so tired

oh my god i can FINALLY SHOW Y'ALL THE WORK I DID ON THE @losthavenguild INFERNAL HERITAGE ZINE :D

here, take one of the illustrations i painted for the main anthology :) stay tuned for the second painting later this week....

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

Fuckin’ love the idea of transboy Noya and I have a crew who feels the same. 

I know Sept just started but since I’m transitioning from my summer job to school job, paychecks are gonna be a little weird, so I gotta make sure I can make Oct rent ;v; I’m not quite ready to open yet but I’m opening a waitlist of sorts!

If you donate $5 to MY KO-FI anytime this month, I’ll send you a 20% off code when comms open in October. This code will be good at least through the end of the year.

“Nothing about this is right, but you know what I always say? What’s happened has happened, and nobody can change it.”

Happy pride from the Creed of Gethin crew! It’s been a pleasure writing such a wild group of queer weirdos.