4h
I joke about how the (only) thing that will fix me is physically fighting my father, and then I remember that he's 66 years old and despite being in very good shape for his age, i only have maybe 1-2 years before such a thing would be just a young, fit person beating up on an old man. then I'M the bad guy in that situation and it just makes me even more depressed. that man deserves a fucking concussion at my hands and to be beaten bloody for everything he's done to me, my mom, and my siblings and the thing taking that from me isn't even him, the law, morals, anything, it's the simple passing of time and that somehow pisses me off more than anything else
