wachin porno and some bitch with a deathly hallow's tattoo is gettin dp'd by some trannies, call that reparations

normalize showing up to a date still wet from the creek

I still won't forget when my wisdom tooth got infected and couldn't sleep bc the pain was so bad and I took like 4 of those those blue gel ibuprofens and I finally fell asleep for a couple hours and kept having dreams about beautiful glowing blue animals that help you and I kept waking up thinking the blue animals will help me and realizing wait what are blue animals they aren't real and immediately falling back asleep thinking about the blue animals again

They are so beautiful.... I love this..

this feels like a sensitivity training for how to not commit micro aggressions against vampires in your workplace

The Y-Axis isn't that bad. Plus they have precise figures for every 2 years on the graph itself. This isn't a misleading graph.

'tis considered a Dark Arte by the King's magicians, who will wait I just realized there's a much funnier joke here

Walter the White

I’m 2016 I had a shoplifter role play blog because to avoid getting deleted all the shoplifting blogs claimed it was just to rp. Mine actually was though but I’d post shoplifting content and reblog tips and my “hauls” were just stuff I borrowed from my much more fashionable sister. I had a decent amount of followers and I got a lot of hate but I’d be like “ok buddy I’m just goofing around lol” and then post $150 of Sephora products legally purchased by my sister with the caption #gettingawaywithit. this did not improve my life but it did get me talking to people more often which, obviously, I needed

Ever find information that gels with your worldview so perfectly that you simply allow yourself to not complicate that fact? You could look deeper, but a little voice says that would spoil the ease of it all? That voice is the devil and it wants you to embarrass yourself in public.

can you imagine plants on land in the precambrian like aw fuck yeah fish cant even eat us anymore this owns and then tictilak shows up

Fuck y’all

saw a woman comforting her sobbing child saying “i already told you, you have to keep looking forward, looking back just gets you hurt” and i thought she was sharing a beautiful life lesson about the importance of letting go of regret and resentment. but it turns out the kid just wasn’t looking where he was going and ran into a wall

[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia