two pussy: ass counts as pussy

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

do you want to play dead bodies with me

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

You know how it is with dichotomies

it depends

Or it doesn't

I’ve known this post longer than I’ve known most of my friends

me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off

hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability