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The risks I took were calculated, but man am I bad at math.

Clary Fairchild, an autobiography

#incorrect sh quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #incorrect the mortal instruments quotes #incorrect tmi quotes #clary fairchild

Alec: You're shirtless?

Jace: *nods*

Alec: And covered in...oil?

Jace: Well, you know how you always say I never glisten?

Alec: LISTEN! You never listen!

#jalec #Jace Herondale #Alec Lightwood #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect sh quotes #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #tmi incorrect quotes

Clary: *on the phone* Can I talk to Simon?

Jace: The old Simon can't come to the phone right now.

Jace: Why?

Jace: Oh, coz he's dead.

Alec: quite literally.

#incorrect sh quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #jace herondale #alec lightwood #Simon Lewis #clary fairchild #jimon #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #tmi incorrect quotes

Alec: To family!

Izzy: To family!

Clary: As long as it's not mine!

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #incorrect sh quotes #shadowhunters #clary fairchild #isabelle lightwood #alec lightwood

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*doctor prepping needle*

Doctor: You won't feel a thing.

Jace: Don't worry, I never do.

#jace herondale #the mortal instruments #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters

random shadowhunter swabbing to get Simon's DNA: Open up, please.

Simon: sometimes I get sad...

#simon lewis #the mortal instruments #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters

Simon: What was it like being head of the Institute for a day?

Jace: You know that feeling you get when you unwrap a present and it's not what you wanted?

#jimon #the mortal instruments #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #simon lewis #jace herondale

Simon: *does something stupid* I hope no one saw me do that

Also Simon: *texting everyone he knows and updating his status* Listen to what I just did!

#the mortal instruments #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #simon lewis

If I sit next to you for too long, am I going to die of smartass poisoning?

Simon to Alec or Jace, at some point.

#jimon #the mortal instruments #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #Jace Herondale #Alec Lightwood #Simon Lewis

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Jace: Simon, if you don't stop I swear I'm going to stab you.

Simon: Thank god I've got the mark of Cain to protect me.

#jimon #the mortal instruments #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #jace herondale #simon lewis

Sebastian: Would you slap your parabatai in the face for two million dollars?

Jace: *looks at Alec* Yes and I'd give him half.

Also Jace: I'd roundhouse kick Simon in the face on a dare.

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #jimon #Sebastian Verlac #jace herondale #simon lewis #alec lightwood

Simon: Am I adopted?

Raphael: No, we haven't found anyone who wants you yet.

Jace: *hits him upside the head*

#saphael #jimon #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #the mortal instruments #shadowhunters #simon lewis #jace herondale #raphael santiago

Raphael: I've got a five-year plan.

Simon: Five years? Cool. I've got the next about two and a half hours planned, and then there's just darkness and possibly some dragons.

#saphael #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #simon lewis #raphael santiago #the mortal instruments

*Izzy prepares dinner for everyone*

Clary: Izzy, this steak is hard.

Izzy: so is life. Then you die.

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #clizzy #clary fairchild #isabelle lightwood #the mortal instruments

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Alec: Jace, get that hideous thing out of the institute!

Jace: Simon, Alec wants you out of here!

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #alec lightwood #jace herondale #simon lewis #head of the new york institute

Raphael: Where’re you going?

Magnus: To either get a drink or commit a crime.

Raphael:

Magnus: I’ll decide on the way.

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #raphael santiago #magnus bane

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