Beth Carlton

I just want to experience the affectionate tension of always being called by my surname by that one person until the moment one of our lives is in danger and they tenderly call me by my first name

Enemies to lovers romance is the journey from sweetheart (derogatory) to sweetheart (affectionate)

If there’s a fetish there’s a totally spies episode dedicated to it

sorry but what in the FUCK are you talking about and why is this the first thing on my dash

did they end the game

they ended the game

i want to be WOOED!!! i want to be ADORED!!! fuck anyone who says it’s “cheesy” or “a cliche” i want to be ROMANCED!!!

me and my partner have been obsessed with the unhinged insanity of this video for the last day. I can’t stop thinking about it.

it just keEPS GOING

Can we talk about this video and how I CAN NOT.

…the fuck.

The “And One More Thing” quality of this reminds me of the Taco Town SNL sketch

i think what makes this one special is how long into the video it remains credibly edible. like “oh it’s pulled chicken. oh, chicken tacos. chicken tacos in a pizza shape? okay sour cream goes with tacos, the mayo’s weird but. hey wait what are you doing with those frying ingredients”

Wow…

This is truly the Hotel California of websites

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

This post is a journey

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

I MEAN where’s the lie

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

Reblogging for that last exchange.

@shanastoryteller