∞And I would like to spend...∞

Art critic Anthony Cleaver-Crowley must entrust his family’s prized painting to an exhibit curated by his nemesis, Aziraphale Darcy-Fell, in this Bridget Jones’s Diary AU.

Aziraphale became Viscount, and most eligible bachelor, when brother Gabriel ran away. Notorious rake Crowley became Duke upon his father’s death and has to marry under royal order to keep his title. Maybe they can come to an Arrangement.

Do you recognize human au written by a writer who favors wordplay and goats?

The answer is below the fold.

Aziraphale, who is no expert in either football or French but is a sucker for crepes, accepts a gig translating questions for Roy Kent-esque manager Crowley in Paris.

⚽ A Good Omens Meet-Cute for @beerok23's birthday! Happy birthday, dear 💜

🥞 Football Manager Crowley | Lousy French Translator Aziraphale | Meet-Cute | Voice Kink | Flirty Bitches Going At It | No GO Besties were pestered in the writing of this fic

In a series of improbable circumstances, antiquarian bookseller Aziraphale Eastgate ends up in Paris for a translating job he is woefully unprepared for. Man United gaffer Anthony J. Crowley has lost the Champions League semifinal against PSG and is having a spectacularly terrible time with the press. Could they possibly join forces and turn the night around?

⚽ Read it here on AO3 🥞

Excerpt:

“This was a very important match,” said a deep, sultry, British voice straight into his ear. “So sorry to hear about your loss.” Crowley went very still, taken off-guard like a dumbfounded goalie watching the ball sail right past him after what was supposed to be just a round-of-the-mill goal kick from the opposing team’s keeper. He distinctly felt his carefully-cultivated indifference crack, the sudden awareness so acute it was almost painful. Somewhat winded despite not moving an inch, he turned to the French reporter, who was staring at him expectantly. Only it wasn’t him speaking, Crowley realised, it was the translator. Wherever he was. “You must be, er, acclaimed? No, that’s not it,” the deep voice continued, now laced with a specific type of breathlessness that, for some reason, had Crowley thinking of tangled sheets, warm hands and liquid moans. “Anyway, if you could have another chance at your back, what would you do differently?” It was so unexpected, so unlike anything he’d had to face in a press room before, that it completely threw him off balance. A shiver skittered down his back, heat crept up his face, and before he could quite catch himself he felt his lips twitch and he shifted forward on his seat, sitting properly rather than slouching for the first time since he’d come in.  And given that his media training didn’t exist, Crowley took out his earphone and blurted out, “Very erotic voice by the way. The translator.” He scanned the crowd for whoever the voice belonged to. “Where are you?” The room erupted into sniggers and even Crowley couldn’t fight a very off-brand chuckle. He was still searching and squirming a little when he spotted Muriel pointing to a man huddled in the far corner of the room, the lapels of his beige trench-coat flipped up to… was this pale-blond, better-groomed, cherubic version of Columbo hiding his face on purpose?

Who doesn’t like a good mystery to solve, whether canonverse or AU?

The Trouble With HELL, by beerok23. Rated E, 120k. P. Jul 25.

Aaaahhh! Oh, this fiction. It took over my thoughts. I have had my fair share of fictions I have been obsessed with, but every now and then you come upon a fic that you’re not just obsessed with, but that in your mind kind of replaces canon. I was thinking of this fic’s version of Crowley and Aziraphale with more fondness than I was thinking of the canon version; I needed to remind myself that their particular bickering and bantering and falling in love wasn’t canon, it was a human AU version of them. The humour, the characterisation, the side characters, the suspense, the tension (sexual and otherwise), the plot, the mystery! There is nothing missing from this fiction, not a thing! It’s beautiful and perfect, and I’ll miss HELL Aziraphale and Crowley so, so much (though hopefully not for exceedingly long, as a sequel seems to be in the writer’s brilliant mind already. Yay!) You all know that when I’m so passionate about a fiction it generally doesn’t disappoint, so you know what to do: read it with style!

If You’ve Got To Goat, Then Goat With Style, by beerok23. Rated E, 111k. P. Nov 25.

