cobb vanth appreciation club

the usual caveat: a lot of things had to have crossover periods of remission in order for me to do it at all.

I WISH I had a before and after photo but I don't have any real befores because I felt so awful, physically and emotionally. I didn't start taking progress photos until I'd already made serious visible changes and felt ok looking at myself. I can't believe how much better I feel now. My joints don't hurt nearly as much, probably because I've strengthened a lot of the muscles around them, but I'm also carrying around 40+ lbs less body weight. when I do my barbell curls or lift free weights, it really hits me that I was carrying the equivalent of these on my body and it really helps drive home how much of a change I've made

I don't know if I've EVER experienced the kind of euphoria I felt this past week when I saw my first visible bicep and shoulder veins while lifting. literally giggling uncontrollably and had to stop mid-rep. oh my god. my delts are visible, my triceps are visible. it's tough because my primary comparisons are social media and the other people in my gym, but I think if I take into account the broader american population, I'm definitely in the top 20% of cis women my age in terms of muscle mass and general fitness. my asthma is still a SIGNIFICANT limiting factor to intense cardio, but I can now run a 13 minute mile, 12 if I push myself. the benchmark for "good" for a "beginner" is sub-10 minutes but, for an asthmatic, I think 12 is perfectly acceptable for now.

although, nothing like losing ~40 lbs to realize you actually need to lose more like 55 to reach your goal. 🫩 and I have some degree of loose skin already now (mostly back of arms, stomach, upper thigh, mid back), which bums me out a little because I didn't think the change(s) would be drastic enough for that but apparently they are. nothing to be done about that except some careful clothing choices I suppose. and some of it, like my arms, will fill back out as I gain additional muscle and reduce the loose appearance