/7 psychological chessboard where every move is deliberate and malicious. She’s human. That includes genuine warmth, genuine connection, even moments of insight or compassion. But like you said, the issue isn’t whether she can be kind: the issue is why, to whom, and how those moments are undermined by her broader patterns of behavior.

When Lily likes someone, she can be thoughtful. She can be generous. But as you observed, that’s often conditional, tethered to how much validation or agreement that person gives her in return. The moment someone deviates from her expectations by setting a boundary, asking a question she doesn’t want to answer, or simply not performing the loyalty she feels entitled to, that warmth curdles. Her entire perception of you can flip on a dime, and once she decides you’re in the “annoying” or “wrong” category, there’s very little room for redemption. That shift isn’t just personal, either: it becomes moralized. If she’s irritated or hurt by you, then you must have done something bad. You must be manipulative. Or a stalker. Or obsessed. Or in bad faith.

And because she interprets the world through the lens of her own emotional comfort, she genuinely seems to believe that anyone who makes her uncomfortable must be objectively wrong, not just in their behavior, but in their entire character. She collapses boundaries into personal betrayals, and disagreement into threat. That makes honest communication almost impossible. Because even if you bring an issue to her calmly, even if you're trying to be empathetic, she often reads it as an attack on her identity and reacts accordingly.

She also hates N and Silver from Pokemon as well lol

One of the most defining and damaging traits in how Lily engages with the world: she has a visible, persistent refusal to admit when she doesn’t know something. And the consequences of that ripple outward into every corner of her behavior, her rhetoric, and the way her community operates.

At the root of it is something very human: the fear of being seen as vulnerable or uninformed. But where most people respond to that fear by either learning or listening, Lily shuts it down entirely. In her world, not knowing isn't just uncomfortable, it’s unacceptable. She equates uncertainty with weakness. So rather than admit she’s out of her depth, she does something else: she pretends she isn’t.

She does this in a few very recognizable ways.

First, she reframes ignorance as insight. When she doesn’t understand a topic (whether it’s economics, neurodivergence, gender identity, or history), she doesn’t say, “I don’t know.” She says, “That’s not real.” Or “That’s stupid.” Or “Only idiots believe that.” It’s not just dismissive, it’s defensive. She bulldozes past any nuance and acts as though rejecting the premise entirely is the same thing as having a valid opinion.

You can see this clearly in moments like her recent comment about inflation, where she mocked people for believing inflation is the reason prices are high by saying, “Inflation is man-made,” as if that somehow invalidates its effects. That doesn’t just miss the point, it refuses the point. She doesn’t engage with the economic forces at play, doesn’t question how inflation works, doesn’t admit there’s a complex web of causes and consequences. She just declares the whole thing fake or irrelevant, and dares anyone to challenge her.

Second, she leans on tone over substance. Her confidence becomes the argument. It’s not about what’s being said, it’s about how decisively she says it. That certainty is seductive to people who are unsure of their own footing. So instead of cultivating curiosity, she cultivates a culture where people don’t question her, and in turn, don’t question themselves. And if someone does challenge her, she either talks down to them or implies they’re acting in bad faith.

Third, she treats questions or criticism as attacks, because to her, being corrected is synonymous with being humiliated. It doesn’t matter how gently it’s phrased, how factual it is, or how necessary. If someone corrects her or points out that she misunderstood something, she almost always responds with sarcasm, mockery, or condescension. She has to reassert dominance. Because again, the idea that she simply doesn’t know something isn’t on the table. She can’t just be wrong: the other person has to be stupid, or sensitive, or some kind of hater.

And finally, this bleeds directly into the culture she builds around herself. Her community internalizes this allergy to uncertainty. Disagreeing with her becomes risky. Asking her to clarify something becomes an act of defiance. So even when she’s clearly talking out of her depth, there’s no one around her who’s willing to say so. Or if there is, they’ve learned to stay silent. She doesn’t create spaces where growth is possible, because growth requires acknowledging that you don’t already have all the answers. And Lily can’t do that.

In the long run, this isn’t just a quirk or a personality flaw: it’s corrosive. It stunts dialogue. It undermines trust. It damages the people who look up to her. And it ensures that any time she speaks on a topic (especially one with real-world implications), she’s just reinforcing her own ego rather than actually contributing anything meaningful. Her resistance to saying, “I don’t know” isn’t strength. It’s insecurity masquerading as wisdom.

CD in her Thank to Them video: "if I were Amity I'd find a new girlfriend"

In one of the games, the main character is in love with a demon that is draining their life force and at one point says: "i don't care if it hurts me, i don't regret summoning you". And Lily thinks that's cute.