Fantastic, compelling, gripping murder mystery human AU! Sequel to my beloved The Trouble With HELL (it can be read on its own, but why on earth would you want to miss out on TTWH?) Aziraphale and Crowley are true crime podcasters and investigators. This story is such a joy to read! The humour, the banter and the horniness are off the charts! The characterisation is spot on! The suspense is thrilling and will keep you on the edge of your seat! Like I said in one of my comments, Agatha is smiling up at you from down there, Beer!

I love it so much, I can’t recommend it enough!

SEEKING: A Killer, by scullyphile. Rated T, 3k.

Great ineffable wives AU where Crowley is a werewolf and Azirapahle is helping her catch a werewolf killer. Very gripping, the ending will leave you wanting for more of this universe!

The Devil’s In The Details, by addledmongoose. Rated T, 165k. P. Mar 26.

Thank you for tagging me @carry-the-sky! rules: find the words you were given in your wip/s. The words given this time around are light, breath, and hands LIGHT

It may help to understand what happened next to imagine the Great Beyond not as the home of stars up above, but as the ocean down below; seas heavy enough to force even the most experienced crew to turn the ship around and head back to shore. Galaxies were wales and nebulas were jellyfishes—their silken ribbons of light swaying in the gentle currents, their jewel-toned bells throbbing like hearts in the dark. Jophiel was drowning in the middle of them, or at least he was supposed to; but where others saw only the weight of his mistakes and all that he wasn’t supposed to know but knew too well, there was faith of a different kind propelling him forward. So he had questions, and they were scared of him for it. So he didn’t know most things yet, and wasn’t ashamed of it. So forgive him Lord if, given up to be destroyed, the Starmaker swam when he was meant to sink.

BREATH

Aziraphale closed his eyes, joy washing over him, cold brass warming up against pearlescent skin, a shallow breath escaping utterly useless lungs—oh, yes, he remembered it now. The night he was offered the pocket watch was so clear in his mind he could almost taste it, and all the nights leading up to it. The gently-pulled cart precariously squeaking a barrel of not-actually pickled herring along on wooden wheels; the awfully chilly draught biting at his face, mutton chops doing nothing to shield him from the cold; the never-ending yet fascinating debate on what was wrong and what wasn’t when it came to digging bodies up in the middle of the night. And of course, Crowley—staggering through the graveyard, swallowing around a moan and urging Aziraphale to take the pocket watch he had seen the angel admiring from quite some time. A bunch of why nots and go ons had slurred from laudanum-stained lips, nonchalant and giddy, and the angel’s hands, then busy hovering inches away from the demon’s waist so as not to let him stumble and fall, had simply reached for the golden chain dangling from the black, patterned waistcoat. For safekeeping, he had promised.

HANDS

Crowley raised his eyebrows behind his sunglasses and felt whatever spine his skeleton clang to bend backwards as a low, dramatic moan tore from his throat. “Oh, come on! Really? Tonight?” “Why not tonight? You’ve been to the pub.” “Ugh, fine,” the demon said, shrugging it off. The way he saw it, the quicker they got to it, the faster he would be back to his place. Because, yes; the flat in Mayfair finally felt like his place again, after all these months. He knew Nina’s trick by heart, anyway—one hand held up making him guess how many fingers. Crowley did his best to keep a straight face as she went ahead. Despite being a fellow drinker, Nina hugely underestimated the extraordinary amounts of alcohol he could gulp down before ending up pissed as a newt. Constitution of an ox. They had kept this charade going for quite some time now, with more downs than ups; and there was nothing easier, really, than keeping both hands in his pockets to miracle the right number on particularly tipsy nights. It was reality, after all; and no one ever noticed anything.

Thank you for tagging me @sunkissed-strawberries!

rules: find the words you were given in your wip/s. The words given this time around are glasses, sun, and love

GLASSES

“S-she’s right,” Newton finally chimed in, pushing his glasses on the bridge of his sweaty nose. “All five London shows are practically sold-out, and considering our projections before we kicked off the tour, well…”

SUN

There it was, the glimmer of bastardry shining in Fell’s eyes like the bloody sun at midday in the middle of a heatwave. Show-stopping and potentially world-ending at the same time.

LOVE

“Ah, yes. Love. Now, I don’t want to bum anyone out, but my idea of true love is mutual annihilation before every day life gets in the way and you end up doing taxes together.”

