just pirated my ethics textbook. was this wrong of me? who’s to say. i’ll find out soon enough
[Image description: Eleanor from The Good Place with a speech bubble photoshopped on so it looks like she's saying the reblogged text]
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@bi-spying
just pirated my ethics textbook. was this wrong of me? who’s to say. i’ll find out soon enough
[Image description: Eleanor from The Good Place with a speech bubble photoshopped on so it looks like she's saying the reblogged text]

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Ilya is stuck in a tuna meltdown day time loop and he keeps trying to make Shane stay but he always fails. He tries everything, keeping it super casual, being really honest and confessing his feelings, trying not to say anything at all but Shane always ends up getting overwhelmed and leaves. Ilya starts just having fun with it, having sex with Shane in every way imaginable, on every surface in his apartment. He learns so much about Shane and falls deeper in love with him which makes it even more devastating that Shane always ends up leaving. This keeps happening until Ilya realizes that Shane has to go through the Rose phase in order to find out who he really is on his own and Ilya has to wait patiently for him to come back and when he finally accepts that he breaks the loop.
i think one reason i really enjoy throwing out reid's thing with giving shane limited telepathy so that he automatically always understands why ilya is being a dick when he is, and therefore never holds it against him or lets it affect him, is that like. when you let shane be confused and hurt about ilya's actions, but he still stays, it's such a tasty contrast to ilya's idealized, rosy-hued (and green-tinted) view of him as someone with such a perfect life and perfect family and no real problems.
like give me a shane who responds to months of ghosting + vegas 2014 by going okay. i understand. no strings attached, it's just sex, i will not make any emotional bids because he doesn't actually like me. he doesn't want to be my friend and he doesn't want to hang out or chat or anything. it's just sex. he doesn't like me. but it's good sex.
(which is why he's so thrown off guard by everything about the tuna melt situation. he's got rules in his head based on what their past relationship has been like, based on what ilya himself made clear to him in 2014, and whatever ilya is doing now is completely breaking all of those rules!!!! what is happening!!!)
but specifically i really want to see them finally talk about it and shane's just like wait. you cared about me this whole time????? what the fuck??
and ilya's like. um. yes? (a little hurt, but pretending he's not) did you. not? care about me? at all??
and shane's like what? no of course i did, i cared about you the whole time but i just thought you didn't give a shit about me until recently. like i thought you just didn't like me and only liked my body, i guess.
and ilya's just like . . . . . . . . . . you thought i saw you as, what, a sex doll? you thought i didn't like you at all, and you. you still met with me every time? you thought i didn't fucking like you or care about you even a little bit and you still let me fuck you?
and shane's like. shrug. yes?
ilya is just left gawking at him. recalibrating his mental image of shane hollander as goody-two-shoes mister perfect with one (1) dirty little secret. like actually hold on a minute. that's fucking nuts. hollander, what the FUCK is wrong with you?????
Gideon the Ninth naming system notes appreciation post
Ilya is used to carrying babies and small children in his arms. Because he used to hold his niece in his arms (though that became less frequent with each summer he went back to Russia) and he's babysat the Pikelings a handful of times now, so yes he knows to support a babie's head and can carry around a toddler no problem.
Cue Ilya making a rare appearance at Bood's Barbeque because it's the team's chance to meet little Milo for the first time. Everyone congratulates the parents and oohs and aaws at Milo. Cue Bood asking "anyone want to hold him?"
And Ilya is the first to volunteer, already reaching out his hands. And Bood, like any new parent, starts the "Alright here we go, now be careful to support the head-" only to trail off because Ilya does not need any help. For some strange reason, Ilya fucking Rozanov is a pro at holding a baby, murmuring to him in Russian swaying him softly in his arms.
The Groupchat ("CenBros NO CAP") goes wild because how the fuck is Rozy so good with babies. And then one of the rookies is like "maybe he has a baby??" and at first everyone scoffs because, hello. This is Ilya Rozanov we're talking about.
On second thought, though.
Ilya did move to Ottawa seemingly out of nowhere.
He did buy a house in the suburbs.
He is strangely secretive about who he's texting all the time.
He is skipping almost every team event.
Suddenly it all makes sense. Ilya has a girlfriend (wife??) and he moved to Ottawa for her so that they could raise their child together. And of course he's almost never attending a team outing or leaving early, he has a child at home! Of course he's secretive about it, Ottawa or not he's still Ilya fucking Rozanov, papped every second day. It only makes sense that he'd want to protect the identiy of his girlfriend (wife??) and child.
The final piece of evidence is overheard by Holmberg and Young on a random Thurday after practice. Ilya clearly hasn't noticed them as he walks to his car, a fond smile on his face and obviously focused on his phone call. "Goodnight, I miss you very much. I will be home soon", he says. It's followed by laughter and Ilya adding that "Yes, of course is necessary! I have been away all day, my daughter must hear me say goodnight to her."
Holmberg and Young (standing next to Young's car and therefore hidden from Ilya's view) stare at each other with open mouths and wide eyes. Because holy fucking shit Rozy just confirmed he has a daughter?? And based on the conversation also a girlfriend/wife??
Meanwhile Shane, who patiently sat next to where Anya was curled up on the couch with his phone on speaker so that Ilya could tell her goodnight, is happily talking with Ilya about what to cook for dinner.

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hockey players are kind of known for getting married and having kids super early and super fast and I think shane would LOVE to feel like he's winning at being a responsible adult bc he'd never do that but can't bring himself to do it considering he's on the seventh layer of situationship hell. someone tells him he's just so responsible and he's like "responsible yeah sure" while fully knowing they would be on his third vow renewal ceremony and fifth kid if they could
I adore that in the hospital Shane's heart rate goes down instead of up when he sees Ilya. I know a racing heart is common around someone you're attracted to but the lower bpm reads as him feeling so comfortable and safe that even his perpetually active sympathetic nervous system calms tf down. And this is when he's actively concussed with a broken bone btw!!! Holding Ilya's hand physically reduces Shane's stress so much his heart rate drops 20bpm and his oxygen saturation goes to 100%. That's insane. Forget whatever medications they had him on Ilya is his drug of choice for sure
Ilya who, whenever Jurrasic Park or any sort of dinosaur movie is on, takes a picture of the TV and sends it to Scott Hunter with a "good game" or "did not kow you were playing tonight".
Scott just lets out a long sigh everytime and counts to ten in his head.
He ends up on the same flight to New York as Shane after an away game in Ottawa, with Scott going back home and Shane travelling for the launch of a new Rebook store in New York.
And Scott can't help but laugh when he sees what the in flight movie options are. At Shane's curious look he waves at the small tv screen and explains the bit Ilya has going on. And Shane, just for a second, gets this weird glint in his eyes before offering Scott one of his earbuds with a smile.
"Want to rewatch the game with me instead?", he asks, holding up his IPad. And, why the hell not, Scott thinks, there are worse things than reviewing their game with Shane (even though he doubts Shane will share any of his strategical thoughts with him).
So, Scott takes the earbud and settles into his seat. Only to be hit with the opening notes of Jurrasic Park five seconds in.
"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?
thy mother
Art thou for fucking real
their internal thoughts in that one scene:
david hollander: oh shit i wasn’t supposed to see that. i have invaded his space and seen something he didn’t want known. he was hiding away in the cabin with a man. because he wasn’t ready to come out yet. he didn’t want us to know and now i know. wait that’s rozanov! what the fuck is he doing with rozanov? oh no that felt judgy of me. hold on am i being homophobic right now? i’m intruding and it was a secret and - fuck i just outed my son. what if I just run. what if i signal that i didn’t see anything by simply dashing out the door. shane i promise i didn’t see anything. fuck yuna help i fucked it all up.
shane: oh man my dad’s not happy i’m gay.
ilya: oh fuck he saw me grab his ass.

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we are going to see this. on our tv screens. holy fuck.
this scene is literally just
i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal
prev im so sorry to put you on blast like this but please know this had me in hysterics
playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes
in ilya's last year in boston, one day, cliff notices the light pink and dainty water bottle that ilya carries to practice. the water bottle has gone viral online—cliff knows because his new girlfriend recently showed him hollander's ad campaign.
then, during a party, cliff's girlfriend sees ilya wearing a baseball cap that has sold out a while ago, also because of hollander.
ilya smirks and refuses to say how he managed to get the ball cap.
cliff doesn't understand why ilya seems to follow all of hollander's ads, while ilya just enjoys taking all the free stuff from his very fashionable boyfriend.

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Heated Rivalry, p. 269
are you "self-aware" or are you intellectualizing your emotions because you don't know how to feel them?
I like that this one didn't really blow up but it has been the number one most common post I see in my notes ever since. wall-to-wall “hey. fuck you” type responses interspersed with thoughtful reflection.
I continue to have no resolution for this thought, we are poleaxed together, so I'm very pleased that my emotional terrorism has gone according to keikaku.