Cause aparently a girl harming herself for a demon gf is cute and not worrying

And i don't even need to mention the loli, do i?

It's similar to how in Lily's ATLA fanfic the older sister of the Avatar is mindlessly devoted to her. She doesn't even mind when Niva has Earthbending panic attacks that break all her bones and refuses to let anyone else help.

You completely misunderstood and skipped over massive parts of the Black and White plot and Scarlet and Violet plot because you didn't like them.

It isn't even for debate, you know nothing about the character N because you even admitted you didn't like him from the get go and refused to talk to NPCs that gave you crucial information to understanding his character, then wanted his abuser to KEEP ABUSING HIM.

You completely misunderstood the Starfall Street Path for Scarlet and Violet and what ACTUALLY happened during that, misrepresenting it as just 'the bullied kids become the bullies' when that isn't what happened if you paid attention to what the characters were actually saying. You completely wrote off Arven as just 'Draco Sadboy' without any care or even mentioning what his plotline was about or why it mattered to the game (and I don't think you even referenced who his Parent is in the game and why that matters)

And that isn't even getting into how you ADMITTED you refused to do any of the side content on Silver in the Gen 2 games because it 'didn't interest you' then presented your own interpretation of his character as fact without even delving into them. How you CONSTANTLY misunderstand or just BS about mechanics in the game (of note, there is no increased damage from the opponent like Lily claims. She was using subpar pokemon with low BST and refused to change out her pokemon. The only game where that kind of statement is accurate was just Legends Arceus, which she refused to play because it had story)

I had a personal experience with Lily that highlights exactly why her claims that "people don’t communicate with me" don’t hold any weight. It's ironic that she so often complains about people not telling her when something's wrong, because, in my experience, when someone does attempt to speak up or address an issue, they’re met with a response that makes communication impossible.

This particular situation involved a confrontation with a YouTuber who used to be a friend of Lily’s. This YouTuber tried to intimidate and smear me simply because I refused to do a voice call with her and followed a former mod. In an attempt to shut me down, she played a manipulative game, calling me out publicly for my choices. Rather than have a productive conversation, she tried to manipulate the situation to create an image of me as someone to be vilified.

And in what was supposed to be an innocuous moment of trying to vent about the situation on a stream, Lily took things too far. I had brought up my issue with this YouTuber in her stream chat, trying to air the frustration I had. Instead of listening or offering understanding, Lily responded by publicly dropping the YouTuber’s full name — and for some inexplicable reason, she dropped Sai’s full name too. This was done live on stream, with no consideration for privacy or the potential fallout.

The worst part? Because I was the one who brought up the issue in the first place, the viewers who recorded this event saw my name in the chat as the person who had “prompted” Lily to drop those names. I looked like I had somehow condoned this kind of privacy violation.

Let me be clear: I do not condone sharing people’s private information, especially without their consent. Privacy is something I hold dear, and it was infuriating to have Lily take it so carelessly, as if it didn’t matter. But because I never directly confronted Lily about it — and because I didn’t feel safe doing so — she never heard how upset I truly was.

This situation isn’t an isolated incident either. Lily often claims that people “don’t communicate” their issues with her and that she always finds out about problems too late. But the truth is that it’s impossible to tell her when you’re upset with her. Her community operates on an unspoken rule that you can’t speak up when something’s wrong. If you do, you’re walking on eggshells. People are terrified of offending her or risking a ban. So, instead of opening a dialogue about what’s really going on, the community builds this silent resentment and fear.

When you're part of Lily's space, you're expected to fall in line — and the price of speaking up is too high. Any attempt to assert yourself or express discomfort could result in mockery, public shaming, or worse, being ostracized from the community. That’s not a healthy space for communication. It’s an environment where people are conditioned to keep their mouths shut for the sake of avoiding conflict.

I never vocalized my frustration with Lily after that event because I knew what would happen if I did. I knew the backlash I would face. I knew she wouldn’t actually listen, and in turn, I’d risk being shut down or dismissed entirely. So, I stayed silent. And that’s what she doesn’t understand when she complains about no one speaking up. She’s created a culture of silence, a space where it’s safer to swallow your feelings than risk angering her.

Lily's behavior shows that communication is only valuable when it fits her narrative — when people are telling her what she wants to hear or agreeing with her. Anything that challenges that is either dismissed or punished, leaving people stuck in an uncomfortable limbo where they can’t express legitimate concerns. That’s why her claim that people don’t communicate with her is so hollow.

Absolutely — and this is one of those behaviors that seems small on the surface, but reveals a lot about how Lily approaches media, discussion, and other people.

Spoiling shows or movies without warning, as Lily often does, shows a fundamental lack of consideration for the audience’s experience. And when that’s paired with her apparent lack of curiosity, it starts to make a lot more sense. Curiosity naturally makes someone interested in how stories unfold — it makes them value mystery, surprise, and thematic build-up. But Lily has demonstrated, time and again, that she views stories more as tools for moral messaging or vehicles for her own opinions than as experiences meant to be enjoyed or explored.

SABERSPARK DID FUCKING WHAT?!

It's a pattern I've noticed, with the situation I explained above opening my eyes to it. She lashes out at and insults the people who literally pay her rent, gets mad at them for saying sorry, and 999 times outta 1000 refuses to say sorry herself for reasons unbeknownst to me.

I think I was actually there for the Discord tirade you mention! Not only that, if it's what I think you're referencing, I think I was one of the recipients of said tirade.

Around early-mid June of last year? I remember myself and another patron being scolded for "treating her life like a soap opera", and the next morning, a new rule was in place: No excessive apologizing.

Huh. I'd forgotten about that.

Anyway, to answer your question: Lily does have a long, noticeable pattern of avoiding genuine apologies whenever possible. When she does apologize, it’s usually extremely broad, not directed at anyone in particular, and often immediately undercut by her behavior afterward — exactly like the situation you described.

There are a few dynamics at play here. First, apologizing sincerely would mean acknowledging that she actually hurt someone, and that goes against the public image she tries to maintain: that she's always justified, always right, always the most "reasonable" person in any situation. If she admits fault openly, it undermines the authority she works hard to project over her community. Lily’s whole framework is built on maintaining control — and vulnerability threatens that control.

Second, there's the fact that she sees apologies themselves as weakness. You can even see it in how she treats others who apologize: she’ll snap at them, punish them, or accuse them of "making it about themselves." In her mind, to apologize is not an act of accountability, it’s an admission that you've "lost" some kind of personal battle. That's why, even after she lashes out, she often digs in her heels and reframes the situation so that she was the one wronged, or at least justified.

And you're right: it's the people who literally support her financially that she treats like this. People she owes gratitude and care to, and instead she meets them with suspicion, coldness, or outright disdain if they ever so much as inconvenience her emotionally.

Oh my god she does...

Oh that's so bad

It's baffling, truly baffling. I've never before seen such blatent contempt of a game. She claims to love pokemon yet completely refuses to engage with any of the games on their own terms.

She doesn't play the game in any of the clearly intended ways, she disregards all the mechanics, doesn't explore and will not change her strategy of using Gardevoir for almost everything and when things inevitably don't go her way, she claims the game is unbalanced. Whether or not the games actually are unbalanced becomes completely irrelevant if you aren't actually using the mechanics correctly, especially in the later games when she actually mods the game so she can continue using Gardevoir. Her "analysis" completely fails because she's explicitly not playing the game correctly. It's not the game doesn't teach you how to play it (in fact imo pokemon games can often be too hand-holdy) it's that she stubbornly refuses to use any other strategy and blames the game for her decision not to adapt.

That's not even talking about how she treats the story. Any of her myopic opinions on the quality of the storytelling is meaningless considering the way she skips dialogue as fast as possible. Again, she is simply not engaging with the game in an objective way.

I'm sorry for going off on a rant here, I just need to get this out of my head. I can't stop thinking about it, it's just so flagrantly wrong. Never have I seen someone treat something they claim to enjoy so hatefully.

She's a contrarian, sure, but this is excessive. Massively excessive.

Is she just trolling? If so, it's a truly ridiculous length to go to for a joke. Normally, I admire commitment to the bit but if this is actually a bit it still doesn't make any sense because it's worse for her if it is.

Think about it. In this hypothetical, she records hours and hours of footage of gameplay that she has to complete herself, experiencing a myriad of plot and game mechanics she admits she doesn't like. And for what? To anger people? I mean, if so it's worked but that is an insane amount to put yourself through to get at other people and I can't imagine going through with that.

But if it's not a troll, that might actually be worse? Because if it's genuine then it speaks to a total disconnect between what she thinks and what she actually experiences playing the game.

And thus I return to the question. Why? Why do this? Nobody made her do this, this is a hole nobody asked her to dig. What does she gain from this? Ad money from the video sure but again, I can't imagine that being enough to justify going to this length. She's not convincing anyone, she's not achieving anything and she's "playing" the game in such a way that I can't understand how she's getting enjoyment from any of it.

She hates the stories, can't stand most of the characters and barely catches or uses any of the pokemon. She barely uses one of the CORE GAMEPLAY MECHANICS.