Rules: find the words you were given in your wip/s. The words given this time around are book, nose, sky.

BOOK

In the end it had turned out that the book had simply been misplaced by a careless customer (Aziraphale immediately had the book gone from the bookshop public display), but it had taken Crowley a three-course dinner at the Ritz to calm him down. (And then crêpes, of course.)

NOSE

He was sitting at his desk, obviously pretending to check bills, slutty reading glasses right on the tip of his nose – still ridiculously upturned and beautiful, if you were wondering. (Not that noses can change in five years, but, ngk, just to make it clear that Aziraphale’s nose was still as perfect as the first time Crowley had laid eyes on it. As well as the rest of the angel whom the body part belonged to.)

SKY

“…and I-I thought it was romantic as hell, quintessential Aziraphale, a symbol of a century-old romanticised nightlife. Instead, here we are, oodles of people gathering outside to get tickets to see the cabaret performances, those bloody red blades spinning against the sky, and all the angel manages to say is, ‘The Moulin Rouge is so tacky’.”

No pressure tagging: @anatomic-girl @thechangelingsea @ineffablerainstorm @ineffable-shadow

Do you recognize this fic from the many hints in my comment? The answer is below the fold.

Thank you for the tag @haemey and @ineffably-queer-book-lover!

1. Death Note merchandise.

2. Corner of the veg aisle in a supermarket in Palermo, Italy.

3. Eat The Rich, Edinburgh.

4. Pride, the stage musical.

5. A lovely corner of Holland Park, London.

6. A random 42 at the Rose Theatre, Kingston Upon Thames.

Thank you for the tag, @di-42 💜

My Chemical Romance concert in Florence

My cat boss

The dome of the Florence cathedral

Bergamo

Mango cheesecake

Villa dei Quintili in Rome

1. Night by the sea in Chioggia

2. Videomapping over Leffe’s Church

3. Handcrafted Trojan Horse @ Leffestate

4. July 8th Wordle (Yes, my starting word is always angel)

5. Crêpes making that turned a little too Dantesque

6. Homemade Polenta

Thanks @di-42 and @hermiola for tagging me ❤️

🪶 A GO Regency AU - Rated E - for @addledmongoose via @fandomtrumpshate

🪞 Chapter 11 of 11 - “Epilogue” (3.5k)

🎩 NOW COMPLETE! | Fake/Pretend Relationship | There Was Only One Bed

💜 Beta: the one and only @beerok23

1811. Returned to London after the death of his father, infamous rake Anthony ‘Crowley’, Duke of Morningstar, has three months to restore his tattered reputation and secure himself a proper match, on pain of having his title stripped from him. Enter the irreproachable Lord Aziraphale, newly minted Viscount Eastgate, who would very much like to discourage his many suitors from lining outside his door in Mayfair so he can go back to enjoying his peaceful existence on the shelf. After a chance meeting at a gentlemen’s club, it appears the two may lend each other a helping hand after all. While a fake engagement will not solve their problems once and for all, it should buy them enough time to put their respective affairs in order. If only the ultimate goal of their Arrangement would remain as clear and unchanging as it should…

Epilogue Summary:

A glimpse at our protagonists’ life two years after the events of our story.

🪞Read it here on AO3 🪞

🪶Or Start From The Beginning 🪶

Excerpt from the Epilogue:

“You should know why you’re about to die. God has abandoned you. The God who claims to love you, who demands your praise, has given you up to be destroyed.”  Crowley stopped at the subtle shaking he received in response, eyes narrowed in a most menacing fashion.  “What was that? I am not God? Bad luck. I am your God and you have disappointed me bigly.”  He pointed an accusing finger at the spindly-looking tomatoes, now trembling in obvious fear.  “Uh-uh. Save your prayers for someone who cares. Should have thought about it before you decided growing properly was more of a vague guideline than, you know, the whole point.”  Pushing his shirtsleeves up to his elbows, Crowley knelt on the soft soil, ready to uproot the misbehaving plants (and, unbeknownst to them, transplant them somewhere else so he could try growing them in different conditions, he was not a monster).  “Shall we begin?” Before Crowley could carry out the sentence, however, a rather indecently-dressed viscount burst through the open door, one hand attempting to keep his dressing gown closed, the other clutched around a book. Not just any book, mind, but the book Aziraphale had been obsessing over for months, both prior to its greatly anticipated release back in late January and after. In fact, they were well into May and Aziraphale still hadn’t gotten around to reading it, repeatedly citing his need to find the perfect moment to crack it open – gently, as was the viscount’s wont whenever books were concerned (not so much with other things, Crowley had found, but that was neither here nor there, especially if said things enjoyed it).

