Beauty in the darkness and the light.

So much of the ableism we can observe comes from “good intentions”:

- trying to spot “fake” service dogs

- leaving passive aggressive notes on cars that people think shouldn’t be parked in disabled parking spots

- the entire mess that is the assisted suicide movement

- posting “inspirational” photos, videos, and stories about disabled people without their express permission

- using terms like “special needs” and “differently abled”

- trying to cure conditions that are not inherently harmful/fatal like autism or adhd

- overriding the autonomy of disabled people

The arguments I see for these always come from people who refuse to believe they are perpetuating ableism. They insist that they are trying to help disabled people and that these things are “for their own good”.

But they just perpetuate stereotypes and existing power structures already stacked against us.

fights a dragon, who burns her hair off but she magically survives

apparently she’s meant to be queen, like her great-aunt before her? she’s supposed to be named after her aunt, but actually it’s just her middle name. it also turns out she can never have kids, b/c none of the queens can?

the cover is a girl w/ a sword fighting a dragon in a cave full of gold

there’s a quest? eventually she is transported home.

her mom’s emotionally abusive but at the end it’s revealed this was due to a brain tumor or something, of which she has been cured

there may be dwarves

i think the word ‘queendom’ might be used

(Disclaimer: this is just one person's rambly thoughts, please take with many grains of salt!)

I have a lot of complex tangly thoughts about this that I can't really word yet, but I think it maybe has something to do with people having different definitions of what "recovery" means?

Like, I've seen a lot of what I think is mostly people who essentially agree with each other disagreeing because they're using different definitions.

People pushing back against the idea of recovery, for instance, because they think the people promoting it mean something like "being or appearing completely neurotypical," and getting angry because that's either not possible, not "that easy," or not even necessarily something to be promoted depending on the situation. Now, if that truly *is* the definition being used, I agree with pushing back against it - but I feel like a lot of times, nobody is actually using that definition and it's just a big misunderstanding.

Personally, my idea of recovery is a lot like what the above post describes.

I'm autistic and I have depression, anxiety, and trauma issues.

Autism, that's a part of me, it's who I am. It's not something to be "cured," but something to be accepted. Sometimes something to be accommodated. Sometimes something to be celebrated. "Recovery" doesn't really apply there.

The rest, the depression, anxiety, and trauma issues - that's more where the idea of recovery comes in for me. For some people, perhaps, recovery might mean a complete absence of these issues.

For me? I've accepted that these are things I'll probably be dealing with for the rest of my life, and I don't find that contradictory to the idea of recovery. Recovery for me is learning to live with these things, to reduce symptoms or accommodate for them when possible, to keep working and fighting for a better and happier life. It's an ongoing journey.

I'm having a hard time finding the right words right now. I have more I want to say, but basically I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I think recovery is still possible for those of us with chronic and/or recurring conditions - that "recovery" doesn't have to mean those conditions are gone/cured, it can also mean learning to live your best and happiest life while still dealing with those conditions.

Ugh, I hate this. Stuff like this has always bothered me - at first because it used to take me a while to catch on, and now because it reminds me of how people used that to make fun of me.

This was actually one of the main things I remember my middle school bullies doing. It seems like such a little thing, teasing me for being quiet - "Stop being so loud, you're disturbing me!" I often feel like it shouldn't have been so upsetting to me, it seems ridiculous that it bothered me as much as it did.

I never really felt like I could talk to anyone about it because it just sounded silly. Seems like that's the case with most of my trauma...the specific actions and words are often so minor or even absurd out of context.

I remember back in college, I was on a retreat with some people in my dorm, and the RD's husband - a really nice guy - was making jokes like this about me being quiet. And I knew that it was just good-natured teasing, and it took me a while to figure out why it was making me uncomfortable. Eventually I realized that it was because he was saying the same kind of things as those middle school bullies.

And I was angry at them for ruining that for me. This was a totally different situation, and the jokes were meant to make me feel included rather than excluded. I *like* that kind of good-natured teasing because so often people see me as too fragile/innocent/sweet to take it!

It just so happened that the specific words used were a trigger to past trauma. And I didn't want to say anything to the guy, because first, I knew he'd feel bad and it wasn't his fault, he had no way of knowing; and second, I was afraid if I said something, he'd stop with the good-natured teasing altogether and I'd once again be the fragile/innocent/sweet girl that everyone had to be nice to.

I am so incredibly sorry, and im thankful youre here and alive and trying!!! also;

You are N O T a failure you took your time because you couldnt put more on yourself than you could bear to carry and that is a mark of self care so dont ever feel bad about it

samgirlsclub appreciation meme - Prompt: Kind

Kindness is doing something and not expecting anything in return. Kindness is respect and helping others without waiting for someone to help one back. The act of not just being nice, but showing sympathy and understanding.True kindness is often understood through true pain

Mashed potatoes! Also yummy and salty and buttery, but smooth and creamy.

Bread! Especially when it's fresh-baked and warm and soft on the inside. With melty butter.

(I feel like there's a bit of a theme here flavor-wise 😂)