into the storm.

That’s pride alright lmfao

“When I was growing up, my parents spoke to each other in Spanish, but they didn’t speak to us in Spanish because they were told not to. In school we weren’t allowed to speak it.”

and also???

“… But America is the only country that promotes monolingualism. Here it’s English, English, English. Every other country makes their children learn a second language very early on. So as my political and social activism grew, I was like, ‘I really need to learn Spanish.’ So I did.“ 

idk how many people i’ve known growing up in texas whose parents speak fluent spanish but they don’t speak a lick solely because their parents were afraid or told not to teach their children. it’s unspeakably common and doesn’t in any way shape or form diminish someone’s claim to or pride in their heritage. 

LETTERBOXD

1.   Avengers: Endgame 2.   Parasite 3.   Waves 4.   1917 5.   The Lighthouse 6.   The Last Black Man in San Francisco 7.   The Farewell 8.   Midsommar 9.   Shazam! 10.   Uncut Gems

[Grade A]

11.   El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie 12.   Knives Out 13.   I Lost My Body 14.   The Nightingale 15.   Joker 16.   The Death of Dick Long 17.   Ready or Not 18.   Jojo Rabbit 19.   Just Mercy 20.   Dragged Across Concrete 21.   Cold Pursuit 22.   Marriage Story 23.   Hotel Mumbai 24.   The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind 25.   Arctic 26.   The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot 27.   Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 28.   Klaus 29.   A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood 30.   American Factory 31.   Ford v Ferrari 32.   The Public 33.   Alita: Battle Angel 34.   The Report 35.   In Fabric 36.   Her Smell 37.   Hustlers 38.   Under the Silver Lake 39.   Happy Death Day 2U 40.   Bombshell 41.   A Vigilante 42.   Apollo 11 43.   The Two Popes 44.   Long Shot 45.   The Irishman 46.   The Amazing Johnathan Documentary 47.   Doctor Sleep 48.   The Current War 49.   Jumanji: The Next Level 50.   Toy Story 4 51.   Ad Astra 52.   Gloria Bell 53.   Dark Waters 54.   Them That Follow

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no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.