As always the fics in this list will be added to the nice and accurate lists of Di-42, witch. As always if you want your fic taken off this list, or know someone who does, please let me know.

As always, but you know that very well already, don’t judge a fiction by the number of kudos, or you’ll miss out on truly amazing stuff!

Please share so that more fans have a chance to find their next favourite fiction!

There is something for everyone in this list, from canon to human AUs, from book omens to fics just posted yesterday.

Hope you find something you like in

July’s Jubilant Fictions.

WIPs:

And Your Nemesis Closer, by @beerok23. Rated E, chapter 5/6. 

The Holy Trinity. My beloved beerok, my beloved Bridget, my beloved Good Omens. Honestly, what more could anyone ask for? This is my FTH gift and I am so thrilled and grateful that beerok accepted the prompt and developed it with her magnificent creativity, humour and, uh, distinctive horniness! A Bridget Jones’ inspired human AU with Aziraphale as Darcy and Crowley as a mix of Bridget and Daniel, and it works splendidly. The author weaves together elements of the two worlds so seamlessly that you will forget the source material and just happily immerse yourself in this incredible original story. Every time a new chapter comes out I don’t read it, I DRINK it, it’s that good! I will be so sad to see it finish, but forever happy that beerok agreed to write it for me!

The Haunting Of Beryl House, by @anatomic-girl, CranberryCrane. Rated T, chapters 3/6. 

My new obsession! Established relationship human AU sequel to To Catch A Ghost. Aziraphale and Crowley are paranormal investigators and vloggers and they are hired to investigate the strange phenomena happening in Beryl House, a former boarding school for girls turned adult summer camp venue. This fic will keep you on the edge of your seat! You’ll find yourself hooked and unable to stop trying to guess what’s going on. The author fleshes out the characters beautifully and leads through what seems to be layers of mysteries. I am so excited to discover what’s happening!

The artworks in the fiction are amazing as well, you’ll be spoiled! This fic is a real treat!

Complete multichapters:

The Rule Of The Rose, by @joyandotherstories. Rated M, 38k. P. Jan 26.

I can’t begin to tell you how much I loved this fantasy AU! A retelling of Beauty And The Beast where Crowley swaps places with Warlock who got trapped in the beast’s castle. The beast turns out to be the handsomest, gentlest, most delightful creature Crowley has ever seen. A beautiful tale about choosing which rules need to be broken and which ones need to be followed; about learning to communicate; about growth; and about love of course. With a background of found/chosen family, which I always love. Can’t recommend this enough.

The Pocket Watch, by Dannye Chase @holycatsandrabbits. Rated E, 15k. P. Dec 20.

I loved this fic! Human AU with those early-canon vibes and characterisation that I love so much. August/Aziraphale is a jeweller and Crowley is a member of a criminal gang (of course he is) and he’s in charge of casing Aziraphale’s shop for burglary. The story is pervaded with humour and lightness. The characters' voices are spot on: strong but silly, because this is Good Omens. Plot, humour, fluff, smut: this fiction has it all!

Kidnapping Mr Fell, by @jac-is-procrastinating-again. Rated M, 23k. P. Aug 24.

Very funny human AU where Crowley finds himself in money trouble, so needless to say he very rationally decides to kidnap the man he’s absolutely smitten about. Easy peasy, right? I loved the humour in this story! The fic is tender and rather hot at times without being explicit, it’s a gem!

An Opportune Storm, by @ajconstantine. Rated E, 12k. P. Apr 20.

Post S1 fic where Crowley and Aziraphale are stuck in Crowley’s flat because of a storm. When Crowley goes to bed, Aziraphale decides not to leave. Beautiful and sexy fic about their first time together where they both are brave and loving. The same night is told from both their POVs.

