Candid pics? No, take cryptid pics of me. Make me as blurry as possible. My eyes glow. I’m in places I logically can’t be in.

holding hands with someone is one of the simplest and greatest things on earth. nothing else really matters honestly

Come to the library. We will laminate your penis for free.

I'm going to be honest I think the notion that there is a clear-cut list delineating what is and isn't a romantic or platonic behavior that is universal to every culture, time and unique life experience is a complete load of shit.

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

everything is a reference when you're crazy

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

i hate when rich people condescend with the whole 'money can't buy happiness' argument like listen. just because buying your fourth car didn't fill the void in your deluded disconnected-from-reality life doesn't mean not having to worry about food/ bills/medicine wouldn't greatly improve the mental health of literally everyone else on the planet

Another way of putting this is that money doesn't buy happiness, but relief from financial worries ABSOLUTELY buys happiness, and there is a dollar value on that.

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

🙂‍↕️

nasa trying to eat the moon

Operation Pac Man is a go

self-recognition through the other (concerned)

damn. that guy needs help. yes i'm sure. no i'm not telling you why.