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trying on a metaphor
Xuebing Du
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Cosimo Galluzzi

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shark vs the universe


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Jules of Nature

#extradirty
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
i don't do bad sauce passes

Janaina Medeiros
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NASA
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@beskad
Stop warning me about mature content I'm literally an adult

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ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY (2016) Dir. Gareth Edwards
it's not fair that twitter's phm tag has a rocky emoji so i stole him for you all
I love the gym because it's a socially acceptable place to do a really difficult, structured set of movements for 90 seconds and then stare off into the distance and dissociate for about 3 minutes, rinse and repeat

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why can't my shoulders always look like they do in the interior window reflection of the gym at night smh
screams into the fucking void
please dear god eat fucking carbs. fruit. whole grains. baked potatoes. rice.
I'm losing my mind, I have a friend who goes insanely low carb with no medical reason to, just because the "trainer" through an MLM type company that sells protien drinks and snacks tells her to. and then she complains about being fatigued and feeling unwell. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING LIKE 50G CARBS AND 200G PROTIEN A DAY 😭 your brain runs on carbs!! and you need carbs for cardio!! that ratio only makes sense if you're like, diabetic and rationing insulin! or a 180lb-lean cis male body builder prepping for a show!! I've tried to tell her this, but she doesn't want to hear it because well the "trainer" said etc etc etc 😭 maybe let's not take nutrition advice from an unlicensed coach with an MLM who financially benefits from you buying overpriced protien stuff with their referral code!!!
thinking a lot today about the sheer fucking arrogance you must have to not only homeschool your child k-12 but believe you're doing it well. as if you, someone who barely graduated highschool, who had documented learning disabilities in an era where those things were rarely even pursued/believed/diagnosed, who self-admitted to not being able to do basic math and needing her engineer dad to tutor her and she still didn't pass - as if you could effectively teach four children all subject areas k-12. AND have the fucking audacity to insist over and over again, to outsiders, your family, and the very children you are "teaching," that this is "the best possible education you can get"
fucking batshit insane behavior, honestly. and I do mean that very seriously. you have to be seriously fucking mentally ill to believe that claim.
a friend is trying to get me to hang out after work and I'm just like 😰 I don't want to be antisocial, but my last day off work was May 25th, and I closed at my second job last night and opened this morning and I just wanna eat my pre-cooked, pre-measured chicken and beans meal prep and go to the gym and go home and make tomorrow's meal prep and go to bed 😭 I don't wanna go get a burger and fries and be out dicking around for like 4 hours before I can get to the gym, and then have a shit workout because I'm digesting a burger 😭 and then not be able to meal prep for tomorrow, and only get 4-5 hrs of sleep again because I won't be able to start the gym until 11pm and I HAVE to wash my hair for my day job tomorrow and that wash/dry/style takes 1.5-2 hours UGHHHHH
Women covered in blood. Reblog if you agree.

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bruh, both old navy and target have seriously reduced or completely discontinued their plus size women's clothing. this is alarming. can we not CONSTANTLY do this shit, please. getting rid of size inclusive clothing, any signs of Pride merch, etc etc, this all adds up to a really concerning overall trend attempting to funnel everyone into a tiny, white, conservative box
reblog if the first musical you listened to was not Hamilton
this friday will be exactly 1 year since the day I decided to take my health and fitness seriously.
the usual caveat: a lot of things had to have crossover periods of remission in order for me to do it at all.
I WISH I had a before and after photo but I don't have any real befores because I felt so awful, physically and emotionally. I didn't start taking progress photos until I'd already made serious visible changes and felt ok looking at myself. I can't believe how much better I feel now. My joints don't hurt nearly as much, probably because I've strengthened a lot of the muscles around them, but I'm also carrying around 40+ lbs less body weight. when I do my barbell curls or lift free weights, it really hits me that I was carrying the equivalent of these on my body and it really helps drive home how much of a change I've made
I don't know if I've EVER experienced the kind of euphoria I felt this past week when I saw my first visible bicep and shoulder veins while lifting. literally giggling uncontrollably and had to stop mid-rep. oh my god. my delts are visible, my triceps are visible. it's tough because my primary comparisons are social media and the other people in my gym, but I think if I take into account the broader american population, I'm definitely in the top 20% of cis women my age in terms of muscle mass and general fitness. my asthma is still a SIGNIFICANT limiting factor to intense cardio, but I can now run a 13 minute mile, 12 if I push myself. the benchmark for "good" for a "beginner" is sub-10 minutes but, for an asthmatic, I think 12 is perfectly acceptable for now.
although, nothing like losing ~40 lbs to realize you actually need to lose more like 55 to reach your goal. and I have some degree of loose skin already now (mostly back of arms, stomach, upper thigh, mid back), which bums me out a little because I didn't think the change(s) would be drastic enough for that but apparently they are. nothing to be done about that except some careful clothing choices I suppose. and some of it, like my arms, will fill back out as I gain additional muscle and reduce the loose appearance
idk, overall, I'm feeling pretty good. it still hasn't fixed my passive suicidal ideation, I still very much do not want to be here, but it's an adequate daily distraction from that for now. "best I've ever felt" is still pretty Bad, I'm still having flare ups of chronic illness stuff that can knock me out for days at a time RIP. but my retail shifts no longer obliterate me, my resting heart rate is mid to high 60s, which is pretty good for someone with a panic disorder whose previous resting heart rate was in the 90s. idk. this time next year, I want to have abs lmao
I joke about how the (only) thing that will fix me is physically fighting my father, and then I remember that he's 66 years old and despite being in very good shape for his age, i only have maybe 1-2 years before such a thing would be just a young, fit person beating up on an old man. then I'M the bad guy in that situation and it just makes me even more depressed. that man deserves a fucking concussion at my hands and to be beaten bloody for everything he's done to me, my mom, and my siblings and the thing taking that from me isn't even him, the law, morals, anything, it's the simple passing of time and that somehow pisses me off more than anything else
i miss him so much

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once i was in the TSA line for a flight and it was SO LONG that TSA decided to just drop all the security protocols. leave everything in the suitcase including electronics. keep your shoes on. don't go through the fancy 360 scanner, just the metal detector. get out of here. and i was like ohhhh so you admit this is all just your stupid community theatre production that you've made me be a part of for all this time and it doesn't actually mean anything real. okayyyyy