kayla or whatever

Holidays are hard when one of your babies is in heaven and not here on earth with you. Doing my best to be festive and make it great for miss Eliza but I miss Malakai. There should be 2 helping me decorate. There should be 2 dancing to Christmas music. There should be 2 that I'm shopping for.

I've always heard people say that each pregnancy will get harder on your body. I never really believed it but damn right I do now, my whole body feels like it's breaking half of the time and this is baby #3.

I found out babies can cry in the womb and now everytime I cry, I know she feels what I feel and it makes me so sad that she could be in there crying too😓

I truly am not okay today.

"and once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storms all about"