Summer At Northwoods, by @bohoteacher. Rated T, 17k. P. Jul 26.

Beautiful human AU with amazing art by Becky-7750. Crowley and Aziraphale meet at a writers’ camp in Northwoods each summer for ten years. This is a lovely story of love, self discovery, self acceptance, and eventual happiness. The writer’s prose is so delicate and evocative, I felt like I was sitting on the dock with Crowley and Aziraphale. Lovely.

The Devil’s In The Details, by @addledmongoose. Rated T, 165k. P. Mar 26.

Sequel to The Beginning of The End (Again), this post S2 story follows Crowley and Aziraphale as their relationship develops after stopping the second coming. Now, if only the series of murders in Soho would stop, thank you very much, our heroes could get on with it.  This fic is packed with plot and mysteries, we catch up with old friends and meet new ones and we fall in love with Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship all over again. As always with this author, the characterisation is absolutely spot on. Fantastic fiction!

One-shots and short stories:

Still Are Thy Pleasant Voices, by @thegaromask. Rated G, 1k. P. Jul 26.

In-universe, S3 non-compliant. Soft and sweet slice of life in the future of our favorite angel and demon, who are building an existence for themselves.

The Shell Game, by GlitteringRock, @ireallyneedmoretea. Rated E, 3k. P. Jul 26.

Lovely in-universe fic where Azirapahle and Crowley meet Queen Nefertiti. They also share some intimacy. It warms my heart to imagine that they might have had such a close relationship for thousands of years!

Putting The Endearment In Dear, by joyandotherstories. Rated G, 6k. P. Jan 20.

Aw! This story was so sweet and touching! Through the ages fic where Crowley and Aziraphale have to hide their feelings to heaven, hell, each other and themselves behind plausible deniability until they don’t have to anymore. Beautiful.

An Excuse To Come Over, by AppleSeeds. Rated T, 7k. P. Jun 26.

Super fluffy human AU by the queen of fluff! Friends to lovers fic where Crowley and Aziraphale are secretly pining for each other (duh!). When Aziraphale gets drunk at a party things get funny!

The Year Without A Summer, by @crowleysgoat, HolRose @hasturswig. Rated T, 8k. P. Jul 26.

Beautiful and oh, so delicate through the ages fic where an angel and a demon have always loved and cared about each other very much, but weren’t able to admit it out loud. Until they can. S3-non compliant.  The artworks in this fic are absolutely stunning!

Sparks, by afrai. Rated M, 3k. P. Dec 02.

Book Omens, rarepair fic in which Pepper is all grown up and things to fight against are far and few between. And if Pepper needs fighting to feel alive, there’s only one entity that can make her happy, isn’t there?

The Rat Man, by AppleSeeds. Rated T, 6k. P. Nov 22.

Adorable. Just utterly adorable. Human AU where Crowley is a school teacher waiting for a guy from the local rodent rescue centre to come and to teach his class about rodents. He certainly wasn’t expecting to be so smitten with The Rat Man! This is exactly the kind of feel-good human AU I love, need and cherish!

The Ineffable, The Infernal And The Inelegant, by stew (julie). Rated M, 4k. P. Jan 96.

Book Omen, post failed apocalypse story. The tone of the fic is a bit different to the fics written after the TV show, and yet the characters are still so familiar, so very them. This is a story about temptations, but who’s tempting who? Bittersweet/hopeful ending. After all, they had eternity.

Bite size:

Pure, by Savyl. Rated G, 890 words. P. Jul 26.

Beautiful, delicatein-universe S3-not compliant moment in the future of our Ineffables. The room was very dusty when I read that story, let me tell you, but in all the good ways.

Rarebit Fiend, by TheOxribAndOyster. Rated T, 460 words. P. May 26.

S3 fix-it. Crowley had a nightmare, that’s all it was.

Where There’s Smoke, by ireallyneedmoretea. Rated T, 666 words. P. Jul 26.

Firefighter human AU. It won’t certainly be a wildfire to stop our heroes from flirting! Lovely story!

Let me know if you want to be added to a tag list for my recs. 

Under the cut because it's kind of a long list...